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Dear Abby
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Posted on 08/12/2008 11:33:53 AM PDT by jmpmstr4u2
Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas , who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas . I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview .. She is a part time 'working girl'.
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: elections; obama; sarchasm; satire
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: martin_fierro
21
posted on
08/12/2008 1:28:39 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right)
To: Allegra
When I get home from work I might try that - thanks.
To: jmpmstr4u2
23
posted on
08/12/2008 2:04:46 PM PDT
by
trisham
(Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
To: jmpmstr4u2
I heard it that a teacher was going around the fifth-grade classroom asking the students what their parents did to earn a living. There was the usual mixture of working people and professionals, but one little boy told the class his Mom was a single mother and she earned her living by dancing and stripping at a local club for men. He added that sometimes she would go home with them and spend the night if the money was right. The teacher sensed the embarrassment in the boy's voice and said it was time to get ready for recess. As the kids were putting their books away the teacher called the boy to her desk and asked it that was true about his mom. He replied, no but she worked to help get Barrack Obama elected and he was ashamed to admit that.
To: jmpmstr4u2
I get it: he doesn’t want the ho to kno that he’s no longer supporting Hillary, seein’ as that’s his people.
To: Lady Jag
Thanks LJ, gave me a laugh!
26
posted on
08/12/2008 5:54:34 PM PDT
by
potlatch
("Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter")
To: Allegra; the anti-liberal
Bubble bath, glass of wine and favorite music on the stereo tends to cure that... Then there are times the best you can hope for is a fresh "baby-wipe" towelette, some near beer and the iPod in your Humvee.
27
posted on
08/12/2008 6:22:52 PM PDT
by
Grizzled Bear
("Does not play well with others.")
To: Grizzled Bear
"Then there are times the best you can hope for is a fresh "baby-wipe" towelette, some near beer and the iPod in your Humvee."
I sure wish I could afford that!
(as long as the near beer tastes like a tall, cool Guinness)
To: jwparkerjr
To: martin_fierro
LMAO!!
Now THERE’S a T-Shirt I would like to have and wear! :^D
30
posted on
08/12/2008 10:12:32 PM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(McRINO needs reach across the aisle to Conservatives for a CHANGE! Dang him!!!)
To: reagan_fanatic
31
posted on
08/12/2008 10:28:09 PM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(McRINO needs reach across the aisle to Conservatives for a CHANGE! Dang him!!!)
To: martin_fierro; AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Fred Nerks; ...
I wuz set up like a bowlin’ pin! Your image above will suffice for my reaction.
32
posted on
08/12/2008 10:43:50 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/_______Profile hasn't been updated since Friday, May 30, 2008)
To: Grizzled Bear
Then there are times the best you can hope for is a fresh "baby-wipe" towelette, some near beer and the iPod in your Humvee. Yeah, that's pretty close to how I soothe a bad day here. I have a shower, but taking a bath is out of the question. When I come home, it's one of the first things I do...luxuriate in a warm, scented bubble-bath with a book and some music and I stay in there until my fingers and toes are all wrinkly. LOL
You really learn to appreciate the small stuff here.
33
posted on
08/12/2008 11:34:41 PM PDT
by
Allegra
(Goodness me, goodness me, industrial disease...)
To: jmpmstr4u2; Fiddlstix; PhilDragoo; Liz; onyx; potlatch; devolve; MEG33; Grampa Dave; Lady Jag; ...
hahahahaaaaaa!
What a HOOT !!!
- - - - - - - -
Humor break ping !!
34
posted on
08/13/2008 7:54:44 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(McRINO needs reach across the aisle to Conservatives for a CHANGE! Dang him!!!)
To: MeekOneGOP
35
posted on
08/13/2008 7:59:02 AM PDT
by
WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
(It's the Vast Wright Wing Conspiracy - labeling all whites as racist.)
To: jmpmstr4u2
36
posted on
08/13/2008 8:06:30 AM PDT
by
Oldeconomybuyer
(The democRATS are near the tipping point.)
To: MeekOneGOP
Good one. Guess that’ll make the email rounds now.
37
posted on
08/13/2008 8:07:35 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(A vote for any Democrat from BO on down the ticket is a vote for $10 a gallon gas.)
To: jmpmstr4u2
You sound like you come from a family that would support Obama, but don’t tell her if anyone in your family ever voted for Bill Clinton.
To: jmpmstr4u2
Oldie but goodie making its rounds.
39
posted on
08/13/2008 8:16:03 AM PDT
by
lilylangtree
(Veni, Vidi, Vici)
To: MeekOneGOP
LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!
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