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DUmmie FUnnies 05-22-06 ("Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 22, 2006 | Kossacks and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/22/2006 6:22:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:

The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.

[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]

IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.

[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]

One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.

[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]

This would be a big deal.

[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]

We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!

[In this case, for Cat's stools!]

Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.

[You mean create a set of stools.]

I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.

[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]

I'm kind of stalling for time here...

[Or stooling for time here...]

It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.

[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]

Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.

[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]

i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it

[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]

have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.

[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]

I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed

[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Stool v Stool Pigeon.]

It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.

[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]

Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?

[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]

Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.

[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]

Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.

[A black stool is my speculation.]

report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?

[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]

I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated

[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]

Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!

[Or in a TruthOut story.]

I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.

[Somewhere between Nil and None.]

Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?

[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]

This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.

[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]

This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.

[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]

I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.

[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]

Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.

[But FUn!]

Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.

[However they should be DUFUed.]

Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?

[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]

I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.

[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]

Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.

[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]

This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....

[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]

This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.

[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]

As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.

[It takes one to know one.]

Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.

[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]

Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: catstools; crap; dummies; fitzmas; hoaxmas; kittyping; robertluskin; willpitt
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To: RedRover

His avatar is Sophie Scholl. If you Google her, you'll see that it is disgraceful that Fat Che even suggests he could be in the same league.


221 posted on 05/23/2006 8:50:09 AM PDT by KJC1
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To: PJ-Comix

Whenever I clean my cat's litter box, I will think of Pitt and Ash and Leopold.


222 posted on 05/23/2006 8:53:52 AM PDT by steve-b (A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom)
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To: RedRover
I can't place Tubby's avatar. Can you?

Fat Che's aavatar in DUmmieland is a gross insult to humanity and all that is good and decent.

The photograph is that of a girl who along with her brother and a friend (I forget their names) who defied the Nazis in Germany during at the worst possible time to do so (right in the middle of the second world war).

They were college students--I think her first name was Sophia--who handed out anti-Nazi pamphlets and who were of course immediately caught and beheaded. I think this was in 1943 (I have not had my morning coffee-and-cigarette yet, so the memory is vague).

Fat Che apparently adapted her photograph and the name of the ill-fated three-person organization, the "Society of the White Rose," because Fat Che lives under the illusion, the delusion, that she represented the same things for which he stands.

Odd, because here we are talking about a devout and practicing Roman Catholic, obviously pro-life, pro-family, pro-moral courage.

It is disgusting, but as this is a free country, one imagines Fat Che has the right to use the avatar he does, although it is something akin to my using Margaret Sanger as an avatar, or to my fellow alum the glum sullen saturnine rubgyite Head Warden "Skinner" using Thomas Jefferson as his.

223 posted on 05/23/2006 8:55:17 AM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: El Conservador
No, no. It's not circular. It's all empirically tested. In the real world, it is a known fact, solid as 2+2=4, or the sun rising in the East, that Bush, Rove, & company are eeevil. Therefore, every datum that points to this is factually verified. Every datum that does not is either in error, or is a lie.

It's you EEEEvil FReepers who cannot think logically about the world. You do see that, don't you??
///??? (Dang!, Where's that sarcasm tag?)
224 posted on 05/23/2006 9:40:02 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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To: All

Why isn't there a DUFU today on FR? It's up on blogspot. It is the DUmmies reaction to the Army Ranger hoax. It's a good one.


225 posted on 05/23/2006 11:01:34 AM PDT by imskylark
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To: All

Why isn't there a DUFU today on FR? It's up on blogspot. It is the DUmmies reaction to the Army Ranger hoax. It's a good one.


226 posted on 05/23/2006 11:01:50 AM PDT by imskylark
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To: Choose Ye This Day

"Oh, but it was only about sex!"

Never mind the lying to the grand jury in an attempt to deny a woman her day in court, suborning perjury from potential witnesses, sending his minions out over the air waves with similar lies, and various other acts of witness tampering. He wasn't found in contempt of court and disbarred just for "lying about sex". Mr. Rhodes Scholar was just dumb enough to think he would never get caught in his lies.


227 posted on 05/23/2006 11:26:17 AM PDT by Purrcival (To the DUmmie w/the Kerry/Edwards sticker who got mad at my Bush/Cheney sticker: Nyah nyah!)
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To: imskylark

I think FR was down for awhile today. I couldn't log on earlier.


228 posted on 05/23/2006 11:27:35 AM PDT by Purrcival (To the DUmmie w/the Kerry/Edwards sticker who got mad at my Bush/Cheney sticker: Nyah nyah!)
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To: franksolich

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1637024/posts?page=20#20


229 posted on 05/23/2006 12:29:26 PM PDT by commonguymd
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To: PJ-Comix; Poser; Cletus.D.Yokel; speed_addiction; gate2wire; Petronski; bcsco; shezza; gidget7; ...
(Started writing this the other night, then got too busy, just now was able to finish it. CH)
.

The Wayne Madsen Report. . . .

[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland. . . .]

Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.

CALL ME UNACCEPTABLE
Tune: "Call Me Irresponsible"

Call me unacceptable
Call me unreliable
Throw in, "He's a fat tub of goo"
Do those Luskin alibis fool you?
Well, I checked the cat and I checked its stool too

Call me freighter-sinkable
Tell me I'm unlinkable
Wayne who's too insane for DU
Madsen, as in "mad as hell"
Throw in "raving mad" as well
I'm a certifiable loon
I'm Wayne, the Madsen who's mad times two

230 posted on 05/24/2006 9:03:57 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Wayne who's too insane for DU"

I think you may have gone a bridge too far with that line Charles, no one is too insane for DU. A mental illness certified by a licensed Doctor of Psychiatry is a requirement for registering over there.

231 posted on 05/24/2006 9:23:43 AM PDT by epow (Jesus is Lord of all)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That's Madsen? Yikes. It looks like he and Fat Che would get along well.


232 posted on 05/24/2006 9:38:10 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy! (Freudenschade, Baby!))
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To: epow
no one is too insane for DU.

The point is that Madsen is considered by DU to be beneath their standards. Now that takes some doing!

233 posted on 05/24/2006 9:46:36 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Mad Dog Madsen.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

DU has standards?????

Well, shut my mouth and corn my pone, who knew....


234 posted on 05/24/2006 11:24:52 AM PDT by alarm rider (Irritating leftists as often as is humanly possible....)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Charles you need to make an album of your greatest hits. Heck, you could even donate a portion of the proceeds to charity...perhaps the Pitt Rehabilitation Fund...of course you'd HAVE to sell it for $10.

Cindie


235 posted on 05/24/2006 11:26:53 AM PDT by gardencatz (Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That is a great one!


236 posted on 05/24/2006 11:27:26 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Charles Henrickson

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAH! Love this line: "Wayne who's too insane for DU"


237 posted on 05/24/2006 1:34:02 PM PDT by Purrcival (If the Left had evidence of their claims, they wouldn't have to rely on FAKES to "prove" them.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"The Wayne Madsen Report. . ."

This guy's face looks familiar. Wasn't he a talking head on Fox News at one time? That's the only place I can come up with where I may have seen him. However, it could have been CNN from before our getting FNC through out cable provider.

238 posted on 05/24/2006 2:49:35 PM PDT by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" - Anonymous)
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To: bcsco

239 posted on 05/24/2006 2:58:41 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Mad Dog Madsen.)
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