Posted on 11/30/2008 5:40:25 PM PST by Ge0ffrey
(ALBANY, NY) Sound the trumpets. Bang the drums. Forgotten upstate New York residents plan massive Bye Bye Bashes in anticipation of Hillary Clinton’s appointment as Secretary of State.
Numerous spontaneous grassroots celebrations have sprung up seemingly overnight after the news broke last week that president-elect Barack Obama might tap Hillary for a cabinet position in his new administration.
Although not official until tomorrow, Buffalo, upstate’s second largest city, plans a parade down Elmwood Avenue followed by fireworks over the Niagara River.
Meanwhile, Adirondack celebrants plan to ski a pumpkin-headed Hillary effigy off the high jump in Lake Placid’s Olympic Village. “I can’t wait to see the splat,” said Alfred Granger, a year-round Schroon Lake resident.
Even oft-forgotten and unincorporated villages like Hamlet in Chautauqua County plan a unique carpet bag bonfire Monday evening back of the Methodist Church and katty corner to the cemetery.
“We’ve scoured basements and attics for carpet bags,” said Doris Livingstone trying to suppress a smile. “Get it? Carpet bags,” she added, referring to the term used to identify northern politicians who moved south during Reconstruction after the Civil War.
Residents of Big Flats, a village near Elmira, have, as the centerpiece of their festivities, a stepping stone contest. Residents must run atop strategically placed slippery rocks across a tributary of the Chemung river. The fastest resident to successfully cross receives a symbolic boot in the behind from the county tax assessor.
“Hillary planned to revitalize upstate New York,” opined former Webster resident Daniel Stiptick. ‘She said she would help create 200,000 jobs but we’ve lost 20,000.”
“Unfortunately, she did do one thing,”. Stiptick added. “She helped turn upstate NY from red to blue, because most Republicans have moved elsewhere.” Stiptick now lives in Texas.
Canandaigua residents plan a Dying-on-the-Vine Party on Tuesday. Residents must either quickly run through a gauntlet of grapevine thrashing citizens or face stinging pain. No prizes will be awarded.
This means the Yankees will start winning the World Series again.
Damn
Hilarious.
LOL. I would love to have video.
Not until Pay-Rod retires!
They should dress the effigy up in Hillary's "Great Pumpkin" pantsuit, while they're at it.
Sounds like a good riddance celebration.
Anybody know who’s replacing Hitlery for NY Sen?
Rumor has it that Bill Clinton might get the nod.
You mean “Gay Rod.”
Do you know something about him we don’t?
Chelsea will replace her as senator just you watch
I have not checked but is Chelsea old enough?
She will have to wait until the 2010 election when she will be old enough. No Republican has a shot in NY anyway.
I can’t wait to hear Hillary’s “Adios Suckers!” speech.
Buffalo and New York City elected Hillary to the Senate. The rest of the state has more intelligence than the dimwits in these two cities. Hillary was wining and dining Buffalo Democrats before every election. Lots of meetings behind closed doors.
Thanks for the info. I thought a Republican was waiting in the wings..
Since when do laws and rules matter gessssss
Youtube will probably pull the footage if posted.
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