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DUmmie FUnnies 04-24-06 ("Thoughts on John Kerry")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 24, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/24/2006 7:20:12 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The FUnniest thing about John Kerry's attempts in the last few days to put himself front and center in the news as a prelude to his Presidential rerun in 2008 is that he simultaneously SUNK his own campaign with words that will come back to haunt him. I am referring to his defense of CIA traitor (and Kerry campaign contributor), Mary McCarthy. HERE is what Kerry said about traitor McCarthy: “So I’m glad she told the truth but she’s going to obviously suffer the consequences of breaking the law.” Of course, Kerry will say we didn't understand his "nuances" when he is attacked for being "glad" over the release of classified information. It will do him NO GOOD. Kerry has cooked his own goose. The most FUn part of the 2008 primary will be watching his complete mental meltdown when he is ground under by the Hillary (or Gore) campaign. It will be volcanic eruption of ANGER of such proportions that not even Dr. Buddy Rydell can help him.

Meanwhile, in his typical fit of BAD TIMING, Pied Piper Pitt has suddenly performed a flurry of activity on behalf of Mama T's Boy Toy. In just the past couple of days, Pied Piper Pitt Posted Plentiful Presidential Promotional Postings Pertaining (forgive the alliterations) to Kerry. In his typical name dropping demeanor, Pitt posted this THREAD self-promotingly titled, "I asked Kerry today about running in '08." But wait, there MORE! < /ron popeil> Pitt ALSO posted ANOTHER Kerry THREAD the following day with the equally self-promotional title of "my Kerry speech analysis + interview." But all that Kerry shilling STILL wasn't enough for Pitt. He had to jump up and down waving his Kerry Flag with a THIRD Kerry THREAD simply titled, "Senator John Kerry." Hey, Pitt, why not just post a thread titled, "John Kerry: HIRE MEEEEEE!!!"

Despite Pied Piper Pitt's amusing cheerleading for Kerry, many of his fellow DUmmies remain skeptical about Kerry's chances as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Thoughts on John Kerry," posted by a DUmmie whose thoughts on Kerry would not be pleasing to Shill Pitt. So let us now read in Bolshevik Red what the DUmmies think about the Senator who recently became so energetic on behalf of himself while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Pitt can get a job as Kerry's press secretary so he can secretly feed information to the Hillary campaign, is in the [brackets]:

Thoughts on John Kerry

[I had a thought on John Kerry before I didn't have a thought on John Kerry.]

I worked 14 to 20 hour days for 7 months as a field coordinator in a very competetive state, in three highly Republican counties, to get this man elected president of the United States of America. At the time I believed in the cause 110%.

[John Kerry has your back.]

On Election Night 2004, I was on a call with the rest of the GOTV (get out the vote) staff in the state I was in. My name was read as a list of people who were to go to their local county courthouse to observe the vote counting process and be ready for any kind of "trouble." A few days before, I had been told to have a bag with several days' clothes and supplies ready to go. When I got this call to go to the courthouse, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.

[Were you told to pack a pack of condoms and a Form 180?]

I stopped, turned around, and handed my keys to a trusted volunteer. I said to him, "I'm going to the courthouse, and who knows where after that. I don't know when I'll be back here."

[After the court house you'll be going to....DISNEY WORLD!!!]

I sat at the courthouse as huge boxes of certified ballots arrived and the RoveBots glared at me. I was in a state that Kerry won by 11,000 votes. I personally exceeded my vote goals by 5,000 votes (although so did the Bush organizer because of huge turnout). I took off a semester from school to get this man elected, did everything I could. I helped win an extremely close state.

[Hmmm.... Could this be New Hampshire? Well, it did you NO GOOD since the Diebold Machines gave the victory to Bush in Ohio.]

At this point.... would I suspend my life and do it all again for John Kerry? No. He has done nothing since the polls closed and I sat alone at a courthouse that indicates to me he was worthy of nearly half of the popular votes cast in this vast land. He was worth it at the time, but now I truly believe we have much better candidates.

