[SauronOfMordor]

Alternatively, if she knew how to handle firearms, I might have been more careful about the kind of scraps that I got into in the first place...

In all seriousness, if you have any doubt about her using a weapon in a domestic argument, it's time to leave

From your account, it seems like she was angry about something else that she wasn't comfortable articulating, rather than the "official" subject of the argument

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

I agree with both your points. We've been going on for 25+ years, so we must be doing something right.

Women tend to take out general frustration (at their boss, father, car...) on their husbands. At the time it was abundantly obvious to me she there was some other issue. Anything I said was fraught with danger. I've learned when my wife asks me a question, it could either be that she's looking for validation or she wants advice. It's never 100% clear which. The secret is to seem interested, ask some questions, and find out which it is. As soon as possible get out of Dodge ("Gee, Honey, I gotta get to HomeDepot for lint baffles for the humidifier filter. Need any tea cozies or anything while out?")