DUmmie FUnnies 08-10-08 (DUmmies Ashamed of US Winning in the Olympics)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 8/10/2008 | 28erl, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Paul Heinzman]

The summer games are underway in Beijing after no small amount of debate over whether the United States should participate due to China's human rights violations. That debate is over now, but controversy continues. Foreign journalists have gotten a first-hand taste of China's Internet restrictions, one American tourist was murdered and another injured by a Chinese madman who then killed himself, and three Americans protesting religious oppression have been detained and then ejected from the country.

However, for some DUmmies, the real controversy is how doggone good the United States is at winning medals, as you will see in this DUmmie THREAD titled "olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many."

So let's take a break from counting Michael Phelps's gold medals to watch the DUmmies lament America's awesomeness in Bolshevik red with the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman, in the [brackets].

olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many

[It's right up there with misspelling embarrassing.]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA - I mean - I just find it like the 'gang' is here and we are taking over - what are your thoughts? I know republics like the gangs and bullies to take over everything so they like being king of the mountain all the time - I just feel like others should get a turn more often

[Every game should end in a tie. That way, everybody wins.]

I know I got sick of winning all of mine that's for sure.

[Olympic pizza eating?]

no. i like winning. and i like winning in olypmics. sorry.

[Even if it makes everyone else feel bad?]

...and this is why I always supported the idea of sending ONLY collegiate competitors from the U.S. to participate. We try to turn it into a celebration of U.S. dominance in the world and we are rightly resented for it. I find it hard to root for the U.S. in any olympic competition.

[May we question your patriotism now?]

Yes, the Olympics should be a celebration...   
...a celebration of good clean spirited international competition and camaraderie. Not an effort on the part of the U.S. to take advantage of its relative size and dominance in so many sports to carry off a gargantuan medal haul every four years. This could be achieved by sending collegiate athletes instead of professionals.

[We'd still win more than anyone.]

What professionals do we send besides Basketball and if you haven't noticed the NBA has been globalized with players from all over world who are playing for their home countrys. Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal. What other sports do we have pros in? Football, nope. Baseball, nope. Guess what, that it. Those are the pro sports. Take your head out of your ass.

[You win the gold medal Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

What part of "collegiate athletes" do you not understand, Sidney?
 
[Since Sidney is probably a professional college student, my money's on the "athlete" part.]

And what kind of belligerent jackass gets worked up over a topic like this?

[Just about any DUmmie.]

The American empire is dying in case you hadn't noticed, genius. Don't guess that matters though -- as long as we can stomp Panama in thumb wrestling and pull down the gold. USA NUMBER ONE!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

[It's "USA! USA! USA!"]

The young pros in the soccer tournament are often far better than the young men we can send, for example.

[Imagine the outcry when the United States finally wins a World Cup.]

I guess that is the part I feel - it isn't just a competition of athletes but the attitude of dominance - I do root for the people and yes I like to see how someone acts when they win - some are more gracious than others - I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities - doing their best is nice - but it is that American arrogance - I remember when I traveled in europe I stayed away from some Americans because it was embarrassing the way they acted - that holier than thou stuff - I find that same thing with republics - they act like they are holy and great and yet so many are in the closet or infidelity but you would think the dems were the only ones when in actuality - those most against something are usually guilty -

[If there were a writing competition in the Twit Olympics, you'd take the gold.]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

Jimmy Carter made them wear sweaters to save energy and they were slowed down by it!

[BLASPHEMER!]

I don't know why any American whould be surprised - it's a big sports-obsessed country that gives out university scholarships just for being good at a sport.

[Yes, these kids who bring millions of dollars in revenue to universities should get nothing and like it.]

That is literally the stupidest f*cking thing I've read all day, and there are about 600 Edwards threads competing for that title.

[That's saying a lot considering this is DU.]

This isn't the Kumbayalympics.

[It's the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hell, let's get rid of the contest and everyone can get a gold medal!

[Everybody gets a medal!]

But what would we call it?
Special Olympics is already taken....

[We'll call it the Oprahlympics.]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

[And we have noticed.]

Is there any representation of this country which doesn't embarrass you?

[Just Democratic Underground.]

[Paul Heinzman]

Actually, it should read "There but for the grace of Lisa go I"

She's my proofreader. God is my copilot. :-)

[Mr. Silverback]

Four of our guys set a relay world record today (they beat it by so much that the team that came in second was faster than the world record, too) and Phelps wasn’t even in the group. This year the Americans are faster than barracudas.

[Mr. Silverback]

Plus they got the number of countries wrong. It’s 204...and not all of them are countries. For example, Puerto Rico’s team is separate from the U.S. team.

[Mr. Silverback]

The worst part is that I stole natural resources from poor 3rd World orphans to make my post.

But hey...put some ice on it.

[Mr. Silverback]

Yep. KB is on fire this year. Martin’s my favorite, but he wasn’t even driving the #8 today.

