Posted on 04/19/2006 11:07:59 AM PDT by Millee
Feminists worked their butts off to declare their independence from their husbands. Today however, research reveals more of us are content with taking on our partner's last names. So what are the rules for the modern girl?
Here's a quick question for the girls: would you keep your own last name if you got married? Or are you happy to become a Mrs. so and so? How important is your independence to you?
It certainly doesn't seem too high on the list of priorities for ex-Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes. After taking on fiance Tom Cruise's religion and having his baby, she has now declared she'll be changing her name to Katie Cruise. (Perhaps she hopes to differentiate herself from Cruise's past wives who kept their own last names.)
So I ask you fellow femmes, what are the modern rules for us to follow on this one?
It seems that despite all the rapacious red-lipped modern women who shun men and claim they aren't really necessary, many of us are still keen to leave behind our identity in favor of taking on our man's name.
Startling as it may seem, this has been proved by new research that has stunned the media world. Harvard economics professor, Claudia Goldin, found that 44 per cent of women in the Harvard class of 1980 who married within 10 years of graduation kept their birth names, while in the class of '90 it was down to 32 per cent.
In 1990, 23 percent of college-educated women kept their own names after marriage, while a decade later the number had fallen to 17 per cent.
Time magazine reported similar statistics, citing an informal poll taken by The Knot, a popular wedding portal. The poll found that 81 per cent of respondents took their spouse's last name, an increase from 71 per cent in 2000. The number of women with hyphenated surnames fell from 21 per cent to 8 per cent.
So why is this so? Aren't we supposed to be rampant with less-conservative attitudes to marriage, sex and men? Why have we not demanded to keep our identities instead of being happy to adhere to a life as an "anonymous biological robots in a docile mass," as described by Betty Friedan in The Feminine Mystique?
"It's a return to romance, a desire to make marriage work," remarks Goldin. Yet have we shunned all that feminists once worked so hard to achieve? (In 1986 The Times finally agreed to switch from Mrs. to Ms. in its news pages, after much hectoring by feminists like Gloria Steinem.)
But do modern women really care anymore? Miss Holmes certainly doesn't.
I think it's fine to go back to your maiden name after a divorce. It does get confusing for the kids at times though, I'm sure, when they have a different last name. But, I changed my name a couple of times as a kid due to my mother's marriages and my bio father's lack of interest in me.
I'm confused. What color lips are the normal, non-men-shunning women supposed to have?
SD
Yeah, my mom waited until we were older before changing back and she asked us if we minded.
My stepmom didn't want to take my dad's name when they married because she had a teenage daughter and wanted them to have the same name. Plus, it's one way for her to "maintain her independence." One of these days I'm going to ask her when she's going to start maintaining her independence from his money! :-)
Just plain lip color. Think make-up tips from Amish or Mennonite women.
LOL! Excellent point! Don't people know that maintaining your independence has very little to do with what name you have?
What a kook! Keep me posted though! ;o)
We have a gal with a hyphenated name running for Sherriff of my very rural (redneck) county here in Indiana. I will be curious to see the results.
I'll take Xena's Guy's surname eventually. There's a lot of paperwork to fill out and frankly I'm lazy. ;)
Hey, no rippin on West VA....my mom is from there.
Oh I definitely will.
I'll even post pics if I get them.
Jes kiddin. No offense meant!
SD
It's OK, her relatives are all related....
LOL! (I knew it!!)
Had to be. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a TEETHbrush. ;)
How do you know that all women's maiden names are the same as their father's last names? And why is that a problem? Are you saying it like a "man's name" is a bad thing, or that a woman should think it is?
I never considered it a "male/female" thing. My last name was *my* last name and had been the same for 7 generations back, 5 of us being consecutive first-borns. Children were not in the equation for me. My decision was not a "feminist" decision.
A lot of generalizations being thrown around here.
You are too kind. Wrong, but too kind. :)
When I meet single folk with hyphenated names, I always think "so, I see your Daddy was a p-whipped nancy boy." ;)
You what?
you heard me...don't make me admit it again.
please. :`)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.