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DUmmie FUnnies 05-19-06 (TruthOut Issues Non-Apology "Apology" For Hoaxmas)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 19, 2006 | Marc Ash, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/19/2006 7:18:41 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

At 4:23 PM today, TruthOut issued a non-apology apology over Hoaxmas. It sort of looks like an apology but it really ISN'T an apology. What it really is is a heaping load of of unadulterated BULL. As we shall see, not even the DUmmies are buying it. So let us now jump right in with the lame NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY typed out in a fit of desperation by TruthOut's Marc Ash in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hoping that Pied Piper Pitt has a designated driver wherever he is tonight, is in the [brackets]:

The Rove Indictment Story as of Right Now

[Deeply immersed in a huge load of bull.]

On Saturday afternoon, May 13, 2006, TruthOut ran a story titled, "Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators." The story stated in part that top Bush aide Karl Rove had earlier that day been indicted on the charges set forth in the story's title.

[And Marc starts off right away trying to feed us a heaping pile of bull since the story did not state that Karl Rove had earlier that day been indicted. It flat out stated that he had been indicted the PREVIOUS DAY. Not only that, Pied Piper Pitt shouted out in DUmmieland that the indictment would have "May 12, 2006" on it as the date. Please continue piling it on, Marc...]

The time has now come, however, to issue a partial apology to our readership for this story. While we paid very careful attention to the sourcing on this story, we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle. In moving as quickly as we did, we caused more confusion than clarity. And that was a disservice to our readership and we regret it.

[God forbid you issue a FULL apology for peddling a FALSE story. And what does it mean to get "too far out in front of the news-cycle," Marc? You drinking from the same sauce bottle as Pitt? Why don't you just UP FRONT state whether the story was TRUE or FALSE?]

As such, we will be taking the wait-and-see approach for the time being. We will keep you posted.

[Yeah, you keep us posted on whether the Tooth Fairy stole those Karl Rove indictment papers. Even the DUmmies can't swallow the bull being served up by Marc Ash as you can see starting on DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #17 where the TruthOut Non-Apology Apology was first posted.]

Not only does it not clear anything up, it doesn't say anything at all.

[Didn't you get it? TruthOut got so far in front of the news cycle that they got run over by their own cycle.]

"too far out in front of the news-cycle". I don't know what that means.

[Pitt can explain it to you if you buy him a drink.]

It means "we're trying to spin that we were completely wrong".

[LOL!!! And a Kewpie Doll to you!]

non-apology, it's not a retraction nothing has changed. they are digging themselves into a deeper hole They also, have not pulled the story or the headline on the home page. They are standing by their story.

[Pitt is standing on Rove's indictment paper that is dated (according to him), May 12, 2006. No ifs, ands, or butts.]

i think it means that they got out in front of reality

[Don't get too far ahead of reality or it will run you over.]

????we erred in getting too far out in front of the news-cycle??? What in blazes does THAT mean? We apologize for being ahead of the curve??? That's not helpful. It's a non-apology apology. I suppose it is a shred better than nothing, but it still does not address the fundamental issues; the 24 hour business, the lack of a verifiable indictment which was not said to be sealed in the report, or the issue of the three/five/seven sources and the baker's dozen set of eyes that supposedly vetted the work.

[And don't forget the 15 hour lockdown with the Secret Service of Patton Boggs. Oh, and Sonny Crockett too!]

The whole "24 hours to get his affairs in order" thing was made up. Ask any lawyer.

[Inluding an OldLeftieLawyer.]

That's a complete non-explanation of truthout's goalpost-moving

[It took them 24 business hours to move that goalpoast.]

ROFL! They're just easing into a complete retraction...

[We've gone from Frog Walk to Retraction into the Turtle Shell.]

This incident probably caused a civil war at truthout. There have to have been staffers at truthout who didn't want their site to have anything to do with Leopold or his "investigative reporting".

[They were all outvoted by the Magic Man. And now on to DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #18 where the DUmmies are even MORE skeptical about TruthOutTheDoor's Non-Apology Apology.]

So, wait they're officially apologizing for "getting too far out in front of the news cycle?" What is that? They're apologizing for the the timing of the story, but not the content? Are they addressing the content of the story at all in that partial non-apology? It doesn't look like it. What "wait and see" approach? The story was wrong - why can't they simply correct it? That's really lame.

[Even the DUmmies think this TruthOut "apology" is really Pittiful.]

No more truthout for me. No More rawstory or truthout for me. I will stick to DU, Huffingtonpost, Johnconyers jnr Blog, michalemoore.com and bartcop.

