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DUmmie FUnnies 04-24-06 ("Thoughts on John Kerry")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 24, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/24/2006 7:20:12 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The FUnniest thing about John Kerry's attempts in the last few days to put himself front and center in the news as a prelude to his Presidential rerun in 2008 is that he simultaneously SUNK his own campaign with words that will come back to haunt him. I am referring to his defense of CIA traitor (and Kerry campaign contributor), Mary McCarthy. HERE is what Kerry said about traitor McCarthy: “So I’m glad she told the truth but she’s going to obviously suffer the consequences of breaking the law.” Of course, Kerry will say we didn't understand his "nuances" when he is attacked for being "glad" over the release of classified information. It will do him NO GOOD. Kerry has cooked his own goose. The most FUn part of the 2008 primary will be watching his complete mental meltdown when he is ground under by the Hillary (or Gore) campaign. It will be volcanic eruption of ANGER of such proportions that not even Dr. Buddy Rydell can help him.

Meanwhile, in his typical fit of BAD TIMING, Pied Piper Pitt has suddenly performed a flurry of activity on behalf of Mama T's Boy Toy. In just the past couple of days, Pied Piper Pitt Posted Plentiful Presidential Promotional Postings Pertaining (forgive the alliterations) to Kerry. In his typical name dropping demeanor, Pitt posted this THREAD self-promotingly titled, "I asked Kerry today about running in '08." But wait, there MORE! < /ron popeil> Pitt ALSO posted ANOTHER Kerry THREAD the following day with the equally self-promotional title of "my Kerry speech analysis + interview." But all that Kerry shilling STILL wasn't enough for Pitt. He had to jump up and down waving his Kerry Flag with a THIRD Kerry THREAD simply titled, "Senator John Kerry." Hey, Pitt, why not just post a thread titled, "John Kerry: HIRE MEEEEEE!!!"

Despite Pied Piper Pitt's amusing cheerleading for Kerry, many of his fellow DUmmies remain skeptical about Kerry's chances as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Thoughts on John Kerry," posted by a DUmmie whose thoughts on Kerry would not be pleasing to Shill Pitt. So let us now read in Bolshevik Red what the DUmmies think about the Senator who recently became so energetic on behalf of himself while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Pitt can get a job as Kerry's press secretary so he can secretly feed information to the Hillary campaign, is in the [brackets]:

Thoughts on John Kerry

[I had a thought on John Kerry before I didn't have a thought on John Kerry.]

I worked 14 to 20 hour days for 7 months as a field coordinator in a very competetive state, in three highly Republican counties, to get this man elected president of the United States of America. At the time I believed in the cause 110%.

[John Kerry has your back.]

On Election Night 2004, I was on a call with the rest of the GOTV (get out the vote) staff in the state I was in. My name was read as a list of people who were to go to their local county courthouse to observe the vote counting process and be ready for any kind of "trouble." A few days before, I had been told to have a bag with several days' clothes and supplies ready to go. When I got this call to go to the courthouse, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.

[Were you told to pack a pack of condoms and a Form 180?]

I stopped, turned around, and handed my keys to a trusted volunteer. I said to him, "I'm going to the courthouse, and who knows where after that. I don't know when I'll be back here."

[After the court house you'll be going to....DISNEY WORLD!!!]

I sat at the courthouse as huge boxes of certified ballots arrived and the RoveBots glared at me. I was in a state that Kerry won by 11,000 votes. I personally exceeded my vote goals by 5,000 votes (although so did the Bush organizer because of huge turnout). I took off a semester from school to get this man elected, did everything I could. I helped win an extremely close state.

[Hmmm.... Could this be New Hampshire? Well, it did you NO GOOD since the Diebold Machines gave the victory to Bush in Ohio.]

At this point.... would I suspend my life and do it all again for John Kerry? No. He has done nothing since the polls closed and I sat alone at a courthouse that indicates to me he was worthy of nearly half of the popular votes cast in this vast land. He was worth it at the time, but now I truly believe we have much better candidates.

[WAAAAAH! He doesn't WUV John Kerry anymore. So who do you believe in now? From the pic on your post it looks like nerdy Russ Feingold has your true love.]

Senator Kerry, it's time to step aside. That is, unless you can get a multitude of Democrats elected this fall, introduce some legislation to get me health care, help my friends get better student loans, and save our environment from the Bush administration, along with all the other world's problems (like Iraq).

[...and windsurf while standing on one leg.]

He would have been, and COULD still be a great president - but what has he done for us lately?

[Pied Piper Pitt is wondering when Kerry is going to do something for HIM like hire Pitt as his press secretary or speech writer.]

it is the Rovian technique... to divide and add one to his side...divide and add one to his side...etc... But the thing is this division stuff over 08 now only hurts democrats in 06!!!

