Posted on 07/13/2005 6:49:18 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
DUmmie Fantasy threads are among my faves. I mean who can forget the comedic entertainment of the many many “I BELEEEEEVE” threads where the DUmmies fervently declared “I BELEEEEVE that John Kerry will be inaugurated president on Jan. 20?” More recently there was a thread where they speculated that Al Gore is our president in another universe. And now we have this fantasy THREAD titled, “If you could wish for one single ‘Miracle’ what would that be?” What is really great about this fantasy thread, is that it is not limited to just one bizarre fantasy. The DUmmies give free reign to their imaginations to come up with many miraculous fantasies. So let us now enjoy the spectacle of DUmmies ardently trying to conjure up miracles in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, mumbling “abra cadabra,” is in the [brackets]:
If you could wish for one single "Miracle" what would that be?
[My wish for a single miracle would be that on Election Day, the exit polls show that Kerry would win in a landslide, thus causing the DUmmies to jubilantly celebrate prematurely. However, a few hours later the exit polls would be proven to be wrong because Bush actually wins the election which causes the DUmmies to go into a depressive tailspin when the rug is pulled out from under them. I know this miracle is a big stretch but you said I could at least wish for one.]
Mine would be the political resurrection of Brother Al Gore in 2006-2008...Say Amen Somebody!!!
[HALLELUJAH!!! I PRAY FOR THE RESURRECTION OF AL “HE BETRAYED US” GORE!!!]
Say I BELIEEEVE that...only AL can SAVE us now...I BELIEEEVE we in America could use some Truth and some Light for a CHANGE...I BELIEEEVE that...that ole DEVIL(KKKarl-zee-bub)is out to smite Move on.org...because he thinks that in so doing, he can drive a political stake into Al Gore's heart for allllll eternity...Keep in mind dear friends, brothers and sisters, that...The bad guys always fear and want to destroy the good guys...Always Have...Always Will...Let's all sing 'Shall we gather at the voter registration office'
[I BEEELEEEVE!!! OH YES, I BELEEEEVE!!! BRING ON THE SNAKE CHARMERS!!!]
KKKarl has a bad habit of trying to destroy anyone, or anything, that threatens to derail the neocon's grand plans...Folks like Howard Dean, Joe Wilson and Al Gore! Now I guess it's Move On's turn to be cast into the lake of lies. Karl want's to get even with Move On...Just like He Tried to Get Even Of Joe Wilson's wife. There is a pattern there...I BELIEEEEVE!
[I BEEEELEEEEVE THAT KARL ROVE IS SATAN!!!!]
GORE/DEAN in 2008!!!!!!!
[And the weird thing is that is ALSO my miracle wish for the Democrat ticket in 2008. And now let us hear about the miracles desired by the rest of your fellow DUmmies…]
Mine would be all of Bushco behind bars, never to be resurrected again! EVER! That would be miracle enough for me, I could die a happy woman.
[Prepare yourself for a sad death.]
The miracle I wish for is the impeachment of Bush, Cheney, and the rest of his administration. An impeachment so gruesome that it would scar the GOP for decades to come and lead to an era of progressive prosperity like that of the 30s-60s.
[You would need ANOTHER miracle to make the Depression years of the 1930s an era of “progressive prosperity.”]
I BELIEEEEEEVE...We are bound for the promised land! If the truth ever be told!
[HALLELUJAH!!! I SEEEEE THE PROMISED LAND! JUST OVER THAT HILL!!! I SEEEEE PYONYANG!!!]
I got down on my hands and knees...and asked the almighty for a sign that America is turning away from the ways of sins, from refusing to read, from watching FOX NEWS, form listening to Limbaugh, from refusing to use what you gave them, oh Lord, somebody give me an Amen, from refusing to use their God given common sense. Brothers and Sisters help me help these people who are so depraved, lead by the Bush Enterprises. Can I get witness? Give me a Hallelujah. Mercy me, I am so excited that the Neocons are being rejected by more and more people. I gotta jump up and holler, Lord, help me.
[HALLELUJAH!!! I got down and my hands and knees and prayed to the Almighty for the American public to close their eyes and ears to any information contrary to the DNC talking points.]
I do honestly believe, that Shrub was the "major calamity" that all the old seers and prophets predicted for the new millennium. We almost made it through the year 2000 without a major disaster, until December of 2000, when the SCOTUS awarded Al Gore's job to Bush. We got a millennium chimp in 2000 instead of the millennium bug.
