Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[jwalsh07]

Hah! Good one! Global warming the unifying theory of climate that predicts everything and nothing.

[denydenydeny]

LOL! Excellent.

[AndyTheBear]

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate.

I expect it might be even higher for zombies with significant plant matter integrated into their corpses.

[MizSterious]

Are those the ones running for office, or do they include all of them, including the ones on DU?

[WorkingClassFilth]

I call hoax on this study.

It is a well known and obvious fact that we’re all under attack by blood-sucking zombies and they are currently vying for national leadership...

[andyk]

Mayor Adam West will not be pleased.

[humblegunner]

And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.

Undead prey ping.

[quark]

"All your money and children are belong to us!"

[COBOL2Java]

Most terrifying, dare I say it, would be the return of...

Michael Jackson!

[Notary Sojac]

Possibly true, but at least we’ll be safe from zombie polar bears.

[mattstat]

I don’t think that follows. Zombie polar bears are already used to the cold.

[Smogger]

That’s why I have a Glock 8, and Glock 40, and an Ithaca 12 guage. Now all I need is LOTS more ammo.

[mattstat]

Oops. I am wrong, wrong, wrong. Dr Harrister, who is at my side, tried to correct me and I did not listen.

Sorry, Sojac.

Such folly!

[colorado tanker]

If this global warming keeps up we may get another attack by the killer tomatoes too!

[joebuck]

"The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase.."

I usually like my predictions a bit more precise than this.

[Snickering Hound]

[Southack]

Al Gore will be pleased...

[Hoffer Rand]

This could happen. After all, the Blob already ate algore.

[saluki_in_ohio]

In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.....