[WAAAAAH! He doesn't WUV John Kerry anymore. So who do you believe in now? From the pic on your post it looks like nerdy Russ Feingold has your true love.]

Senator Kerry, it's time to step aside. That is, unless you can get a multitude of Democrats elected this fall, introduce some legislation to get me health care, help my friends get better student loans, and save our environment from the Bush administration, along with all the other world's problems (like Iraq).

[...and windsurf while standing on one leg.]

He would have been, and COULD still be a great president - but what has he done for us lately?

[Pied Piper Pitt is wondering when Kerry is going to do something for HIM like hire Pitt as his press secretary or speech writer.]

it is the Rovian technique... to divide and add one to his side...divide and add one to his side...etc... But the thing is this division stuff over 08 now only hurts democrats in 06!!!

[Hee! Hee! How do you know that the author of this thread isn't Karl Rove himself?]

Whoops. You cited your work on election night, your sacrifice. The element of KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART runs through your post like bile.

[That sounds like it could be the title and theme of a Paul Anka type 50s teen tune: "KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART."]

My basis for "dismissing" him is related to disappointment in the way he handled the 2004 election, the Ohio results, the vote on the war, the vote on the USA PATRIOT Act.

[None of which will hurt Kerry as much as his statement that he was glad Mary McCarthy betrayed the CIA.]

I love Feingold but there is no way he will get the nomination being an unmarried candidate.

[Perhaps he can get that condition rectified. I understand that Barney Frank is in the marriage market.]

Kerry has contributed a lot to this country. But it's too soon for him to run again. I just don't see it happening.

[He needs to wait until 2028.]

considering the piss poor election georgie ran the lies he told, he should have lost in a landslide. plus whenm clearly the night of the election there was shit afloat and kerry conceeded after OHIO, i want kerry to shut the f*ck up, or bring theft charges.

[Kerry has your back.]

As one who sits and waits for the required 5 days to go by before Sen. Kerry voices a stance on issues...I hear you.

[Kerry has your back...after he thinks about it for 5 days.]

Edwards was pushing for recounts. It has nothing to do with that really...but getting the feeling of being steamrolled for all of our efforts. It's sitting and waiting and "picking battles" that never happen that gets my gut. It was, and always will be a colossal waste of my time...time I should have spent with my children it appears in hindsight.

[I guarantee that this DUmmie will forsake his family again in 2008 to waste his time on a campaign upon which he will have NO EFFECT.]

I say he's being a good soldier for the cause. As for his strategy, tactics, and style...if this past 15 years is a slow recapitulation of the Civil War, he's the Sherman figure in it. Sherman as respected but unloved, ignored, or given obloquy by Northerners except his own army and Ulysses Grant. Sherman was first coldly despised by common Southern soldiers, then vociferously hated and slandered, then helplessly obloquied but passionately excoriated, and ultimately (in North Carolina) the letters speak of Southern demoralization and certainty of ruin just by his showing up with his men.

[Kerry is more like the General Joe Hooker of your cause.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008election; badpitt; dummies; election2008; flipflop; johnkerry; kerry2008; kerrydefeat; marymccarthy; willpitt; willtheshill
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To: LUV W; KJC1; Purrcival
that bloviating nutjob . . . that self-important nobody. . . .

That's our boy! P3, Pied Piper Pitt!





61 posted on 04/24/2006 9:18:52 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Pied Piper Pitt.)
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To: SquirrelKing

What a nice collage!


62 posted on 04/24/2006 9:19:56 AM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Well, I haven't been around much..but I welcome you back! Yep..that's our boy all right! Some things never change!


63 posted on 04/24/2006 9:20:52 AM PDT by luvie (A free Iraq . ... will serve as an amazing example for people who are desperate for freedom! GWB)
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To: Charles Henrickson

64 posted on 04/24/2006 9:21:24 AM PDT by dead
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To: Charles Henrickson

The FUnniest of those Pitt pics is the one where he is sucking down on the cigarette.


65 posted on 04/24/2006 9:22:21 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: SquirrelKing

Whenever I see the pic of the yuppie looking couple with her head on his shoulder I can just hear her saying, "Honey I just don't feel like Starbucks tonight".