[Giving up heroin for crack?]

And now I have to go slap my shop steward for getting me to go to T.O.

[And then slap yourself for remaining in DUmmieland.]

Right now, w/this non-apology for a non-story, they've just prolonged the questions & the inevitable embarrassment of a retraction. It's been a week - of continuing stories, clarifications, & new and improved details from Leopold. And this is the best explanation they can come up with? Was the story right, or was it wrong? Defend it, or retract it, but don't try to manipulate people & hide behind meaningless statements. At a newspaper, these editors & reporters would be fired.

[Or promoted like Jayson Blair at the New York Times.]

"getting too far out in front of the news-cycle" = making shit up

[To be precise, Pitt Shitt.]

It's so unbelievably arrogant for them to come out w/this cavalier non-apology, after the story's already been proved false. Really, who do they think they are? Are they not accountable to their readers? The "news cycle" & "wait & see" thing was extremely patronizing - it's almost like they're trying to fool people all over again. Were they really expecting people to buy this? I can also see why Leopold found such a home there. I used to think they got duped, but this non-explanation now makes me think that they're in it as deep as Leopold is.

[Based on past experience, they were confident the DUmmies would buy it. After all, they were just $10 away from indicting Karl Rove.]

I see now why Jason Leopold was able to get work with this group. They're as nuts as he is, but they're not as smart as he is.

[Jason Leopold is smart enough to NEVER try confessing his innermost secrets in DUmmieland under a transparent "Temporary Sockpuppet" identity.]

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. This weasel bullshit is the best they could come with? "Too far out in front of the news cycle" - unbelievable. There must not be a banquet hall on earth big enough to hold their egos. I literally am speechless.

[A state in which Pied Piper Pitt NEVER finds himself.]

I am *pissed*, to say the least. All I have wanted is for Rove to get his. You led me on for a good week, TO! I am so *sick* of this whole era! I wish there was such a thing as a time-machine so I could just *get away*! Everyone just lets me down, all the time! It's an f-ing nightmare! Why can't I just wake up & have it all be over?

[Take a Time Trip to the Era of the Eloi. However, there will ALWAYS be the Morlocks ready to devour you wherever you go.]

There is more class in this one post... that Will Pitt has shown on DU for a long time. I truly believe his fame went to his head, and he forgot that much of that fame came from the help he received from DU. I remember when he used to post his articles here and have them editted for FREE by people who cared for the truth. Then when DU had helped him to tighten them up and make them better, then he would post them over at TO. DU helped make Will Pitt and TO, and what do we, and most importantly the admins get? They get called cretins.

[Did you help Pitt edit his Hockey Puck Geopolitical Treatise in which he proclaimed that the Third American Empire was born in the midst of fans cheering America's 1980 Olympic hockey victory over the Soviets?]

here's why this story was not plausible from the beginning does anyone really think that "white house staffers" would tell Jason Leopold the time of day, let alone something like this? the folks in the whitehouse are all bush cronies. they aren't going to leak something like this, and if they did, they certainly wouldn't call up JL. the scenario of "multiple sources" flocking to JL to tell him something this sensitive is just not plausible. but this only happened because WE all WANTED to believe it so badly.

[I thought Jason's assertion of Sonny Crockett as a source was pretty credible.]

you know flags should have gone up once the article was published

[Instead, DUmmie victory champagne bottle corks popped on a mass scale.]

Wasn't Joseph Wilson himself supposedly one of the sources?

[That was definitely Pitt's drunken assertion. And now the DUmmie Demolition Derby proceeds to DUmmie HOAXMAS THREAD #19.]

These threads make me laugh out loud.... So damn entertaining.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Is Jason Leopold the James Frey of Journalism?

[A Thousand Little Feces.]

Maybe he's the Jason Blair of the Blogs?

[Or Boggs.]

It's a non-apology, for a non-story. Fitting, I guess.

[Edited by a soon-to-be non-person.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; fitzmas; freudenschadebaby; hoaxmas; jasonleopold; karlrove; marcash; truthout; willpitt
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To: PJ-Comix
BREAKING: I just got off the phone with David Soul, and he has faxed me a copy of THE ROVE INDICTMENT! I have his permission (and Starsky's) to post it here, now, exclusively on the DUmmie FUnnies®--however, I have been asked to redact out certain sensitive portions. So with that proviso, here goes. THE ROVE INDICTMENT:


21 posted on 05/19/2006 7:33:00 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Merry Fitzmas!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I would post the rest of the indictment, but it remains sealed.


