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DUmmie FUnnies 09-07-05 ("I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 7, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/07/2005 3:37:18 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

I bet some of you have occasionally tried to describe the level of insanity of the DUmmies to your skeptical friends. Perhaps they can't believe that anybody could be as nutty as you describe. If so, then perhaps you should refer them to this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why." As you will see, the level of DUmmie HATRED of George Bush has gone even beyond psychopathic levels. In fact the author of this particular thread, DUmmie DistressedAmerican, needs to not only consult with a shrink, but needs to be paid a little visit from the Secret Service. As usual, the psychopathic DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, mopping rabid DUmmie foam off the floor, is in the [brackets]:

I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why.

[WARNING! PATHETIC PSYCHOPATHIC RANT TO FOLLOW!]

Bush still breathes.
Bush still stands.
Bush still walks.
Bush still has power.
Bush is still rich.
Bush's parents also still doing all of the above.
IN SHORT:
Bush has not been SMOTE!
Any God worth his salt would have killed the bastard and his entire evil family years ago. I think a bolt of lightening would do the job quite nicely.
OK, Maybe I am wrong. Maybe He does exist but fears we will invade heaven of he rids us of this evil, sociopath! If this is indeed the case:
God, Now is your time. They still haven't the resources to come after you. Strike him down! Show me some of that old shool (testament) WRATH!

[If you think the rage of DUmmie DistressedAmerican is beyond belief now, imagine how it will be when he finds himself screaming this stuff at the prison walls. He is flat out calling for the murder of the President. A federal crime.]

Well, He works in mysterious ways, you know.... Maybe the smiting is just around the corner.

[DUmmie Ron_Green in a hopeful mood.]

I believe the disaster was proof enough Either God is a useless observer like all of us, incompetent and without any power to stop horrible things from happening, or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen for his/her own reason and we are meant to suffer for them ignorant of why.I really don't know how else to think of it. I'm sure many will be upset with these thoughts but really truly, without saying any "He works in mysterious ways" nonsense how can you say that there is some deity in charge worthy of love and worship? God is love? Well god let people die all over the South. No prayers were answered by the people who begged for mercy and continue to beg.

[A DUmmie "theologian" weighs in.]

Here's how I knew - Crimson Tide. I knew there was no 'God' (as taught to me by our culture, anyway) when I realized that a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month in order to be fertile. WTF is THAT about?!Doesn't sound like intelligent design to me.I can't wait until it is scientifically eradicated. I suspect this has been possible for decades, but, for some reason, our little birth control packets still mercifully allow 7 blank days so our Aunt from Alabama can come to visit.If this god was so intelligent, we would just have an egg sit there until it got fertilized, not be shed every month. Nevermind the whole concept. Until I realized how you got pregnant, I thought women just *decided* when they would have a baby, and that was all that was necessary. Understandably, I have been a little miffed at 'nature' since.

[I have to give this DUmmie atheist credit for creativity. First time I ever heard of someone becoming an atheist because of menstruation.]

If God wants all the credit and adoration. Then he can bloody well pitch in like the rest of us. When the least of us -- the poor, the elderly, the babies -- have to pay with their lives for the failure of government or someone else's sins, that's just mindlessly cruel. If there are consequences then perhaps its time for those in charge to start paying them.

[So who do you blame for Hurricane Katrina. God or Bush? Probably both.]

Bush is the entire reason that I don't believe in Karma

[Because you always end up as the DUmmie Coyote as the Bush RoadRunner leaves you in his dust. BEEP! BEEP!]

Tell God I Have Been Workig My Ass Off To Rid Us Of This Guy. Time for Him to help me. I'm helping myself.Where is my backup?

[Windsurfing off Nantucket.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antichristian; atheism; atheists; bushhaters; callawaaambulance; dummies; god; neworleansblame; religion; religiousintolerance; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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To: PJ-Comix
O..M..G..

or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen for his/her own reason and we are meant to suffer for them ignorant of why.

These DUmmies now believe that God LIHOPS and MIHOPS! FUNNY!

BUSH'S FAULT
101 posted on 09/08/2005 6:41:30 AM PDT by Eagle of Liberty (BUSH'S FAULT!)
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To: Ditter

You could go simple:

BushSuX
IlikeCats
BlueManRedState
Mud
LIHOPme
Gimme

If you do sign up, let me know. I'll look for you.


102 posted on 09/08/2005 6:57:22 AM PDT by Eagle of Liberty (BUSH'S FAULT!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Doesn't it bother you at all that everyone in this room has to put up with your DAMN phone conversation."

Thank you, PJ! I'm sure everyone else wanted to say something, but didn't have the guts to! You're awesome.

