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DUmmie FUnnies 09-15-06 ("Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 15, 2006 | John Kerry, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/15/2006 5:54:30 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

When faced with the Swift Boat Vets commercials during his 2004 campaign, John Kerry basically assumed the fetal position and just hoped they would go away. Instead, that series of commercials turned out to be perhaps the most effective ads in political history. Kerry's strong lead early in August of that year quickly dissipated as a result of those commercials. However, Kerry how has had a change of heart. Now he is ANGRY and as indicated by this DUmmie THREAD, "Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass." Unfortunately for Kerry, even most of the DUmmies aren't buying into Kerry's false bravado. As even they have noticed, Kerry was MIA when it came to answering the Swift Boat Vets For Truth charges a couple of years ago. And now he wants a SECOND chance in which he promises to be aggressive? Sorry, Kerry. You had your chance and you blew it. However, it is amusing to watch both Kerry's and the DUmmie rage at the Swift Boat Vets in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose memory of those commercials has been seared, SEARED into his mind, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass

[Kerry: I'm prepared to sign my Form 180...but not send it in.]

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) doesn't believe that Hillary Clinton has the inside track on the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination and says he would vigorously defend himself against new attacks by the Swift Boat team, according to an interview with The Examiner.

[Hillary's nomination has already been arranged by Karl Rove, Kerry. Live with it.]

"I’m prepared to kick their ass from one end of America to the other," said Kerry, in a strong hint that he intends to run for president once again.

[Kerry is preparing to attack them with a whiffle ball.]

In response to wide talk of Sen. Clinton (D-NY) being the favorite for the Democrats in 2008, Kerry says, "I don’t buy it. ... I don’t care what the dominant, conventional wisdom is today; it will not be the dominant, conventional wisdom in a year."

[When Kerry finally realizes that the 2008 nomination WON'T be his, the implosion will be incredible to behold.]

RAWSTORY

I like his attitude. I hope he backs it up with action.

[You mean like that thumb stuck in his mouth action of 2004 when the Swift Boat Vets confronted him in the commercials?]

where the hell was he when he ran last time and won??? He walked away and let bush have the presidency.I was sick and depressed for months.I campaigned for him and John Edwards and when he walked away with out a fight I was devastated!!!!!

[Have a hit from Susan Estrich's 2004 champagne victory bottle.]

Exactly. Should we believe him, this time around?

[Lucy requests that you kick her football just one more time.]

I gave more money thn all my previous donations together, campaigned for him in 2 states.It was his to lose and he lost it. We can blame other people but if he had put up a good fight he would have won. Not Him! Not Hilary! Someone without baggage that wants to put up a fight (Clark? Feingold?)

[(Kucinich? Sharpton?)]

How I wish he'd been prepared to kick "Swiftboat" ass in 2004.... How different life now might be. Go Clark, Edwards, Warner, Richardson, Gore, and anyone else who might chose to run and the FIGHT when they are F*CKED. Too bad John learned his lesson a few years too late.

[FIGHT when they are F*CKED? Great upbeat campaign slogan there.]

Trust me on this, you're not wrong.....Kerry won't get a second chance to f*ck up. Democrats want to win and he really doesn't have what it takes. I think John Kerry makes a pretty decent senator from Massachusetts (other than his pro-war votes) but thats pretty much stretching his limits to the max. He's not presidential material. He let bottom feeding scum suckers (ie the "swiftboaters") derail him in 2004 with little or no protest. Then he let Ohio be stolen with no protest. This is not the person I want representing my party in 2008. It's time to fight back and Kerry apparently doesn't know how.

[Oh pretty please! Give me a second chance to mess up again!]

He folded quicker than Superman on laundry day. It boggles the mind people still support him and want him to run again. What the proverb about doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome?

[Dan Rather could probably come up with a fake folksy Texas proverb. He will fax it to you from a Kinko's complete with proportional spacing and superscript.]

I'm pretty certain it was Albert Einstein.... "Insanity: the belief that one can get different results by doing the same thing."

