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Millions Prepare For Orgasm During Obama Speech
Elective Decisions ^ | 1/19/09 | Chris Davis

Posted on 01/19/2009 6:32:21 PM PST by writer33

Washington—In what could likely put Playboy magazine out of business, millions of Americans are preparing to achieve orgasm during Barack Obama’s inauguration speech tomorrow. The abundant frenzy—expected upward of 20 million—would be unprecedented in American history, dwarfing the two or three million orgasms on Election Night.

Obama’s speech, “Great Expectations,” is reportedly expected to run 17 minutes long—a period of time which is sure to leave millions writhing and undulating in sheer bliss.

The Pew Center for research has reported that 90 percent of women, and 85 percent of liberal men, expect to achieve climax in the final thrust of Obama’s campaign speech, leaving many with “Great Expectations” of their own.

(Excerpt) Read more at electivedecisions.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: chrisdavis; inauguration; itsallabouttheo; obama
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Satire
1 posted on 01/19/2009 6:32:22 PM PST by writer33
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To: Allegra; b4its2late; Babu; backhoe; Bahbah; bannie; BellStar; Big Horn; BigSkyFreeper; bitt; ...

Satire ping!


2 posted on 01/19/2009 6:32:50 PM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: writer33

not me baby, i’m watching FOOD TV NETWORK/sarc


3 posted on 01/19/2009 6:34:08 PM PST by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Scooters work good in Vermont snow)
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To: writer33
I'll be sitting at my desk working through my lunch hour. I think I'll have something from Taco Bell or McDonald's.
4 posted on 01/19/2009 6:36:21 PM PST by LiberConservative
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To: writer33

BTTT


5 posted on 01/19/2009 6:36:53 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: writer33

The less fortunate will only feel a tingly sensation run up their leg...


6 posted on 01/19/2009 6:37:18 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: MissDairyGoodnessVT

Why the “sarc” tag? Just be honest and say you do not wish to witness the ascension of wickedness. Call things what they are. The sky is blue.


7 posted on 01/19/2009 6:38:45 PM PST by Lexinom
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To: writer33

I can’t wait. Once Obama’s president, Carmen Electra is going to show up here with a keg of beer and a pizza. It’s going to be so great. Last time she did that was when Bill Clinton was president.


8 posted on 01/19/2009 6:38:45 PM PST by Paul Heinzman (Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.)
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To: writer33

I’ll be cleaning my toilet....

No way will I be remotely close to a tv or radio tomorrow - all day - though I would have liked to watch the Bush Farewell - but since I cannot and will not stomach watching any of the other obscene programming tomorrow - guess I’ll have to watch the farewell ceremony another time.

All I can say is, God help us!!


9 posted on 01/19/2009 6:39:10 PM PST by MasonGal
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To: writer33

I will not watch the Anunciation of The One (piss be upon him).

I will be on convoy duty with the National Guard.


10 posted on 01/19/2009 6:39:10 PM PST by Old Sarge (For the first time in my life, I am ashamed to be an American)
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To: writer33

...and that’s just the media.


11 posted on 01/19/2009 6:39:49 PM PST by MediaMole
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To: writer33; All
Presented as a Public Service
Certain FReepers may need this

Click here for a Barf!
Click the Pic


12 posted on 01/19/2009 6:40:10 PM PST by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: writer33

no squirt here. gonna be at the range all morning then to the reloading bench.


13 posted on 01/19/2009 6:41:04 PM PST by bobby.223
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To: Lexinom

An old Persian saying:” the sky is blue wherever you go”


14 posted on 01/19/2009 6:42:03 PM PST by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Scooters work good in Vermont snow)
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To: writer33

I actually have a job, so I will not be watching tomorrow. Somebody has to pay for Obama’s programs.


15 posted on 01/19/2009 6:42:15 PM PST by dfwgator (1996 2006 2008 - Good Things Come in Threes)
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To: writer33

I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.


16 posted on 01/19/2009 6:42:52 PM PST by truthkeeper (It's the borders, stupid.)
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To: writer33
Unlike the typical Obama voter, I'll be at work during the coronation inauguration. And I probably won't even become aroused, much less achieve orgasm.
17 posted on 01/19/2009 6:43:43 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I figure the odds be fifty-fifty I just might have somethin' to say)
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To: Old Sarge
Can you imagine what the MSM would say if Bush (or any other Republican/Conservative) spent $170 million and used 42,500 National Guardsmen for his inauguration?!

What a bunch of hypocrites!

18 posted on 01/19/2009 6:44:03 PM PST by kcvl
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To: writer33

TOTAL frigidity, here......like a Conservative woman married to a European Socialist husband. Oh, wai.................


19 posted on 01/19/2009 6:44:27 PM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear
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To: writer33

I just hope that there will be an Inaugural Commemorative toilet seat coming out soon.


20 posted on 01/19/2009 6:45:20 PM PST by Gator113 ("Noli nothis permittere te terere.")
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