Obama Demands Extensive Disclosure for Potential Appointees

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 15 Nov 2008 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

President-Elect Barack Obama has demanded that all potential appointees undergo a thorough background check prior to being considered for any job in his administration. Would-be cabinet members, deputies, assistants, aides, secretaries, and receptionists are being asked to provide extensive dossiers on themselves if they hope to be hired.

Among the documents required are original birth certificates, all school transcripts, complete health records, military service histories, any police reports, and a listing of all business and personal associates since the applicant’s 18th birthday. Applicants are also being required to submit, under penalty of perjury, sworn affidavits either admitting to the commission of any illegal acts for which no police records exist or attesting that no illegal acts were ever committed.

“My administration will be the cleanest in the history of this country,” Obama proclaimed. “There must be no taint of illicit actions or associations to undermine the nation’s faith in me. I’m not saying people have to have been saints. But they must confess any mistakes they may have made to me or my designated agents before they can be considered. America can be assured that only the worthy and repentant will be appointed.”

[Ancient Drive]

Alright President-Elect Obama.. Sir... how about extensive disclosure of your Birth Certificate?

[fstab]

I’ll just say I’m glad I know how to encrypt my emails.

If you don’t know how, learn soon. Google it.

[WilliamofCarmichael]

In the book, “Unlimited Access: An FBI Agent Inside the Clinton White House,” the author and retired FBI agent Gary Aldrich wrote of interviewing Clinton appointees. When asked about loyalty some of them assured the agent that, yes they are fiercely loyal to the Clintons.

[Allegra]

"...But they must confess any mistakes they may have made to me or my designated agents before they can be considered. America can be assured that only the worthy and repentant will be appointed.”

Do they have to show their birth certificates?

[papasmurf]

Carol Lada?

[informavoracious]

worthy=non-Conservative 100% O-bots

[Luke21]

Yeah, yeah, blah blah. The press will cover for all the crooks.

[CaribouCrossing]

Thanks for the ping, John. I read about Obama’s requirements for employment and all I can say is that he’s a __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ AND he’s a ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________’in hypocrite.

[pnut22]

Thanks for the ping. You make it look easy.

[Protect the Bill of Rights]

Fantastic!

[DeLaine]

JS, I didn’t get pinged

[Man50D]

You got 'em good based on the comments.

Applicants are also being required to submit, under penalty of perjury, sworn affidavits either admitting to the commission of any illegal acts for which no police records exist

LOL!!!!

[TADSLOS]

Heh!

[jilliane]

LOL...I almost fell for it until the part about having no troubling associations...

[avacado]

Obama proclaimed. “There must be no taint of illicit actions or associations to undermine the nation’s faith in me."

[tx_eggman]

I live for the responses to your posts ...

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Funny stuff!

What’s really funny is, if Barack Obama had to do such a thorough background check on himself, he would probably have to step down and give the Presidency to V.P.-elect Goofus.

[novemberslady]

(:
Thanks for the ping