103 posted on 09/08/2005 7:39:49 AM PDT by arizonarachel (finally married...to F7OShawn...)
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To: PJ-Comix
It's just sad how many of these loonies will set up their own standards of what "any God worth his salt..." should do. Is there any higher form of hubris than to declare what God should do??? Then, when things don't go the way they have declared they should, this is presented as conclusive evidence against His existence. Doesn't it really just prove, conclusively, that you aren't God?
104 posted on 09/08/2005 8:11:45 AM PDT by TChris ("The central issue is America's credibility and will to prevail" - Goh Chok Tong)
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To: PJ-Comix

Documented proof that the detritus who populate DU are as skilled in theology as they are in economics.


105 posted on 09/08/2005 9:09:35 AM PDT by wideawake (God bless our brave troops and their Commander in Chief)
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To: PJ-Comix
Could you please add me to your ping list. DUmmie FUnnies is the funniest thing on FR! Thanks PJ.
106 posted on 09/08/2005 9:20:36 AM PDT by chapin2500
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To: PJ-Comix

Death penalty is too kind for the library cell perp.

Lock 'em up and make them listen to 10 random phone calls at the same time, over and over again. No wait, that would be unconstitutional as cruel and unusual punishment.

BTW, I was on a short vacation last month, without internet access. I didn't read or can't remember what happened with your home computer.

Bite the dust, did it? Maybe the computer committed electronic hari-kari because it couldn't handle having to process all the DUmmy material that you have to sift through to generate your great DUmmie FUnnies?


107 posted on 09/08/2005 9:24:40 AM PDT by BillF (Fight terrorists in Iraq & elsewhere, instead of waiting for them to come to America!)
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To: alarm rider
I just want to be informed when the feds shut DU down, or when there is a rash of head explosions, migration or suicides. Please ping me, I have a good bottle of wine waiting

I'll have the wood for the fire piled high, and the pig in the ground, beer in the keg and marshmallows for the roasting. Everyone is welcome!

108 posted on 09/08/2005 10:39:17 AM PDT by dirtbiker (If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans....)
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To: Charles Henrickson
God is love? Well god let people die all over the South.

God also helps those who help themselves. I dont believe God commanded those people to sit on their "brains" and stare into the teeth of a approaching Cat. IV hurricane....

109 posted on 09/08/2005 10:51:02 AM PDT by dirtbiker (If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans....)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Moody Monthly" Not to mention, it was in the periodical section.

Man, to quote a great, Southern humorist, the late Lewis Grizzard, "Damn, Brother! I don't believe I'd told that!"

110 posted on 09/08/2005 11:02:50 AM PDT by dirtbiker ("..fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction" Prov 1:7)
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To: PJ-Comix

Their rant against God leaves me very angry and sad at the same time.


111 posted on 09/08/2005 12:23:53 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: Charles Henrickson

I wondered how you would respond. I knew it would be good. Ü


112 posted on 09/08/2005 12:27:41 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: Charles Henrickson

"A merciful God would not make men have to live with women who grouse about their period. "

ROTFLOL!!!!


113 posted on 09/08/2005 12:35:40 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: Charles Henrickson
Definitely a classic. I love the peeved body language of the second contestant.

By the way, if you like Far Side, you might check out Jerry Van Amerongen's In The Neighborhood series.

114 posted on 09/08/2005 12:41:43 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: CAluvdubya; PJ-Comix; franksolich; Charles Henrickson

"They also like to blab loudly on their cell phones in the ICU of a hospital. This is how you can tell they're DUmmies....the rules are not meant for them!"

...AND they sing show tunes loudly on their cell phones in the ICU. That, in and of itself, should be a crime!


115 posted on 09/08/2005 1:40:14 PM PDT by Purrcival (All of those evacuees, and the DUmmies could only get 200 to protest in front of the White House?)
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To: Jaxter

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #725.


116 posted on 09/08/2005 2:54:14 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: txradioguy

Are you sure the DUmmie you met was Distressed American? How do you know his DUmmie name?


117 posted on 09/08/2005 3:01:46 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: arizonarachel

Last week it was worse. Some guy was on a financial website and then called up somebody with that company and discussed his finances with them. And he did it at FULL BLAST! Absolutely no attempt to whisper. Then after the call the guy turns to me and asks me to help him on another website about cars. I just shot him the look of death.


118 posted on 09/08/2005 3:05:59 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: chapin2500

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #726.


119 posted on 09/08/2005 3:07:39 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: BillF

Somebody I know will be building me a super duper computer next month. Then I can start Podcasting and perhaps Vodcasting.


120 posted on 09/08/2005 3:08:47 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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