[vanity] TIME Magazine junk mail.

Free Republic Special ^ | June 6, 2008 | M203M4

[M203M4]

Every few weeks, TIME Magazine sends me another offer to subscribe to their communist garbage. See, I received a gift membership from a relative for Christmas a few years ago and did not renew (duh). These guys do not relent.

In the envelope is the offer letter, a glossy bookmark, and a sheet describing my "free" gift if I subscribe (the same piece of garbage alarm/radio which I received with my gift membership). Oh, and a postage-paid return envelope.

I just tossed them all until I saw this cover one day while at the grocery store:

I have a feeling neither my letters nor emails detailing my anger were read...at any rate, I finally found a use for their offers.

Recall the postage-paid return envelope? I'm sending it back filled with junk mail (pizza coupons, etc), cardboard, and rocks. The third bloated envelope (lots of tape) just went out, weighing in at 1.4 lbs. Iwo Jima features prominently as a theme on the exterior of the envelope.

Alas, there is only so much one can stuff into a return envelope. I've read about more drastic measures, but I have serious doubts that this would work. For example, see http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_356.html.

Does it do anything? No. Is the cost significant? No. But sending that heavy, bloated junk-filled envelope every friday is satisfying for some reason. I highly recommend it.

[Doc Savage]

You have made a convert. I get the same Commie come-on from these morons every week! From now on, Vengeance

[GloriaJane]

Ok! Now you’ve gone and made my sides hurt....from laughing so hard LOL

[pogo101]

I’ve done this before, too, but only with the very worst offenders.

[FlingWingFlyer]

Isn’t Time the bozos that want us to eat bugs to save the planet?

[stefanbatory]

This holds some promise for a day of laughs...or at least five minutes...WATCH OUT CAPITAL ONE...muahahahahahaha...my deadly vengeance of deadly revenge will be so very sweet...and prolly not too deadly...:\

[geezerwheezer]

Stuff the prepaid envelopes with the confetti from your paper shredding machine. That really screws up their automatic openers/sorters and they have to stop and clean up the messy conveyor belts with all of the confetti on them.I take great pride in creative responses to companies I despise,and Time/Warner is at the top of my list.

[Clay Moore]

You are letting them off too easy. Tape the envelope to a large piece of wood, phone book, or rock. I am about to send the Jimmy Carter institute(?) and NY Times an 18” long chunk of landscape timber. Just clear tape the envelope on it.

[Red_Devil 232]

Confetti! Brilliant!

[Reagan80]

I thought that was Newsweak, but hey, they’re all the same.

Typical Liberals, wanting us to eat insects (like they do in China, btw...but I digress); Liberals have no grasp on reality.

Let’s say for a second that we could do that, if it were even feasible. All 304,000,000 of us convert to insect-only diets tomorrow (where this leaves the Liberal vegans, I have no idea, but let’s set them aside for now). Insects are at or near the very bottom of the food chain, and support everything above them from bird life to plant pollination, to soil aeration. If 304,000,000 people tomorrow started consuming 5 pounds of insects per day, every day, the environment would COLLAPSE from lack of insects.

Sorry, Liberals can never understand actual (as opposed to “junk”) science, reasoning or common sense.

Pass the steak sauce.

[FlingWingFlyer]

I thought that was Newsweak, but hey, they’re all the same.

LOL! Yeah. It probably was but like you said, "they're all the same." I think you're right!

[Clay Moore]

My dad kept getting offers from Good Sam RV. He sent them back asking to be removed from the list and even called them to no avail. Finally he taped it to a chunk of granite about the size of a pet tombstone. He once again asked to be removed from their list and added “I have larger rocks.” They haven’t sent him anything since. (^;

[pepsionice]

Simply a comment...but for the most part...Time isn’t worth reading anymore if you read the internet news each day and your local paper. If a guy fell into a pit for six days and needed some piece to update himself...it might be adequate but its been largely replaced by more practical means of news sources. For this reason alone...its become worthless...and left to find something to get people point at the picture on the cover and buy it soley for the picture. That might garner an audience in 1965....but 2008...it just doesn’t pay for such a operation to continue. I see Time fading by 2010 or else doubling their cover price to cover costs.

[Cobra64]

How about all the airline solicitations for their stooopid credit cards? I get one a day.

[Cobra64]

Stuff the prepaid envelopes with the confetti from your paper shredding machine. That really screws up their automatic openers/sorters and they have to stop and clean up the messy conveyor belts with all of the confetti on them.

Jeeze man. You deserve an award for that idea. Thanks!

[Operation_Shock_N_Awe]

I’m sure an envelope of used staples would be quite fun too.

[Tahoe3002]

EXCELLENT!!!!!! I am fairly creative re practical jokes, and this one I like a lot.

[wintertime]

That cover is really offensive!

I can just imagine some Clearsill generation dweeb from a tony Ivy League school whose never done anything more decisive than trim his toenails, thinking up this drivel.

Compare that to the brave heroes who actually raised the flag on Iwo Jima.