Posted on 04/21/2008 7:44:44 AM PDT by Smelly_Fed
Saturday afternoon the doorbell rings while I'm watching the Cubs game. I open the door - there stands a mid-50s man with a clipboard. He's wanting me to vote for Hillary Clinton in the upcoming Indiana primaries.
No, I say - "we're Republicans here and I could never bring myself to vote for Hillary Clinton".
"Won't you just vote for her in the primary then" - he asks, "and then vote for McCain in the fall."
No, I say - "If I was going to vote for a Democrat, it'd have to be Obama because of my absolute disdain for the Clintons".
"Ok, I see," he says, "well, can I use your toilet?" Not exactly a smooth segue.
I started to ask him if he was serious and then I took a good look at his face - he clearly was serious. His entire body was rigid and he was doing all he could not to fill his pants on my porch.
Well, what do you do? Yes, I am generally a jackass in these situations, but am I going to let a grown man crap his drawers on my porch? No says I, oh the humanity.
So I let the guy in, he does the quick-step all the way to my downstairs bathroom. If you don't know what the quick-step is, think about the last time you were stomach-sick and barely made it to the bathroom... clinching all the way. That's the quick-step.
He took about 10 minutes in there - probably had pancakes for breakfast. Thank God for Lysol spray. He took one final swing at getting me to vote for Clinton on his way out the door, as if us sharing a toilet somehow makes him part of the family now.
No says I - "you enjoy the rest of your day."
Now is that compassionate conservatism or what? Those always-caring Democrats would have probably told him to do something to himself that was anatomically impossible, had he been campaigning for McPain.
A worker who was at my sister’s house used the bathroom and left a turd so huge she had to put on gloves and cut it with a plastic knife because it wouldn’t flush.
As long as the crapping is done in his trousers and not directly on your porch I see no problem with it.
Too funny! How did you manage to keep from remarking about how full of crap he was?
Moral of the story: Don’t open your home to a Democrat, they’ll just fill your home with crap.
If he’d have asked The Watchtower people, I bet he’d have known to avoid you, huh?
TMI!
And . . . we’re done with the chocolate croissant for today.
I need to diet anyway.
LOL! :)
I agree with the freeper who said "let them eat cake" or words to that effect....
Couldn't we have another choice?
I was driving up the Turnpike yesterday behind a car with an "Obama '08" bumper sticker. I'm always curious to look the enemy in the eye so I looked over as I passed the car. The driver was a young black woman wearing an hajab.
ML/NJ
OH MAN!!!! That is HORRIBLE! (and a little funny...)
Lysol is OK but I have found Oust to be a superior odor killer...
bump
He’d have been crapping his pants all the way to the curb. Democrats are so full of crap anyway, who would know the difference if he did crap his pants? If he had left something on my porch he would have been answering to the local law enforcement. If I saw him doing it he would be picking it up in his teeth or have his bones broken.
Well, we’ve always knew what the demorats were full of, haven’t we?
You did a good thing. It’s a terrible feeling when you’ve got to go and can’t find a bathroom. I have a relative with colitis. It’s a frustrating, awkward situation. This guy could have had a medical problem like that. Even if he didn’t, you showed mercy and consideration for a fellow human. A misguided one, but what the heck.
Way too much information.
When a DEMS shows up at my door, I give him a few minutes to get off my property. It is great on my old house when they were in heels and I had a stone drive way. I like to tell them, I am armed. It is fun to watch a liberal woman in non-walking shoes stumble down a long driveway.
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