[As predicted in the book of DUmmie Revelations---the Millennium Beast Chimp shall rule in Darkness for all Eternity.]
My wish would be for a healthy baby, and a healthy world for her to live in, in about six months from now.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
To win the lotto and move to somewhere safe. Prefer a place where I can have my bare butt swatted with palm leaves by half naked hula girls...
[Leave off the part about naked hula girls and palm leaves and you describe about 95% of the male DUmmie fantasies.]
Half naked hula guys for me.
[No surprise there DUmmie Gay Green.]
Justice would mean waking up tomorrow morning in a sweat. I look around me and my husband is gone to work. My sons come in and give me a great big hug and I make my way to the kitchen to get breakfast. I see a note on the table and it is from my wonderful spouse. I read it and it says, "You fell asleep last night before the votes were counted - Gore won!" Then I look at the newspaper and sure enough he did win. All of this had been but a dream.
[Good news! Gore DID win in an alternate universe. Didn’t you read the DUmmie thread on this very topic?]
painless 95% reduction in human population
[Let me guess, DUmmie natrat. You consider yourself one of the elite 5% who will not be part of that “painless reduction.”]
O Lord ...Call down your vengeance upon the liars and the speakers of false doctrine. Let them be sealed in the whited sepulchers of their own iniquity never to see the light of your countenance. Let those who speak of righteous and do not practice it be cast into the everlasting lake of the burning brimstone. Let their tongues shrivel and their loins grow barren. Let them know fully the wrath of the one they have maligned with their vile preachings and may they serve as a perpetual warning toward those who presume to know the mind of g-d.
[WOW! You really don’t like Muslims, do you?]
Sometimes I think the Devil himself is in my keyboard boggling my mind a-purpose! Praise the big skeery guy way up yonder past them clouds, that they had plenty of good cold draft beer at the El Toro Lounge today. I CAN FEEEEEEEEEEL THE CHANGE...when I wrap my parched old lips around a couple of ice cold pitchers of brew! I really do think it's a miracle that you can get a gallon of draft beer, or a gallon of high octane gas, for the same price now, down there at the stop and go drive through! MYYYYY, MYYYY, MYYYYY...But don't the Lawd Works in some gaul danged Mysterious ways sometimes?
[HALLELUJAH!!! HE HAS WRAPPED HIS PARCHED OLD LIPS AROUND A COUPLE OF ICE COLD PITCHERS OF BREW AND HAS SEEEEEEN THE VISIONS!!!]
Retroactive infertility for Prescott Bush. Imagine a world with no Bush twins. No W. No Jeb. No Neil. Laura Bush as a school librarian. No G.W. Bush. Barbara in a trailer home somewhere. Damn, imagine it. Talk about a better world.
[Hmmm… I’m thinking here that we need to come up with new lyrics for John Lennon’s “Imagine” song.]
That the last 5 years were all just a horrible dream...
[It was…..in the Alternate Reality.]
Anyway, my miracle.. I guess I'd have to go with an impeachment of Bush and his cronies, followed by embarrassed retirement of the rest of his administration, subsequent investigations into all allegations against them, revealing the vote fraud in the 2004 election, and installing Kerry in the white house as a result.
[SIGH! To install Kerry in the White House following a Bush impeachment, you would need ANOTHER miracle to retroactively change the constitution for a different line of succession. But don’t feel bad. Your error is a COMMON DUmmie fantasy.]
Mine would be that all religion would suddenly dissappear because, without religion, there is peace
[With the exception of Islam, THE religion of peace.]
the cast was great.
and one of thier names does not reflect the DUmpster.
Slim Pickens. :-D
B-52 pilot who rides the bomb that won't release... apparently setting off the Russian Doomsday Machine.
George C Scott was great as the General who explains to the President how a B-52 could possibly get through the Russian radar and defences. He's actually rooting for the pilot (Slim Pickens) until it dawns on him that if he's successfull, it means the end of the world.
These people are nuts. Period. What a window into a mind-numbing alternate universe.
Be Seeing You,
Chris
THAT'S AL GORE?????
Geez, he's really porked out, hasn't he? I didn't even recognize him.
Al Gore aka....Big Boy
You know - it's all Bush's Fault!