66 posted on 04/24/2006 9:23:10 AM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (More people died in Ted Kennedy's car than hunting with Dick Cheney.)
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To: dead; mikrofon; PJ-Comix; Choose Ye This Day; Roscoe Karns; Mr. Silverback; kevkrom
Hey, I'm wondering if one of you guys who know how to do these things can take the head of Will "the Shill" Pitt (see the montage in post 61) and put it on the guy in the photo below and put these words on the sign:

WILL SHILL
FOR FOOD
DRINK


67 posted on 04/24/2006 9:27:04 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will the Shill.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

What's great about the Pitt cigarette sucking pic is that it caught him in an unguarded moment. Normally Pitt puts on a pose like he is posing for a music album cover or as an all-wise pundit. The cigarette pic caught Pitt as he REALLY is: An awkward slob sucking down desperately on a cigarette. Posters should be made of that pic.


68 posted on 04/24/2006 9:29:41 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Pitt is still maintaining the FICTION that he hasn't endorsed any candidate yet. Gee. I wonder who Pitt will eventually endorse? Such a toughie.

p.s. I checked the UseNet and apparently EVERYBODY has been having trouble publishing their blogs on BlogSpot since yesterday. Hope they FIX the problem soon. However, I feel a bit better knowing it just isn't me having this problem < /paranoia>.

69 posted on 04/24/2006 9:37:38 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: AxelPaulsenJr
Whenever I see the pic of the yuppie looking couple with her head on his shoulder I can just hear her saying, "Honey I just don't feel like Starbucks tonight".

LOL Good one!

70 posted on 04/24/2006 9:37:47 AM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: PJ-Comix
The FUnniest of those Pitt pics is the one where he is sucking down on the cigarette.

Actually, kinda a gross pic.

71 posted on 04/24/2006 9:37:50 AM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (More people died in Ted Kennedy's car than hunting with Dick Cheney.)
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To: maggief

That picture of the crying Kerryite never, ever gets old. I could look at it every day.


72 posted on 04/24/2006 9:44:49 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (What part of 'If you don't vote Republican, DemRats will control our country' don't you understand?)
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To: SquirrelKing

"Oh, that was so good it simply MUST be fattening!"--Stewie, The Family Guy


73 posted on 04/24/2006 9:45:48 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (What part of 'If you don't vote Republican, DemRats will control our country' don't you understand?)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Maybe Pitt goes for OVER-age gals, too. Cindy's available, you know. And Wee Willie is desperate.

I've long surmised that Pitt will "do" anyone (or anything) that tells him how wonderful he is, but, EEEEWWWWWWWWW!

74 posted on 04/24/2006 9:46:04 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Wow, man, like he's so cool in black. Now there's a look no one ever thought of before.

Why do dorks think they look good in hats, when they're dorks even without them?

75 posted on 04/24/2006 9:47:35 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (What part of 'If you don't vote Republican, DemRats will control our country' don't you understand?)
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To: PJ-Comix
BAD PITT is

THE MAN WITH
ONE RED SHOE

76 posted on 04/24/2006 9:47:51 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (William "A Rivers Runs Truthout" Pitt.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

So, this Pitt guy is gay, I'm assuming from the look of him, and how he has this thing for hags.


77 posted on 04/24/2006 9:49:30 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (What part of 'If you don't vote Republican, DemRats will control our country' don't you understand?)
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To: SquirrelKing

"memmmmmmmm-ries....like the corner of my mind..."


78 posted on 04/24/2006 9:50:40 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (If low-skill workers were key to economic growth, Mexico would be an economic powerhouse.-Rich Lowry)
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To: Charles Henrickson

79 posted on 04/24/2006 10:13:47 AM PDT by mikrofon (Here's a go at it)
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To: PJ-Comix

These morons think anyone who does any less than fellatiating John Kerry and Wesley Clark is "swiftboating" them.


80 posted on 04/24/2006 10:19:54 AM PDT by Democratshavenobrains
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