Man Apprehended in Family’s Attic Says He Was Implementing Obama’s “Spread-the-Wealth” Plan

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 3 Jan 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Stanley Carter, a 21-year-old man discovered hiding in a Pennsylvania family’s attic, said he’s not a criminal, but was only trying to implement President-Elect Barack Obama’s “spread-the-wealth” policy.

Carter had apparently been living in the attic for more than a week, sneaking downstairs at night to raid the refrigerator and use the bathroom. He only was caught after cash and an iPod went missing.

“These people have more than they need,” Carter asserted. “Why shouldn’t they share it with me?”

Obama is reported to be “monitoring” the situation.

[ConservativeMan55]

bttt

[Pistolshot]

The only way they would have ‘caught’ this guy in my house was when our Chow/Lab crapped pieces of him out in the yard.

[fieldmarshaldj]

"Oh, Stanley !"

[freedomlover]

“Honey, I think the squirrels have put on a little weight this year.”

[cowboyway]

“These people have more than they need,” Carter asserted. “Why shouldn’t they share it with me?”

I can't wait to start getting some of that redistributed wealth from Soros, Kennedy, Kerry, et al.............

[freedomlover]

Obama can’t comment until he is sworn in.

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

‘Creep Down Economics’.

[LRS]

[AEMILIUS PAULUS]

In Florida( I believe)our little Obamite friends are moving into empty foreclosed homes and from what I understand are refusing to leave.

[ushr435]

Have you forgotten, “only the little people pay taxes.”

[poobear]

“The only way they would have ‘caught’ this guy in my house was when our Chow/Lab crapped pieces of him out in the yard.”

LOL!

Reminds me of the Frank Sinatra skit on SNL, “I find chunks of people like you in my STOOL!”

[oh8eleven]

“These people have more than they need,” Carter asserted.
Reminds me of the scene in Dr Zhivago where Yuri finally returns home after many months of treating the wounded at the front.
He finds his family house has been taken over by the Democrats Communists who tell him exactly the same thing.

[TexGuy]

In Florida( I believe)our little Obamite friends are moving into empty foreclosed homes and from what I understand are refusing to leave.

I wonder if the bank, as owners of the home, has the right to go into THEIR OWN home and shoot them? Does FL have the Castle Doctrine?

[Pistolshot]

Hamilton, our Chow/Lab cross (85#'s), has all the great qualities of the Lab, and all the bad qualities of a Chow. Delivery people leave items on the street for fear of getting to close to the front door.

Friends bring their kids over and he guards them so well I have to go with the parents to get the kids. Funny thing is the kids can wrestle with him, pull his ears, tail and he just keeps slobbering all over the attention.

[Vaduz]

Put three cans of fogger in the attic this time.

[poobear]

Good dog!

Just keep him in check with you as the alpha male and all should be OK.

Sounds like a great beast!

[trisham]

Chunga, our 110 pound RR hound is the same way. He hurls himself against the door-lights and front windows whenever anyone is foolish enough to ring or knock on our door. Actually, he's on alert if they drive or walk down our driveway. Sweet as can be once we give the OK, but what a wonderful watch dog!

[Impy]

Stan should’ve been thrilled someone wanted to have relations with him.