22 posted on 05/19/2006 7:34:50 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Merry Fitzmas!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL


23 posted on 05/19/2006 7:35:30 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Governor of California, another job Americans won't do.)
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To: pj_627

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #860.


24 posted on 05/19/2006 7:35:42 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
These threads make me laugh out loud.... So damn entertaining.

Me too!

25 posted on 05/19/2006 7:38:27 PM PDT by DocRock
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To: PJ-Comix

They say in comedy timing is everything. The slow buildup over the week to the exploding heads on a Friday night capped off with that picture...just absofrackinlutely superb PJ. Thanks.


26 posted on 05/19/2006 7:39:00 PM PDT by cabojoe
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To: PJ-Comix

Another great job!


27 posted on 05/19/2006 7:40:22 PM PDT by Krodg
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To: PJ-Comix

I assume the Pied Piper himself was nowhere to be found on any of the threads?

Forgive me for asking - I don't have the stomach to check myself. That's why I love the DUmmy FUnnies so much!


28 posted on 05/19/2006 7:40:35 PM PDT by Ogie Oglethorpe (The people have spoken...the b*stards!)
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To: Ogie Oglethorpe

No, the Bostonian Idiot has been conspicuous by his conspicuous absence.

I truly hope the Bostonian Idiot is getting some sort of help somewhere; the guy needs a multi-major-mega psychiatric overhaul.


29 posted on 05/19/2006 7:41:42 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: Ogie Oglethorpe

Pied Piper Pitt has indeed been AWOL today. In fact, the DUmmies on these threads are howling for Pitt and Leopold to out their sources, and a couple of them said they would appreciate it if Pitt would log on and explain himself.


30 posted on 05/19/2006 7:43:32 PM PDT by Purrcival (Curses! Roved again!)
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To: PJ-Comix
And now I have to go slap my shop steward for getting me to go to T.O.

Terrell Owens with a Sharpie is more likely to get it right than t r u t h o u t i n t h e A s h P i t t . o r g .

31 posted on 05/19/2006 7:43:45 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson ( t r u t h o u t i n t h e A s h P i t t . o r g)
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To: PJ-Comix
Welcome aboard, PINGEE #859.

When do you predict Pingee #1000? And what will they get?

32 posted on 05/19/2006 7:45:38 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Governor of California, another job Americans won't do.)
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To: PJ-Comix
The story was wrong

Just like Oprah's wunderkind druggie author, James Frey...Jason Leopold can state that his indictment story is "emotionally true."

"Don't worry about facts...this story is too good to check."

33 posted on 05/19/2006 7:45:42 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!)
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To: Purrcival

I'm sure the Bostonian Idiot is going to show himself--his diarrheal ego can't help itself--but probably under the screen-name "TemporarySockPuppet," like that other time when the Bostonian Idiot didn't want anybody to know who he was.


34 posted on 05/19/2006 7:45:48 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: PJ-Comix
Rare, actual photograph of Truthout's "sources" for the now (justly) infamous ROVEGATE non-story:


35 posted on 05/19/2006 7:47:27 PM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("It'sTime for Republicans to Start Toeing the Conservative Line, NOT the Other Way Around!")
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To: franksolich; PJ-Comix

In case people didn't see it on the other DUFU thread, the TO/Leopold thread is now on #20:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1240889


36 posted on 05/19/2006 7:48:23 PM PDT by Purrcival (Curses! Roved again!)
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To: franksolich

He did make that one appearance a couple of days ago, where he babbled about "rivers of gratitude" for the I BEEEEELIEEEEVEEE! contingent but didn't stick around long. DUmmie OldLeftyLawyer pretty well dismembered him on that thread, and thanks to his drunken raving against Skinner, he couldn't even count on having his mess cleaned up for him this time.


37 posted on 05/19/2006 7:50:09 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
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To: Purrcival

Fat Che's been quiet ever since the left-handed attorney shut him up about three Bostonian Idiot threads ago.


38 posted on 05/19/2006 7:50:44 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

DARN! I almost posted that Pitt had reappeared, but it turns out that his thread from 05/14 has been kicked.

Oh, well...


39 posted on 05/19/2006 7:50:44 PM PDT by Purrcival (Curses! Roved again!)
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To: PJ-Comix; LUV W
this only happened because WE all WANTED to believe it so badly.

I'm going to flip ALL the cards over, panel, and award this DUmmie a Kewpie Doll!


40 posted on 05/19/2006 7:52:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (John Charles Daly Henrickson)
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