[PJ-Comix]

It gets pretty hectic getting those food deals. I show up on Saturday morning before the food market opens up. Outside are mostly women with shopping carts and they look none too friendly. When the doors open, the onslaught begins. Shoving, pushing, shouting. However, I have developed a strategy to counter the angry women and it usually works. EVERYTHING (except a few items) in the store is just 4 for $5 ($1.25 each). Yesterday I got the following items:

3 large pizzas
3 packages of chicken parts
2 large packages of breaded chicken wings (had some last night---DELICIOUS)
4 half gallons of milk
3 egg containers with 18 large eggs each
2 large boxes of cereal
3 1-lb packages of SMOKED bacon (much better than regular bacon plus they are really thick)

Total cost---just 25 bucks.

Next Saturday I will concentrate on grabbing several bags of breaded chicken wings since they were so good. Also hope to grab several more large pizzas, especially DiGiorno. I also hope they have boneless turkey breast. Those are great for sandwiches and since they are over 5 lbs each, an incredible deal for just $1.25. Hopefully more Johnsonville brats will also be available.

[Paul Heinzman]

Four of our guys set a relay world record today (they beat it by so much that the team that came in second was faster than the world record, too) and Phelps wasn’t even in the group. This year the Americans are faster than barracudas.

Fat, stupid lazy Americans? NO WAY! This has Rove's fingerprints all over it.

[Purrcival]

OK, I have to ask: If everything is $1.25, why 4 half-gallons of milk instead of 2 gallons? Gallon size isn’t available?

The ladies are angry becuase you’re on “their” turf!

[Purrcival]

Gotta love Mark Martin. He’s a class act.

[Purrcival]

Gotta love Mark Martin. He’s a class act.

[God luvs America]

sad, pathetic, little people...

fact is were it not for athletes from other countries training in America, using American facilites, using American colleges, using American coaches, only to go on to the Olympics and compete for their “homeland”- the place where they don’t train- the US medal haul would be twice what it is now...

[Purrcival]

Are you saying that the Li'l Beaver byline should read "With Paul and Lisa Heinzman"?

[Paul Heinzman]

Cook up those breaded wings and toss them with a combination of equal parts Frank's hot sauce and oleo along with a splash of Lea & Perrin's and you got classic Buffalo wings. It took me a long time to figure this out.

All the recipes I read said fry the wings, make the sauce, toss them in the sauce. But hot sauce is vinegar based and margarine is fat and the sauce just runs right off of them.

What you need is a liaison. Dredge the wings in flour, fry them, toss them in the sauce. Best Buffalo wings you'll ever have.

You food snobs out there that would never use oleo, only butter, understand that it is about being true to the recipe. That's what they used in the Anchor Bar way back in nineteen-eighty-something.

[Paul Heinzman]

Are you saying that the Li'l Beaver byline should read "With Paul and Lisa Heinzman"?

She's behind every success I've had for as long as I've known her. She was so happy when I was invited to be a guest correspondent earlier this year.

Whenever I DUFU, she is in WAY before the ping. If mama don't laugh, ain't nobody gonna laugh.

[PJ-Comix]

OK, I have to ask: If everything is $1.25, why 4 half-gallons of milk instead of 2 gallons? Gallon size isn’t available?

Because half gallon is what they have available. Same as $2.50 per gallon which is still a good deal.

The ladies are angry becuase you’re on “their” turf!

Something like that. Plus they are vicious. Which is why I feel NO GUILT in attacking back in my own way. For example I spotted a woman about to grab a large DiGiorno pizza so I pointed behind her and with wide eyes exclaimed, "WHAT IS THAT?"

When she turned to look, I grabbed the DiGiorno pizza she was about to grab.

[airborne]

LOL!

Freepers! Giving libs a reason to hate since 1997!!

[dirtbiker]

I remember when I raced motocross that the Europeans whooped our butts every single year at the Motocross des Nations, a kind of yearly Super Bowl for professional motocross.

That ended in 1981, when Team USA went on to win 12 straight events, and leads with 17 wins in total.

Motocrossers didn't whine about loosing, they just trained that much harder....

DUmmies could learn a lot about life from sports....

[epow]

This is a perfect metaphor for liberal economics.

True, and it's also typical of a growing number of government schools in some very liberal but upscale communities. In those schools no kid is supposed to earn better grades than the others or achieve superiority over other kids in athletics or other normally competitive endeavors. Score isn't kept at either extramural or intramural sporting events, pride in accomplishment is strongly discouraged, and no kid fails a subject or gets a grade very much higher or lower than the norm whether he or she excels or struggles scholastically. That kind of nonsense runs counter to virtually every aspect of our naturally competitive human nature and behavior. But then I'm not accusing those school officials and faculties of being normal human beings. After all, they are government drones steeped in liberal fantasyworld social doctrine, so what can you expect?

Oh that's right, you can expect DUmmie graduates from those schools who will perpetuate their own kind if they ever muster up enough ambition to move out of their parents' basements and get indoctrination jobs in government schools. Nahh, that's not likely. Even warping kids' minds with leftist idiocy at a government school requires enough personal initiative to get out of bed before noon.

[dirtbiker]

Phelps wears size 14 shoes. You know what they say about guys with big feet.

He's a clown?

[dirtbiker]

We're getting into the realm of daggerboards here. We'd best leave this one alone...

A daggerboard is a retractable keel used by various sailing craft. While other types of centreboard may pivot to retract, a daggerboard slides in a casing.

I just happened to be on Wikipedia when I read the post....

Can't figure out what a part of a sailboat has to do with a DUmmie's posts....