Posted on 12/31/2008 2:48:55 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
Well, it has been an interesting year here on the DUmmie FUnnies: the primaries, Operation Chaos, the general campaign and election, BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome), PMS (Palin Madness Syndrome), and the brief micro-honeymoon Obambi enjoyed with the Looney Left (if you blinked, you missed it). All of it chronicled and ribbed for your pleasure here on the DUFUs!
The DUmmies, too, are in a reflective mood, as they take stock of the year now ending. Some of them have even expressed their thoughts in poetical form, using the Japanese haiku (5-7-5) as their model. Apparently, there is a blog called the rude pundit that solicited such submissions. Well, by golly, one of the DUmmies, Tangerine LaBamba (a screen name, perhaps), excitedly reports her triumph, in this THREAD, "My haiku made it onto the Rude Pundit!!!!" So let's see what all the haiku hullabaloo is about, in Rising Sun Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, himself the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [brackets]:
My haiku made it onto the Rude Pundit!!!!
[Better yet, you made the DUmmie FUnnies!!!!]
I would like to thank everyone who made this possible - my agent . . .
[Who asks, "Where's my 10% commission?"]
my parents . . .
[Ma and Pa LaBamba, who named their little bundle of joy, "Tangerine."]
my cleaning lady . . .
[Whose work is NEVER finished.]
my exorcist . . .
[Whose work is NEVER finished.]
and, of course, all the little people out there who did everything they could to help me make this dream of mine, this crazy, silly dream that never had a chance of coming true, come true.
[Enough already! So where is this prize-winning haiku?]
All praise to some kind of deity who might be more wonderful than I am, but I can't think of any right now.
[Not even Gaia?]
I'm so excited!
[I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
I think I like it]
(The music swells.)
[So does your head. But Tangerine, baby, in your excitement you forgot to show us your haiku! So let's go to that rude pundit site for a moment and behold your magnum opus . . .]
If I live too long
Spring will bring another Bush.
I hope I die first.
[Here lies Tangerine
A Democrat Underground
From Bush Derangement]
I bow before your greatness. . . .
[Chaucer. Shakespeare. Milton. Tennyson. LaBamba. A prodigious pantheon of poetic powerhouses.]
I like it, but it's not a haiku. In fact, none of them are. Those are senryus--same syllable count, but it's about human life rather than nature.
[You can't be senryus!]
Very cool. I love the Rude Pundit.
[What about the Useless Pundidiot, William Rivers Pitt?]
This calls for dancing rodents. Conga rats!
[Conga rats from your fellow Demon rats!]
Forsooth... Basho is in deep sh*t.
[DUmmie Tandalayo_Scheisskopf compares Tangerine LaBamba to the master of the haiku, Matsuo Basho. (Yes, I had to google "Basho," but I wanted an excuse to put "Tandalayo_Scheisskopf" and "Tangerine LaBamba" in the same sentence.)]
"All the little people." I feel like a leprechaun.
[You smell like a leper colony.]
Your haiku impressed
Some guy with a bitter blog
Whoop de frickin' do
[Hey, tough crowd, tough crowd
Tangerine gets no respect
Go take a haiku!]
Swim in the ocean
Salty water, poop afloat
Try to swim away
Merriest Fitzmas
And Happy New Year to All-
Two Thousand and Nine
HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL!
Happy New Year to both of you, and thanks for the humor through this past year.
Without the laughs, I might have become terminally depressed.
Bless you both!
DUmmies write haikus
Charles writes satire better
All FReepers rejoice! :-)
FReepers love to write
And they also love to laugh
Jim Rob, you did good! :-)
DUmmies in congress
Too much handouts of money
Taxes go sky high! :-(
Military rocks
Veterans too are heroes
U.S. salutes you! :*)
Clinton was the queen
Her consort loved the ladies
‘Til “O” dethroned her! :-(
McCain, war hero
Oh, the race was his to lose
And lose it he did! :-(
Sarah stole our hearts
Plain speaking conservative
We need more like her!!!
God looks down on us
How much more can we screw up?
Thank God for Jesus! :*)
New Year’s Eve promise
FReepers cling to what is right
Hold on to the truth!! :-)
(Haikus wear me out
Counting syllables on desk
My fingertips hurt! ;-)
I wrote:
Nous sommes du soleil
Les visages de les enfants
Le main de Dieu.
We are of the sun
The faces of the children
God's hand in us all.
FWIW - I wrote them at a YES concert while they were playing Nous Sommes du Soleil.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
[Better yet, you made the DUmmie FUnnies!!!!]
Loser is this DUmmy's name.
[Whose work is NEVER finished.]
Nothing surprises me about the left.
[What about the Useless Pundidiot, William Rivers Pitt?]
What about that other Useless Pundidiot, chrissy matthews?
Leave Tangerine LaBamba alone!
Charles Henrickson buys
At full price Honeybacked half-ham,
Shuns half-price coupon
Wasn't "La Bamba" a movie about some musicians that died in a plane crash?
There was a prophet named Algore
Who spoke of global warming galore.
Although facts denied it
Algore would just hide it
So now, it's "climate change" de jour....
Happy New Year!!!!!
You should watch “Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.” The true story of a woman who won tons of prizes for writing jingles. The downfall came when companies quit using those jingle contests and began sweepstakes contests based entirely on luck, not skill. You could have won some if they still had such contests. Perhaps you could have won a FREE Honeybaked Half-Ham.
And don't pay full price for the DVD when you can get it at WalMart (don't tell John Edwards) for only about 4 bucks.
Oops- I don’t know why I thought she won. All she accomplished was getting her haiku (sorry.. her SENRYUS) printed in some dumb blog.
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