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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: sionnsar

Welcome.
The Undead Thread thrives on zombie based discussions.


61 posted on 01/31/2008 5:35:07 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Tribune7
You’d think you’d at least have a Winchester 30-30 in that arsenal.

Post #43: I know, you're right

Post #44: I know, you're right

62 posted on 01/31/2008 5:37:05 PM PST by Hot Tabasco ( Don’t go messing with Smokey Taylor. He just bought a whole bunch of fresh ammo.)
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To: rottndog
"And now we need a motto for our badge..."

Yup. Fortunately we have our choice of languages: Gaelic, Scots or Latin. A couple of ideas/examples
Gaelic: Chan Eil An Snàth Marbh Fhathast! (The Thread Is Not Dead Yet!)
Scots: Touch Not the Undeid Threid Bot A Glove! (Don't Mess With The Undead Thread, shamelessly taken from Clan Chattan / Clan of the Cats!)

Photobucket

Still thinking on this...

63 posted on 01/31/2008 5:38:09 PM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

zombies walk the earth, blah, blah, blah...

But the important part is that if you so much as consider, entertaining, the remotest possibility that perhaps, somehow, someway, things could be construed, that there’s a remote chance that this is in any way less than 100% factually correct, well... you are worse than Hitler.


64 posted on 01/31/2008 5:39:36 PM PST by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: mattstat
My first wife was a zombie...she acted almost dead whether it was warm, hot or frigid cold. It didn’t matter...In my experience I don’t believe temperature has any effect upon a zombie..
65 posted on 01/31/2008 5:42:47 PM PST by vetvetdoug
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To: sionnsar

Hello, hello, anybody here but the zombies? This thread needs penguins!


66 posted on 01/31/2008 5:45:07 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
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To: Hoffer Rand; mattstat
"This could happen. After all, the Blob already ate algore."

Are you entirely certain it wasn't the other way around?

67 posted on 01/31/2008 5:46:10 PM PST by NicknamedBob (I had the solution for everything, but it got out of its container.)
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To: Tax-chick

68 posted on 01/31/2008 5:46:41 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
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To: Tax-chick; sionnsar
"Hello, hello, anybody here but the zombies? This thread needs penguins!"

Do penguins make good zombies? If so, we may get a lot of them from the global warming.

What about snowmen zombies? Poor demented souls maddened by the heat, walking thumpeting around in search of a cold slushie.

69 posted on 01/31/2008 5:50:32 PM PST by NicknamedBob (I had the solution for everything, but it got out of its container.)
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To: NicknamedBob

I’ve never seen any zombie penguins. Maybe the zombie seals ate them all.


70 posted on 01/31/2008 5:52:20 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
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To: Tax-chick

Zombie ecology. Hence the existence of this thread.

It’s based on a zombie ecological disaster.

.

With zombie science, including zombie statistics. (87.79 percent of which are made up on the spot.)


71 posted on 01/31/2008 6:05:58 PM PST by NicknamedBob (I had the solution for everything, but it got out of its container.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Gotta have a zombie plan.
72 posted on 01/31/2008 6:06:13 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: vetvetdoug

You got one of the extremely rare temperature-compensated ones.


73 posted on 01/31/2008 6:11:28 PM PST by Erasmus (Native of Gondwanaland)
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To: Tax-chick

Zombies need a well-balanced diet too.

74 posted on 01/31/2008 6:13:53 PM PST by Jonah Hex ("How'd you get that scar, mister?" "Nicked myself shaving.")
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To: NicknamedBob; Dead Corpse; dead; Tax-chick; sionnsar; null and void

Hey, this means that global warming is good for us.


75 posted on 01/31/2008 6:17:15 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Darksheare
"Hey, this means that global warming is good for us."

There it is right in the first post ...

"... if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D." -- (bolding mine)
After all, more people die from the cold and from hunger than from the heat.
76 posted on 01/31/2008 6:23:49 PM PST by NicknamedBob (I had the solution for everything, but it got out of its container.)
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To: Darksheare
Hey, this means that global warming is good for us.

Yah well, talked with my mother this evening. They're being blanketed with a whole bunch of that white global warming stuff and are a wee bit short of carbon-based natural cyclical-energy storage modules ("logs").

She'd like a relief from this "global warming" -- and even here in the Seattle area this year has already features the most snowfalls of any year in the past quarter-century.

77 posted on 01/31/2008 6:25:16 PM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Darksheare
>_>
>_>

I believe the blame really belongs to... Your coffee!!

>_>... O.o

78 posted on 01/31/2008 6:25:17 PM PST by Darkchylde (Don't try my brother's coffee!)
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To: NicknamedBob

Works for me.
I like warm weather.
Just not oppressively hot.


79 posted on 01/31/2008 6:27:41 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Darkchylde

I admit, my coffee is the cause and cure or many things.


80 posted on 01/31/2008 6:30:11 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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