DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-05 (Pied PIper Pitt's Fictional Response To DUmmie FUnnies)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2005 | William Rives Pitt and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:

In the shadow of staggering assholes

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml

["Truthout." Appropriate name.]

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]

Well.

[Will.]

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.

[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]

Why?

[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]

Now here's the funny part.

[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]

Morals:

1. I don't lie in my essays;

[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]

3. Don't f*ck with my friends;

[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

[Fiction, eh?]

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]

[commonguymd]

interesting.

[HungarianGypsy]

Even funnier, maybe they'll start suspecting each other. "Are you really who you say you are or are you PJ?" It all sounds silly and juvenile, though, doesn't it?

[freedumb2003]

Buahahaha --- they are already backpedaling:

66. Why would this guy even care if you were telling the truth or not?

I mean, it's a story about a guy you may have tentatively converted to our side, but even if you were lying, who cares? Who is hurt by the lie? (For the record, I have no opinion on whether you were lying or not. I don't know you at all, so how could I rightfully make that judgment?) I don't understand why anyone would make such a big deal out of it."

Standard Lefty "argument." It doesn't matter if the material/evidence is fake as long as the story is true.

[Adam Wood]

It's not exactly a smoking gun, but here's at least a few references to A.N.S.W.E.R. by Will:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4386849#4387073

http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=265

http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=267

The DU one is at least complacent with A.N.S.W.E.R.:

"WilliamPitt (1000+ posts) Thu Aug-18-05 10:28 AM Response to Original message 26. It's tough Do you want a focused protest, or do you want 500,000 people to show up? ANSWER puts butts in the seats, and they do so by throwing the door wide open to all comers. It is scattered as hell, but I'd rather have 500,000 protesters come for an important march than a few thousand who are focused."

My google-fu doesn't seem to be working well today.

[imskylark]

"Standard Lefty "argument." It doesn't matter if the material/evidence is fake as long as the story is true."

You're a little off here. It doesn't matter if the material/evidence/STORY is fake as long as they BELIEVE the story is true.

[PJ-Comix]

Thanx but I remember a more detailed posting by Pitt on the subject of A.N.S.W.E.R.. Basically Pitt was justifying having to work with A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yet somehow Pitt was EMPHATIC in denying to me that he EVER had ANY contact with the A.N.S.W.E.R. comrades...EVER!!!

[Eagle of Liberty]

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

You guys might want to look at "The Giver" as well. This book is on my son's book list in school. It has that sort of eery "Communist" theme to it.

[PJ-Comix]

YOWZA!!! A fellow Freeper sent me a link to my very own DUmmie FUnnies edition titled, "Pied Piper Pitt's Demonstration Disaster Excuses" where he defends working with the A.N.S.W.E.R. comrades. You can find that DUFU edition HERE. While reading this, please keep in mind that Pitt insisted to me TWICE last night that he never ever even talked to any A.N.S.W.E.R. comrades. Apparently Pitt kept himself hermetically sealed in a body condom while organizing the September rally. I now leave you with a Pitt quote from that DUFU edition:

ANSWER threw together the largest street protest in recent memory.

[SamKeck]

Just for laughs, and for those who remember the Andy Stephenson dust up on the DUmp, here's a link to another classic Pitt post where he again talks about his favorite Boston bar.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4144710&mesg_id=4144710

[DJ MacWoW]

"Stephanie needs a reminder about just WHO it was that started "ScAmdy".

WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts)
I'm pretty upset right now, and I need an explanation Posted on Tue May-17-05 01:09 PM by WilliamPitt

Andy is apparently a hell of a lot less ill than I and others were led to believe, and I need some answers.

[DJ MacWoW]

I know I'm stating the obvious but it's hysterical that they're all crying "OMG! It IS a Freeper!" and don't realise they just proved Pitt lied when he said: Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.. He REPEATEDLY claims you to be a known DUer. LOL!!!

Thanks for the fun. It always a scream when you poke your ant farm with a sharp stick!

[Charles Henrickson]

BOUNCER FROM NEW ORLEANS
Tune: "City of New Orleans"

Writing 'bout a bouncer from New Orleans,
Plenty of Pitt--ain't no one I love more!
Pass the made-up facts in with the twaddle,
Full of Will's rambling speech galore.
Mid the grunts of barroom bouncers
And the sounds from here in Cheers,
Still my brilliance echoes through the rooms!
DUmmies with their minds asleep
Are buying all the crap I sweep--
This yarn's got the scent of certain barnyard fumes!

Good making DUmmieland my barroom!
Don't you know me, I'm so full of it!
I'm the guy who uses bouncers from New Orleans,
I'll be gone five hundred lines 'cause I'm Willie Pitt!

[Adam Wood]

OK, I see where you have found that one particular thread ("I have a question"). I did find a treasure trove of other A.N.S.W.E.R. material, too. There are a couple of circumstances in which Pitt at least an A.N.S.W.E.R. apologist.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4878636

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4871085

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4871239

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4871335

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4875107

And, there is a whole plethora of them linked up here:

http://www.conservativeunderground.com/forum/search.php?searchid=615847&pp=25&page=17

Looks like Will decided to carefully step around any mention of direct contact with A.N.S.W.E.R., but it's pretty hard to believe that he could be that close to them, apologize for and excuse them that much, and be as deeply involved in this whole rally/protest scene and not have had some sort of contact with them.

[Incorrigible]

LOL!!! Scamdy redux!

[CAluvdubya]

Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

Goodboy is that you?? It sure sounds like you!

[Charles Henrickson]

In the shadow of staggering assholes

That must be the Kennedy clan, staggering out of some Beantown watering hole.

[Charles Henrickson]

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

Or maybe his failed June DSM rally, or maybe. . . .

[Charles Henrickson]

OOPS, PJ, I just put you in Bolshevik Red! Like Pitt, I must be confusing you with a DUmmie.

[Petronski]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Good grief, what a moron! Millions of businesses large and small will thrive or fail on the basis of telephone calls from random strangers.]

[Charles Henrickson]

I will not repeat it . . .

But soon you will recant it.

I don't know if this person is a banned former member . . .

Or a former band member.

but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous.

You mean benburch?