Posted on 04/08/2008 5:09:58 PM PDT by John Semmens
Al Qaeda’s Ayman al-Zawahri declared the United Nations an enemy to Muslims and vowed attacks on Jews “wherever they may be found—as prescribed in the Quran.” Zawahiri called twin bomb attacks on U.N. buildings in Algiers which killed 41 people in December and the bombing of a U.N. building in Baghdad in 2003 which killed 22, “down payments on the debt of blood owed by these unbelievers.”
UN General Secretary Ban Ki-moon issued an urgent plea for mercy to al-Qaeda. “We’re not your enemy, really, we’re not,” Ban insisted. “Look, our Human Rights Commission just voted 32-0 to punish those who insult Islam. Please tell us what more we can do. We’ll do whatever you say. Just don’t hurt us.”
The government of Austria made its own bid ward off Islamic terror by pressing charges against Susanne Winter, a member of the Austrian Freedom Party, for saying that Islam is “a totalitarian system of domination that should be cast back to its birthplace on the other side of the Mediterranean.” If convicted, Winter could be sentenced to up to two years in prison.
“Better we sacrifice the free speech of the few, rather than expose the many to the wrath of these fanatics,” said prosecutor Otto Kleinlaut. “If we don’t do something to placate them they’ll kill many more than just this one woman.”
In Holland, the Federation of Dutch Employers is looking into the possibility of suing Geert Wilders. “This man’s insistence on focusing on the violence committed in the name of Allah is endangering our profits,” said Federation chairman Hans Geldgier. “What if Muslims boycott Dutch products? Shouldn’t Wilders be held liable?”
In related news, two Iranian immigrants’ accusation of discrimination has sparked a federal investigation of the Oklahoma Department of Public Safety. The crux of the complaint is that the refusal to provide the state driver’s license test in the Farsi language violates their right to equality under the law. “Everyone’s going to have to learn Farsi eventually anyway once Iran conquers America, so what’s the big deal” asked Arash Jahandar, one of the complainants.
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http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm
Kinda stupid to attack their ally.
It’a getting harder & harder to tell satire from reality these days. I mean, I could actually believe that ifnI had had a beer first.
That’s right! Beg your sadistic torturer, who thinks of you as something less than human....That’ll help...give him an orgasm...and get even more pleasure from attacking you even more ruthlessly.
Those Persian pussey cats better learn themselfs some Okie .
I agree. Every time I read something like this I’m thinking... nooo this is scrappleface stuff, but then I’m shocked into the stratosphere to find out its REAL! So what’s the take on this story. It just can’t be real. Please say it isn’t so.
Satire and very good satire at that. More stories at his site.
SAtire. The best kind. Totally believable.
The only reason you can know for sure is that it says so.
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