[Like kicking Lucy's football over and over and over again.]

JOHN KERRY IS A SHILL. Kerry's job was to lose the election. That's why he never defended himself against the bullshit Swiftboat rubbish. That's why he conceded election night. That's why he never fought to ensure there was a clean vote. Bush is Skull and Bones. Kerry is Skull and Bones. Research the group. That is their one and only loyalty. Not to any party or, heaven forbid, the people of the United States.

[Kerry was Karl Rove's sleeper agent. When shown the Red Queen, he folded up and went into the fetal position.]

What I find frustrating is that the conspiracy theorists who propose wacky theories like this do a lot of damage to legitimate causes, like voting fraud.

[Or maybe they think your wacky election fraud conspiracy theory is harming their legitimate cause, like the Skull & Bones theory.]

So what do you make of his concession on election night? I mean, if he genuinely wanted a fair count, why give up at the start?

[Because that way he could get back to the Davos ski slopes that much quicker.]

He didn't concede on election night! It the following day, and the facts about his actions thereafter are posted.

[True. Kerry wanted to get a good night's sleep so he could be nice and fresh when he conceded.]

Poor John. He brings to mind the good ol school daze... going home after being picked on and thinking up the perfect come-back a day or 2 later.

[In John's case, a year or 2 later.]

Sorry, but John Kerry has been tagged as a Flip-Flopper and I think rightly so. It's a little too late to fire back at the Swift Boaters now.

[John Kerry flipped before he flopped.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008election; antiveteran; asskicking; brownshirtsforkerry; dummies; election2008; howtostealanelection; johnkerry; kerry2008; swiftboats
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To: PJ-Comix

Why don't you write the book first, then try to sell it? Or at least a sample. Would that work?


41 posted on 09/15/2006 7:20:32 PM PDT by beckysueb (KOmmies are really nothing but DUmmies with better PR.)
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To: beckysueb

Book deal yet? No? Okay, back to snooze mode.


42 posted on 09/15/2006 7:21:03 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Hang in there, PJ. I hear that most succesful cartoonists, writers, etc. Have enough reject slips to paper their walls by the time they get published.

You are good at what you do; that's a fact that everyone here knows.


43 posted on 09/15/2006 7:23:13 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (The devil himself is less of a demon, than the devout and peace loving Islamofaciest who serve him.)
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To: F.J. Mitchell

And sheer determination usually suceeds eventually.


44 posted on 09/15/2006 7:28:17 PM PDT by beckysueb (KOmmies are really nothing but DUmmies with better PR.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Great idea to try a different format. What would the chapters (the non-DUFU material) be like?


45 posted on 09/15/2006 7:32:55 PM PDT by RedRover (Dump Murtha! Support Diana Irey for Congress!)
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To: F.J. Mitchell
Hang in there, PJ. I hear that most succesful cartoonists, writers, etc. Have enough reject slips to paper their walls by the time they get published.

I know about reject slips because I had a ton of them from newspapers when I used to send out humor columns. However, the law of numbers were on my side. For about a three year period I would send out two humor columns per week to several dozen newspapers. Now I might have gotten a lot of reject slips but I ended up with every single article I wrote being published in some periodical. Now it might have been just one newspaper but ALL were published somewhere. Oh, there was just one exception. I once wrote a story about the OTHER Gettysburg Address delivered by Edward Everett Horton that is today almost totally forgotten (Lincoln was actually sort of a sideshow of his speech). Anyway, this story wasn't published anywhere. Or so I thought until months later a check came for me from the Louisville Courier for that story. So I ended up with a perfect track record in that regard.

Enough with that story...Did Regnery come thru with the book offer yet? No? Back to sleep. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

46 posted on 09/15/2006 7:35:28 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry Knew!

