I want to be a pet. Arf arf arf!!!
Posted on 07/04/2006 7:39:31 AM PDT by Enterprise
"?DEAR MARGO: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent"
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
I suspect Ms. Independent and "Margo" are going to be unmarried for a long time.
Why get married if all you're going to be is a pet?
Poor alpha women. Can't get along with alpha males, can't get along with gamma males. Life sucks.
I want to be a pet. Arf arf arf!!!
Yes, but why get married?
Why get married? Well, you got me on that one. I dunno.
BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
Exactly what I was thinking.
I am Mr. Marajade, and my wife told me that I have to tell you that I have been happily married for 16 years. Oh, 17 years dear? OK, I meant 17 years.
It's not "marry any man who'll have you" -- it's "please try not to set unrealistic criteria about what a guy has to be before you'll even speak to him". Which is how so many never-married middle-aged women got to be that way.
People post pics of supermodels here, but most guys have some grounding in reality as far as their actual prospects with supermodels (unless you're very wealthy or are a hot movie star yourself)
Define "unrealistic criteria." I'm not challenging you, I'm truly curious.
It's the fatal misconception about "equality". For decades, women have had it drilled into them that men and women are the same except for minor physical differences. This leads them into the fatal miscalculation that men think the same way they do.
Women are sttracted to high-status powerful males. For a woman, there is evolutionary benefit in picking somebody who will be able to provide for and protect you and your kids.
Men are attracted to healthy, fit women in their prime child-bearing years. There is evolutionary advantage in planting your seed in a fertile location. There is advantage in having kids by a woman who is fit enough to be able to raise them without you if need be
Nowdays it seems like most men want a woman who brings in money enough to pay for "her half" of everything, but I've never found a man who wants to do "his half" of the housework. When it comes to money, they're all modern men. But after a day of both partners working, when nighttime comes and there's dishes and laundry and cleaning... gosh, they're just too darn tired.
They don't mind me exhausting myself to make life comfy for them, they like being mothered. But let me fall behind financially and they are quite put out at having to pick up the slack, even if it's only temporary. And time and again I've just come to feel "I take care of you but you don't take care of me." So I'm on my own, and I'm kind of sad about it sometimes, but ... I just can't do that anymore.
I'll give you an example. Many years ago I worked for a small consulting company. The secretary/office-manager was a gorgeous woman in her late 20's. She had decided she was going to may a successful business owner. Nothing less would satisfy her. She had no interest in going out with somebody who was not wealthy.
Many years later I ran into her again. She was 40, still single, and bitter.
What I mean by realistic criteria is to be sure that the set of people who you are interested in, actually contains a significant number of guys who are actually interested in YOU
Guys get their "reality adjustment" fairly early in the game, because they are the ones that are supposed to take the initiative. If you ask out women who are way out of your league, you get immediate feedback real fast.
Women, on the other hand, can persist in the delusion that "Prince Charming is out there", and not allow reality to penetrate that for every real "Prince Charming", there's lots of women competing for him
A woman who delivers what a man wants, in sufficient degree to have him want to go out of his way to keep her happy, will get what she wants. The trick is to find a man that wants what she can deliver.
I think I'm just too nice and end up feeling taken advantage of. Since I don't know any other way to be, I suppose I'll just have to go it alone. But I'm glad you have a good arrangement.
I drove school bus for three years, my dad made me learn to drive a stick, I can butcher and can food and cook, I've rewired the phone systems for two houses, taken a toilet off, replaced the seal, and snaked the drain, then put it back together. I can change the oil in my car, or a flat tire, at one point I knew how to gap the plugs. I work full time and go to college full time. I have a huge dog, a ferret, and I don't like cats. I'm pretty good with a Glock .23.Know any late forty something year olds, that would be interested? LOL!
Well we were perfectly happy living in caves until the old ladies started yelling at us to throw out the stegosaurus bones. It's never been the same since.
I do remember one time, for whatever reason, she wanted to argue about some (what seemed to me) trivial thing. I agreed, she was right, I was wrong, pointed conceded. That wasn't good enough for her, she persisted. Her eyes were burning red, orange light was glowing from around the holes where her hair came out of her head. She beat ineffectively on my chest with her tiny little fists, spurtering out, "What do you say to that! What do you say to that!" Having already conceded point, match and game, what more could I say? I placed my hands gently on her shoulders, looked deeply into her eyes and spoke, "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day; Thou art more temperate and more fair..." In a stunning comeback, game to Lonesome! Of course, if she knew how to handle firearms, I wouldn't be here to tell you this story. (Alternatively, if she knew how to handle firearms, I might have been more careful about the kind of scraps that I got into in the first place...)
It all comes down to communication. You have to speak up and say "I'm doing A, B, and C around here. What I want from you in exchange is X, Y, and Z". He'll come back with "Well, you're not taking into account that Im doing #, ##, and ###", you come back with "I'd rather have X, Y, and Z", and around it goes.
It will wind up with you getting what you want, or him moving out. Or maybe you discovering that you could be doing something different in order to make keeping you happy valuable enough to him.
In all seriousness, if you have any doubt about her using a weapon in a domestic argument, it's time to leave
From your account, it seems like she was angry about something else that she wasn't comfortable articulating, rather than the "official" subject of the argument
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