;-)
DD
looks more like this:
looks more like this:
Very good!!!!
All of you posting pictures of that white whale just stop it right now. That is gross. He should never be in public without his tent. Argggggggggggggggg
Sorry for yelling in my previous post. I just re-read it and realized how annoying the CAPS were even though I was trying to use them to make a point.
Boo-Yah!!! Comment of the day!!!
BTTT
I would wish that the U.S. Olympic Hockey team would spank the Soviets, prompting the crowd to chant "USA! USA!," thereby ushering in total world domination by the United States. Oh wait, that already happened...
Mine would be the political resurrection of Brother Al Gore in 2006-2008...Say Amen Somebody!!!
Oh yay-yes, a Dem party led by Howard Dean with Al Gore as their nominee...I can say amen to that! We'd win 49 states! Oh wait, Gore couldn't get Tennessee in 2000, so I guess we'd win all 50! Amen!
Say I BELIEEEVE that...only AL can SAVE us now...I BELIEEEVE we in America could use some Truth and some Light for a CHANGE...
Actually, I think you guys would turn to dust if exposed to light. That's not a vampire reference, I just think you've been in your Moms' basements so long that you've undergone a deep biological change...and it may explain your brain chemistry issues.
The bad guys always fear and want to destroy the good guys...
"Let's take Fred Grady pheasant hunting..."--DUmmie benburch.
...that ole DEVIL(KKKarl-zee-bub)
KKKarl
From a parody "George Soros" ad on Rush Limbaugh today: "And Rove spells Karl with a 'K', just like the Klan." Art imitates life.
KKKarl has a bad habit of trying to destroy anyone, or anything, that threatens to derail the neocon's grand plans...
And he's going to get your little dog, too.
Folks like Howard Dean, Joe Wilson and Al Gore!
The screaming foot-mouthed hatemogering moron, the liar who tried to flim-flam the public and government on a national security issue in a time of war, and the guy who was coming off "eight years of peace and prosperity" and couldn't even carry his own home state. Yeah, Karl had to work really hard to screw up their careers. He was working especially hard when he "destroyed" Joe Wilson by telling the truth about him. One shudders to think of it.
Now I guess it's Move On's turn to be cast into the lake of lies. Karl want's to get even with Move On...Just like He Tried to Get Even Of Joe Wilson's wife.
Yes, you're so right, you're converting me! The evil demon Karl got even with her (for behavior that may be treason) by the horrible method of mentioning she works at the CIA! Oh, the horror! Can no one save us from this great evil?
There is a pattern there...I BELIEEEEVE!
A pattern of you guys believing pretty much anything.
GORE/DEAN in 2008!!!!!!!
I can not imagine a better ticket. And you can bet your butt I'm not joking this time. I would salivate at the prospect of almost any Republican going up against these two clowns.
Mine would be all of Bushco behind bars, never to be resurrected again!
That would actually fall under "fantasies about railroading," not "miracles." Choo Choo to you!
The miracle I wish for is the impeachment of Bush, Cheney, and the rest of his administration.
The impeachment of an innocent GOP administration by a GOP Congress would be a supernatural event, but more like demonic possession than a miracle.
I got down on my hands and knees...and asked the almighty for a sign that America is turning away from the ways of sins, from refusing to read, from watching FOX NEWS, form listening to Limbaugh, from refusing to use what you gave them, oh Lord, somebody give me an Amen, from refusing to use their God given common sense.
People will be more free if the government controls their lives, steals their wealth and persecutes those of them who take their religion seriously...well, if that ain't common sense, I don't know what is!
Mercy me, I am so excited that the Neocons are being rejected by more and more people.
Oh...so that's why the President's approval rating has gone up, all that rejection.
I do honestly believe, that Shrub was the "major calamity" that all the old seers and prophets predicted for the new millennium.
"My political enemy is a world-swallowing evil prophesied for thousands of years!" Gee, no egoism there...
We almost made it through the year 2000 without a major disaster, until December of 2000, when the SCOTUS awarded Al Gore's job to Bush. We got a millennium chimp in 2000 instead of the millennium bug.
You will pay for your insolence! All must love the War Monkey King, our lauded Emperor, CHIMPUS KHAN!!!
My wish would be for a healthy baby, and a healthy world for her to live in, in about six months from now.