Newsmax


Excerpt: "A few weeks later, Bogdan Dzakovic - former FAA chief of the national airport-security covert Red Team (which conducted special ops in aviation-security matters) - was asked to hand-deliver a videotape to Jamie Wise, a staff person in Kerry's office. He told Wise that the film depicted the ease with which undercover operatives had successfully broken through Logan's security shields with potentially deadly weapons. Not once but 10 times!"

Worldnetdaily


Excerpt: "WASHINGTON - A third federal aviation-security agent, one still with the government, has stepped forward to say he also warned Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry about security lapses at Boston's Logan International Airport before the 9-11 hijackings there.

More!


Excerpt: Jon Leiberman, the Washington bureau chief of Sinclair NewsCentral, reported that on May 7, retired Federal Aviation Administration agent Brian Sullivan wrote Mr. Kerry, Massachusetts Democrat, a letter saying the report was just 'the tip of the iceberg' in security problems at the senator's hometown airport.

Mr. Sullivan's letter read in part: 'with the concept of Jihad, do you think it would be difficult for a determined terrorist to get on a plane and destroy himself and all other passengers? ... think what the result would be of a coordinated attack which took down several domestic flights on the same day. The problem is that with our current screening system, this is more than possible. Given time, considering current threats, it is almost likely.'

The two planes that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11 both took off from Logan Airport, reported the Washington Times.


And Reported on FreeRepublic

47 posted on 09/15/2006 7:39:23 PM PDT by DocRock
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To: beckysueb

That's a fact.


48 posted on 09/15/2006 7:40:03 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (The devil himself is less of a demon, than the devout and peace loving Islamofaciest who serve him.)
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To: mylife

LOL! That's funny. I never saw that before!


49 posted on 09/15/2006 7:42:25 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: RedRover
Basically I want to use the DUFUs as a way of analyzing the amusing psychosis of the Left. For example, the Left is constantly griping about the "fundies" but guess who is the most superstitious? The Left with their naive belief in faux Hopi witch doctors, alternate realities, Gaia goddesses, and astrology. The quotes from the DUFUs would be use to prove the point.

A whole chapter just on the subject of Freudenschade and how the Left prematurely gloats over "victories" that boomerang. Again backed up by selected DUFU quotes.

A whole chapter just on the long-winded, self-important, self-promoting Pied Piper Pitt who grandstands by making a big show of "bonding" with Cindy in the Texas ditch and ends up sweltering in the heat with his inappropriate Midnight Cowboy costume. Oh, and topped off by his painful torture by Texas fire ants.

I've had a lot of experience dealing with and writing about wackos of all types so no problem tackling the leftwing wackos like Pitt...and benburch, etc..

Well, enought jabber. WHERE's the book deal?

50 posted on 09/15/2006 7:42:53 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Incorrigible

;)


51 posted on 09/15/2006 7:44:12 PM PDT by mylife (the roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: PJ-Comix

You are doing okay then, PJ, and you know the routine.

Publican is just one more submission away.


52 posted on 09/15/2006 7:46:44 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (The devil himself is less of a demon, than the devout and peace loving Islamofaciest who serve him.)
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To: F.J. Mitchell

Publican=Publication.


53 posted on 09/15/2006 7:49:43 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (The devil himself is less of a demon, than the devout and peace loving Islamofaciest who serve him.)
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To: cripplecreek; PJ-Comix
Why thank you.

I think it is one of my best.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

54 posted on 09/15/2006 7:55:38 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: LonePalm

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald will never be the same. Kinda like Bohemian Rhapsody has become after watching Waynes World.


55 posted on 09/15/2006 8:01:10 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Did you try Crown? Who's Ann Coulter's editor?


56 posted on 09/15/2006 8:04:50 PM PDT by RedRover (Dump Murtha! Support Diana Irey for Congress!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass

John Kerry has their ass.

57 posted on 09/15/2006 8:37:29 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass

John Kerry has a plan.

58 posted on 09/15/2006 8:37:58 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass

A Swift kick to the ass?

59 posted on 09/15/2006 8:40:16 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
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To: PJ-Comix

60 posted on 09/15/2006 8:50:30 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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