[Hee! Hee! How do you know that the author of this thread isn't Karl Rove himself?]

Whoops. You cited your work on election night, your sacrifice. The element of KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART runs through your post like bile.

[That sounds like it could be the title and theme of a Paul Anka type 50s teen tune: "KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART."]

My basis for "dismissing" him is related to disappointment in the way he handled the 2004 election, the Ohio results, the vote on the war, the vote on the USA PATRIOT Act.

[None of which will hurt Kerry as much as his statement that he was glad Mary McCarthy betrayed the CIA.]

I love Feingold but there is no way he will get the nomination being an unmarried candidate.

[Perhaps he can get that condition rectified. I understand that Barney Frank is in the marriage market.]

Kerry has contributed a lot to this country. But it's too soon for him to run again. I just don't see it happening.

[He needs to wait until 2028.]

considering the piss poor election georgie ran the lies he told, he should have lost in a landslide. plus whenm clearly the night of the election there was shit afloat and kerry conceeded after OHIO, i want kerry to shut the f*ck up, or bring theft charges.

[Kerry has your back.]

As one who sits and waits for the required 5 days to go by before Sen. Kerry voices a stance on issues...I hear you.

[Kerry has your back...after he thinks about it for 5 days.]

Edwards was pushing for recounts. It has nothing to do with that really...but getting the feeling of being steamrolled for all of our efforts. It's sitting and waiting and "picking battles" that never happen that gets my gut. It was, and always will be a colossal waste of my time...time I should have spent with my children it appears in hindsight.

[I guarantee that this DUmmie will forsake his family again in 2008 to waste his time on a campaign upon which he will have NO EFFECT.]

I say he's being a good soldier for the cause. As for his strategy, tactics, and style...if this past 15 years is a slow recapitulation of the Civil War, he's the Sherman figure in it. Sherman as respected but unloved, ignored, or given obloquy by Northerners except his own army and Ulysses Grant. Sherman was first coldly despised by common Southern soldiers, then vociferously hated and slandered, then helplessly obloquied but passionately excoriated, and ultimately (in North Carolina) the letters speak of Southern demoralization and certainty of ruin just by his showing up with his men.

[Kerry is more like the General Joe Hooker of your cause.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008election; badpitt; dummies; election2008; flipflop; johnkerry; kerry2008; kerrydefeat; marymccarthy; willpitt; willtheshill
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To: PJ-Comix
I worked 14 to 20 hour days for 7 months as a field coordinator in a very competetive state, in three highly Republican counties. . . .

It sounds, Will, like they shipped you off to some place where you couldn't do much harm, to counties that were already a lost cause. Smart move on their part.

Unlike your daddy, Redding Pitt, who spent all that time and money on the doomed Kerry campaign in Alabama, while neglecting entirely winnable races for local Dems, much to their dismay--thus leading to your daddy's being dumped as Dem party chair in that state.

41 posted on 04/24/2006 8:16:49 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will the Shill.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Right there I know Pitt is making this up.

I don't think this was PPP speaking...

42 posted on 04/24/2006 8:23:13 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: PJ-Comix
My name was read as a list of people who were to go to their local county courthouse to observe the vote counting process and be ready for any kind of "trouble." A few days before, I had been told to have a bag with several days' clothes and supplies ready to go.

Fearing his celebrity would cause him problems, Will decided to go incognito, wearing his Midnight Cowboy outfit:


43 posted on 04/24/2006 8:25:46 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Snake Pitt.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That wasn't Pitt who worked those hours. I was quoting the author of a non-Pitt thread who swore off the Kerry Kool Aid.


44 posted on 04/24/2006 8:31:41 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: kevkrom; PJ-Comix
I don't think this was PPP speaking...

Oops! You're right. I didn't notice THIS in PJ's intro: "posted by a DUmmie whose thoughts on Kerry would not be pleasing to Shill Pitt." Thanks for alerting me before I continued with more posts assuming it was Will the Shill speaking.

So disregard my posts 38, 41, and 43, in which I thought it was Pitt.

45 posted on 04/24/2006 8:32:37 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Read before posting.)
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To: kevkrom; Charles Henrickson
Correct. I was quoting ANOTHER DUmmie. Pitt can't work those long hours without a "refreshment" stop at Bukowski's. Remember, he couldn't even spend a night in the Texas ditch with Cindy Sheehan. Pitt spent his evenings in a hotel room with A/C.

BTW, there was a recent Pitt self-promoting, name dropping thread where Pitt was buying drinks for Cindy Sheehan at Bukowski's. I kid you not.