I don't have the heart to tell this woman she'll almost certainly be a conservative five years from now. Either that, or her kid's in trouble, because DUmmies are not grownups.
To win the lotto and move to somewhere safe. Prefer a place where I can have my bare butt swatted with palm leaves by half naked hula girls...
[Leave off the part about naked hula girls and palm leaves and you describe about 95% of the male DUmmie fantasies.]
Leave off "my bare butt swatted with palm leaves by" and you describe about 95% of the male FReeper's fantasies.
Justice would mean waking up tomorrow morning in a sweat. I look around me and my husband is gone to work. My sons come in and give me a great big hug and I make my way to the kitchen to get breakfast. I see a note on the table and it is from my wonderful spouse. I read it and it says, "You fell asleep last night before the votes were counted - Gore won!" Then I look at the newspaper and sure enough he did win. All of this had been but a dream.
She left off the part about finding Patrick Duffy in her shower because she's afraid her husband might read the DUFUs. Also, it would be a short-lived reality, because on 9/11, President Gore would resign, change his name to Frieda and run to Rio de Janeiro.
painless 95% reduction in human population
But don't forget, they're the mainstream, and we're the freakish cruel fringe types who care nothing for our fellow man. BTW, did you notice that the DUmmie who says this uses Conyers as his avatar (Conyers must be so proud he's worshipped by a guy who wants 5.7 billion people to drop dead) and that the only response by the ever compassionate DUmmies is to accuse Bush of trying to kill that same 5.7 billion people? But hey, like I said, they're the mainstream...
O Lord ...Call down your vengeance upon the liars and the speakers of false doctrine.
Why does this guy want all the religious DUers to be smited?
Let them know fully the wrath of the one they have maligned with their vile preachings and may they serve as a perpetual warning toward those who presume to know the mind of g-d.
OK...so it's wrong to believe you know how God feels about something and in fact it deserves Hell, but you presume to know that God doesn't like us and our way of thinking and worshipping, and that's OK because you're you and you're special. Suuuuure. BTW, wouldn't it be cool if God saved us the danger of getting it wrong by providing us with some indication of His thinking, like, oh, I dunno, a book? We could give it a nice, simple title like "The Holy Bible."
Sometimes I think the Devil himself is in my keyboard boggling my mind a-purpose!
"But then i take my lithium and it goes away."
I really do think it's a miracle that you can get a gallon of draft beer, or a gallon of high octane gas, for the same price now, down there at the stop and go drive through!
I really think it's a mircle you've been that stupid and lived this long.
Retroactive infertility for Prescott Bush. Imagine a world with no Bush twins. No W. No Jeb. No Neil. Laura Bush as a school librarian. No G.W. Bush. Barbara in a trailer home somewhere. Damn, imagine it. Talk about a better world.
Dang, imagine staying on your meds. Talk about being less of a freakshow.
That the last 5 years were all just a horrible dream...
"...and Patrick Duffy is in my shower, all lathery..."
Mine would be that all religion would suddenly dissappear because, without religion, there is peace
Yes, of course! The people murdered by Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Tito, Ceaucescu, Ho Chi Minh, Pol Pot and Castro in their godless states are all very peaceful these days, nary a peep is heard from them!
Ah, but Joe's victims know how the Book ends.
C'mon, what's to be shcoked about? He only thinks the world would be improved by 5.7 billion deaths, what's so extreme about that?
Go over and look at the original DUmmie thread, and you'll see that the only DUmmie response to this guy wanting to wipe out 95% of the human race is a guy accusing Bush of trying to do the same thing. And they wonder why nobody listens to them even in the Dem party.
Indeed. My miracle would be for everyone to become a follower of Christ, not from God making them robots, but just a removal of the veil that keeps them from seeing. And from that would follow an end to poverty and most non-medical suffering, all crime, all war...I could never imagine picking a particular presidential ticket as my one miracle. Yeesh.
And be replaced by Evan Bayh in a Speedo.
Yep. The only way their plan would work is if all .3 billion survivors were in a single geographical area, and life would only stay comforttable if the area was a place where lots of technicians and infrastructure already exist. Hey, wait a minute...300 million people with high tech infrastructure? My God, the DUmmies want to kill everyone but the U.S. and Canada! Xenophobic fiends!
Oh, forgot to mention...darn fine analysis there.
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