DUmmie FUnnies 12-29-05 ("The post impeachment administration: Powell-Gore?")

The only thing more bizarre than the DUmmie THREAD featured in the DUmmie FUnnies this morning where the DUmmies fantasized about a reality-challenged scenario where Bush gets chimpeached is this DUmmie THREAD titled, "The post impeachment administration: Powell-Gore?" As you might have surmised from the title, the DUmmies are already assuming the fantasy of a chimpeachment and are now planning on the makeup of the post-chimpeachment administration. Colin Powell isn't even in government any more but that small fact doesn't seem to interfere with the DUmmie fantasy as you shall see. Even more bizarre is that Powell would somehow choose Al Gore to be his vice-president. But wait, DUmmies! Why stop there? I mean since we are in your Alternate Reality, wouldn't Powell say to himself that Gore was really elected in 2000 and then meekly step aside and let Gore take over the presidency? As usual, the DUmmie Fantasies being channeled from the Alternate Universe are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, envisioning my own Alternate Reality of Petra Verkaik and Salma Hayek battling it out in a hotel room over who gets first dibs at my body, is in the [brackets]:

I believe that if the Democrats take the House after the mid term congressional elections, there will be an impeachment. Moreover, the Democratic majority will give cover to disgruntled Republicans to join the impeachment effort.

[How kind of you to give cover to the disgruntled Republicans of the Alternate Universe.]

However, we have to keep in mind that it is almost a certainty that impeachment will not change Republican party control of the executive branch. This is because the outgoing president will control the appointment of a vice president.

As during the Nixon administration, once Congress decides that impeachment is a real possibility, they will first have to force out a corrupt vice president -- then Agnew, today Cheney. It is inconceivable that Congress would impeach Bush, but allow the author and instigator of most of his crimes, Cheney, to assume the presidency.

[And don't forget Denny Hastert. We must get rid of him too! Plus everybody down to about the 145th level of succession.]

This raises an important question for Democrats: Who will be the post impeachment president and vice president?

[Why ask the Democrats? They have NO input as to the post chimpeachment president and vice president.]

Almost all the Republicans in the administration and the Senate are simply too tainted either by the crimes of the administration or corruption in Congress. Both parties' leaders will be trying to clean house, signal a move by the Republicans from the extreme fringe right policy positions and send a message to the international community that the US is ready to return to the "reality based" international community -- all in the same appointment.

Frankly, the only viable Republicans are John McCain and Colin Powell, and given the international crisis that Bush has created, Powell is the far more likely candidate.

[Thanx for just killing McCain's primary election chances in '08. Any "Republican" considered "viable" by the DUmmies needs to be prevented from getting the presidential nomination by REAL Republicans.]

At this point, however, because of the unprecedented fiscal, military and international challenges the federal government will face, Democrats need to insist on some kind of "government of national unity" -- in other words, the appointment of a Democratic vice president. The only Democrat with the stature to be vice president under those circumstances is Al Gore, both because of his experience as vice president and because he actually won the popular vote in 2000.

[This fantasy scenario will only happen with the proper astological alignment. Namely Uranus must be aligned in front of your face.]

You may disagree with this analysis and proposed administration, but I hope you'll agree that it's time for progressive Democrats to look ahead and begin planning for the post-Bush administration.

[How about the more modest goal of planning for your institutionalization, DUmmie HamdenRice ? And now on to the other DUmmie comments...]

powell is an asshole solidly in the bush pocket and the world knows he is a liar who likes to advance his own interests ... existing patriotic feelings in powell? NONE! so, why get rid of an asshole to put in place another asshole? sorry for the foul language. i have no other way to express my utter contempt for powell.

[Nice to see you get all worked up over a fantasy that WON'T be happening in this Reality.]

I don't disagree at all ... but the point is, that the Republicans will control the successor to Bush-Cheney. Powell lied about the war, but he has bee furiously apologizing and leaking his embarrassment ever since he left office. Surely you can see he is positioning himself for the succession?

[Yeah. Powell has nothing better to do with his time than planning for a DUmmie Fantasy scenario that WON'T be happening.]

republicans would never vote for GORE and on principle GORE should not stand with any republican in a ticket nor take second place to it. he would be another asshole if he, for a second time, would willingly accommodate the assholes.

After all this national trauma, would you prefer .... Powell-McCain? Or Powell-Santorum? If we are going to control a post-Bush administration, I think we need someone in at a very high level.

i am not dreamin' republicans are not going to let go of power and control and without the bush machine to act as their backbone...neither sanctoroom nor mackane have the charisma to do what bush has done...unless they are using diebold machines, i have the feeling that even with those two running the country, much of democracy would return to these shores. although, i may be totally wrong.

[Or totally deluded for extending even the least bit of credibility to this thread.]

The succession to the presidency is defined...I don't think your scenario accounts for the fact that the Constitution was amended to provide a clearly defined succession of the Presidency. How is your scenario going to get around the 25 amendment?

[By leaning back, closing his eyes, and clicking his heels together three times while wishing real hard.]

I guess the OP thinks it would go like this: Dubya is impeached and removed from office. Cheney becomes President and appoints a VP, say, Powell Cheney is then impeached and removed from office. Powell becomes President and appoints a new VP.

However, Bush will not be removed by the impeachment process. That is just a pipe dream.

I printed out his conversation and it took FOUR pages. Four pages of DETAILED quotes from at least a day earlier.

Keep in mind that of those four pages of quotes, approximately 3.75 come from PITT HIMSELF. The quotes from "Ty" consist mainly of "Yep," "That ain't right," "OK," and "Shoot."

Pitt probably does memorize everything he himself says, since it is all so memorable.

Personally, I think Pitt probably did have SOME sort of "conversation" with "Ty," although undoubtedly enhanced for our reading pleasure. Also remember that Pitt is constantly on the lookout for material to fill his blog. When this little "conversation" looked like it might develop into fodder for his column, the little "Record" button went on in Pitt's brain.

common,

it has been quite some time now, but there is no Christopher Parker at JH. I find the following Parker's:

Abby, Althea, Angus, Ann, Audrey, Chad, Charles, Charlotte, Cindy, Cinque, Claire, Darryl, David, Dominoque, Donna, Douglas, Elizabeth, Erica, Erika, Florenc (which I'm figuring is Florence), Glenda, Harlan, Ian, Jared, Jonathon, Julia, Karen, Kevin, Kimberly, LaTosha, Laura, Lauren, Lisa, Mary, Nathan, Noita, Richard, Rodger, Ross, Sara, Sharone, Stephen, and Dale Parker-Brown.

No Christopher...although, when i first saw the name i thought of Christopher Robin.

Pitt's now posted a thread about you calling but he thinks you're a former DU member who has been banned.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5714135

"WilliamPitt (1000+ posts) Fri Dec-30-05 02:12 AM
Original message
In the shadow of staggering assholes
Edited on Fri Dec-30-05 02:23 AM by WilliamPitt

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

===

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

Well.

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to fuck with this guy at work.

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

Why?

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherfuckers calling me at work. Fuck off."

Now here's the funny part.

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to fuck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

I told him to fuck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

Morals:

1. I don't lie in my essays;

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

3. Don't fuck with my friends;

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so fucking with Ty is a bad idea;

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to fuck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

Awesome.

Assholes everywhere."

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