What's in a name?

Sydney Morning Herald ^ | 4/19/06 | Samantha Brett

[Millee]

Feminists worked their butts off to declare their independence from their husbands. Today however, research reveals more of us are content with taking on our partner's last names. So what are the rules for the modern girl?

Here's a quick question for the girls: would you keep your own last name if you got married? Or are you happy to become a Mrs. so and so? How important is your independence to you?

It certainly doesn't seem too high on the list of priorities for ex-Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes. After taking on fiance Tom Cruise's religion and having his baby, she has now declared she'll be changing her name to Katie Cruise. (Perhaps she hopes to differentiate herself from Cruise's past wives who kept their own last names.)

So I ask you fellow femmes, what are the modern rules for us to follow on this one?

It seems that despite all the rapacious red-lipped modern women who shun men and claim they aren't really necessary, many of us are still keen to leave behind our identity in favor of taking on our man's name.

Startling as it may seem, this has been proved by new research that has stunned the media world. Harvard economics professor, Claudia Goldin, found that 44 per cent of women in the Harvard class of 1980 who married within 10 years of graduation kept their birth names, while in the class of '90 it was down to 32 per cent.

In 1990, 23 percent of college-educated women kept their own names after marriage, while a decade later the number had fallen to 17 per cent.

Time magazine reported similar statistics, citing an informal poll taken by The Knot, a popular wedding portal. The poll found that 81 per cent of respondents took their spouse's last name, an increase from 71 per cent in 2000. The number of women with hyphenated surnames fell from 21 per cent to 8 per cent.

So why is this so? Aren't we supposed to be rampant with less-conservative attitudes to marriage, sex and men? Why have we not demanded to keep our identities instead of being happy to adhere to a life as an "anonymous biological robots in a docile mass," as described by Betty Friedan in The Feminine Mystique?

"It's a return to romance, a desire to make marriage work," remarks Goldin. Yet have we shunned all that feminists once worked so hard to achieve? (In 1986 The Times finally agreed to switch from Mrs. to Ms. in its news pages, after much hectoring by feminists like Gloria Steinem.)

But do modern women really care anymore? Miss Holmes certainly doesn't.

[JillValentine]

Brings back memories of the dreaded Smith-Jones from high school biology class... (names changed, but the first letters are the same)

"It's Ms. Smith-Jones, or Mrs. Smith-Jones, or Ms. Smith, or Mrs. Jones, but not Ms. Jones or Mrs. Smith..."

THUD

(sound of whining being cut off by application of heavy biology book to whiner's head)

[Feiny]

I would change my name.....the only odd part would be that his sister & I have the same 1st name. I guess I could change my first name too & then go into witness protection.

[Mike Bates]

Either way, she'd mainly have been in trouble.

[retrokitten]

Right! How did people address their Christmas cards?? My husband had an uncle and he lived with a woman for nearly 20 years before they got married. I didn't know what to do there either. Cause they were pretty much married, but not really. So, I ended up just putting both their full names.

[Snardius]

What's in a name...

This is not a problem in Arkansas...since they marry their siblings....

[peacebaby]

Just imagine if you married a woman named Master... ... ... ...

(yes, I know, I am off the wall today! :`)

[peacebaby]

This is my brother Louis, and my other brother Louis... ...

[Rummyfan]

Tom needs to calm down and have some placenta! And come out of the closet!

[JillValentine]

Tom Cruise: The one guy who can make even Howard Dean look sane.

[Millee]

Oh that would be kinda weird. Unless your in W. Virginia his friends might think it's strange that he married his sister. ;o)

[Serb5150]

Well, David Robert Jones doesn't exactly scream notoriety.

[Allegra]

Why not just both husband and wife make a unique name that is all their own like "Moonpuppy" or something like that?

(I am SO not at ALL in a serious mood tonight.)

[Snardius]

Or, Aquarius Slut-Poodle...?

[peacebaby]

slap happy and short timing, are you?

[retrokitten]

We did talk about this one day actually. She said she doesn't know what she is going to do. He has some crazy last name that needs about a half dozen more vowels to be pronounceable in English. It's like Vzclakwereqwsjlmrepexdlski (well, maybe that's a slight embellishment ;-)).

Want to hear the latest drama? She called the wedding planner and, surprise!, she quit. They are on their 4th wedding planner with the hotel the reception will be held at. PLUS, the hotel changed it's name to something not even remotely close to what it used to be. Even though she hasn't ordered her wedding invites yet, she is trying to get the hotel to reimburse her for the cost of the invites because she lied and told them that they have to be reordered with the hotel's new name.

[cyborg]

Thanks...met right here on FR :-)

[EDINVA]

I was the sister with the sister-in-law-to-be who'd have my same name post-nuptuals... I clarified for people that I was "Jane Doe the First" and she was "Jane Doe the Second." 45 years later, my sister-in-law is still not too happy about that, even tho I'm no longer "Jane Doe."

[cyborg]

Yeah! LOL

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Somehow I do not think you fit into the jerk or weenie category!

[elc]

It's funny - I will definitely take my fiancee's last name and my parents, especially my dad, keep asking why I don't just keep my name. I'm the one being old fashioned.

Of course, my mom went back to her maiden name several years after my parents divorce. And my stepmom has kept her first husbands last name, even though she's been married to my dad for 10+ years.