46 posted on 04/24/2006 8:34:33 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
At this point.... would I suspend my life and do it all again for John Kerry? No. He has done nothing since the polls closed. . . .

Hey, that's not true! Jean-Fraud Kerry has CONQUERED the slopes of Davos and Gstaad!

47 posted on 04/24/2006 8:37:21 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I'm still a little rusty, I guess, after a long Lenten lay-off.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Here's my favorite DU post since this weekend's Kerry speech:

Think about what she's actually saying there. She's not saying that she wishes it would be announced that Kerry actually won, she's saying that she actually BELIEVES that they are about to announce that Kerry really won the last election. CNN is already showing deference to Kerry, because they have inside information that the results of the election two years ago are about to be overturned.

She really believes that this is about to happen, because Kerry has a lot of flags around him and Wolf Blitzer schlepped his dumb butt over to Kerry's office for an interview.

I wonder if she's calling her friends and getting ready to party when the news becomes official - John Kerry is President. Right now!

You can't spell delusional without DU.

48 posted on 04/24/2006 8:39:17 AM PDT by dead
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To: PJ-Comix; kevkrom
BTW, there was a recent Pitt self-promoting, name dropping thread where Pitt was buying drinks for Cindy Sheehan at Bukowski's. I kid you not.

Maybe they were planning something:

. . .. "MOTHER" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. PIED PIPER
SHEEHAN . . . . . . . . . . . .PITT.


SHEEHAN-PITT '08
WE'RE DITCHING AMERICA

Paid for by the Moonbat Coalition. sfexpat2000, Treasurer.

49 posted on 04/24/2006 8:42:05 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will Pitt, the Wild Bull of the Pompous.)
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To: PJ-Comix
BTW, there was a recent Pitt self-promoting, name dropping thread where Pitt was buying drinks for Cindy Sheehan at Bukowski's. I kid you not.

Maybe Pitt goes for OVER-age gals, too. Cindy's available, you know. And Wee Willie is desperate.

50 posted on 04/24/2006 8:43:22 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Prediction: The Pitt of Despair will be ditched by Cindy.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I love Feingold but there is no way he will get the nomination being an unmarried candidate.

Russ needs to find himself a sugar mama like Kerry did.

51 posted on 04/24/2006 8:49:40 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Ketchup mama?)
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To: PJ-Comix
TOP 57!


52 posted on 04/24/2006 8:53:31 AM PDT by NewLand (Posting against liberalism since the 20th century!)
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To: PJ-Comix
getting the feeling of being steamrolled for all of our efforts.

What gave you that idea?


53 posted on 04/24/2006 8:53:45 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Rove sees all, knows all, controls all.)
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To: PJ-Comix
On Election Night 2004, I was on a call with the rest of the GOTV (get out the vote) staff in the state I was in. My name was read as a list of people who were to go to their local county courthouse to observe the vote counting process and be ready for any kind of "trouble." A few days before, I had been told to have a bag with several days' clothes and supplies ready to go. When I got this call to go to the courthouse, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.

Contents of DUmmies' survival kit:

One forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; and three pair of Depends.

54 posted on 04/24/2006 8:55:29 AM PDT by weegee ("CBS NEWS? Is that show still on?" - freedomson)
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To: PJ-Comix
At this point.... would I suspend my life and do it all again for John Kerry? No. He has done nothing since the polls closed...

John Kerry is a man who had never authored any significant piece of legislation. What'd you expect???

55 posted on 04/24/2006 8:57:24 AM PDT by weegee ("CBS NEWS? Is that show still on?" - freedomson)
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To: PJ-Comix
if this past 15 years is a slow recapitulation of the Civil War, he's the Sherman figure in it.

I would compare Kerry more to General George McClellan, who never got moving, failed to go on the offensive, and so was dumped by President Lincoln. That is Kerry's fate among the DUmmies.

56 posted on 04/24/2006 9:01:13 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Generally speaking.)
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To: PJ-Comix

57 posted on 04/24/2006 9:02:21 AM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestu s globus, inflammare animos)
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To: weegee
don't forget the self tanner and Lance Armstrong "Lose Strong" bracelet.


58 posted on 04/24/2006 9:05:01 AM PDT by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestu s globus, inflammare animos)
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To: PJ-Comix

no thoughts for john kerry . . . just a finger. can you guess which one?


59 posted on 04/24/2006 9:14:35 AM PDT by Big Guy and Rusty 99 (what?)
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To: Charles Henrickson
That's about the twentieth graphic that I've created and then saw later with the "StrangeCosmos" or "StrangePolitics" tag appended to it. Those guys are disgusting thieves.

You can find it on my Freeper page without their bidenesque tag on it.

60 posted on 04/24/2006 9:18:41 AM PDT by dead
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