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DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/13/2005 7:35:58 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take? Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism
Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis
Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis
Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives
Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med
Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps
I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful
Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis
Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:
migraine prophylaxis:
singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)
petadolex (an herb)
co-q10
migraine prn:
zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)
stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)
allergy prophylaxis:
nasonex
allergy prn:
semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain
flexeril- 50-60mg daily
prednisone- 10mg every other day
ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:
Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral
As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma
Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down) Cymbalta (an SSRI)
Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)
Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)
I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.

Doctor shopping?

221 posted on 06/13/2005 6:18:34 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Purrcival

Yep. That's what it is derived from. Is your dosage 1.25 or 2.5 milligrams?


222 posted on 06/13/2005 6:20:55 PM PDT by Morgan's Raider
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To: Knitting A Conundrum
Wow, my one St. Joseph's 81 mg aspirin, is going to seem tame to them
223 posted on 06/13/2005 6:21:15 PM PDT by mware ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche........ "Nope, you are"-- GOD)
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To: Morgan's Raider

I'm not taking it...yet. But eeeewwwwwww!


224 posted on 06/13/2005 6:22:17 PM PDT by Purrcival (Democrats in power are dangerous. Democrats out of power are pathetic and funny.)
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To: gate2wire
Now that I have your attention, I was given a bottle of Glenfiddich in 1992. It is still in it's black cylinder container. What do you think?

My first question is where are you?

Seriously, from everything I have read, once it is bottled it doesn't age any more. The aging process has to be done in wood casks. But a word to the wise, if you decide to open it and drink it, shake it up real good first. If it has been undisturbed there are certain compounds known as 'amines' that are somewhat poisonous and they are lighter than the rest of the whiskey and will rise to the top. The first shot will be loaded with it and can make you sick and cause a very bad hangover. This advice given by my Organic Chem Prof (who was running a still in the lab ... pretty good stuff).

225 posted on 06/13/2005 6:22:30 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: gate2wire
I thought of that because of the song "Feed Jake". I have a dachshund named Jake...
226 posted on 06/13/2005 6:22:49 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

SCAMDY looks good for someone on his death bed.


227 posted on 06/13/2005 6:25:02 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of FReepers...)
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To: dirtbiker; gate2wire

No dogs in our family (except my mother-in-law's spoiled cocker spaniel). I thought of it because of Blake Shelton's song about Ol' Red.


228 posted on 06/13/2005 6:26:05 PM PDT by Purrcival (Democrats in power are dangerous. Democrats out of power are pathetic and funny.)
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To: gate2wire
Sounds like a country song" Yeah, but it doesn't say anything about Mama, or trains, or trucks, or prison...

If you play a country song backwards you: get paroled, get your truck back, sober up, get your wife back, and get your dog back

229 posted on 06/13/2005 6:26:26 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN

I'm a beer drinker myself but noticed you and PJ discussing scotch. No date given on the container but it says "Special Reserve" at the top, "First distilled on Christmas Day 1887" near the bottom. Should I open the container? LOL.


230 posted on 06/13/2005 6:27:36 PM PDT by gate2wire (We Honor Those Who Serve---WE REMEMBER--Thank you)
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To: dirtbiker; Purrcival

The line about Mama, trains, et al is from a song by David Allen Coe, written by Steve Goodman-"You never even call me by my name."


231 posted on 06/13/2005 6:30:35 PM PDT by gate2wire (We Honor Those Who Serve---WE REMEMBER--Thank you)
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To: dirtbiker
so I took one. I was sick to my stomach for a day and a half! "F" the pills, the pain was easier to take!
same thing happened to me w/ the crushed vertebrae...the pain was better than hurting and being sick to you stomach....I do have to be honest here...I take an antidepressant daily(I'm ADHD) but booze helped the back (with heat) better than any script.
232 posted on 06/13/2005 6:36:02 PM PDT by ReeWalker (Life isn't fair...GET USED TO IT!!!)
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To: gate2wire
No date given on the container but it says "Special Reserve"

Special Reserve is the 12 year old. They also make Selera Reserve 15 yr old (my choice) Anchient Reserve 18 yrs old and the 30 yr old

First distilled on Christmas Day 1887"

This isn't when it was distilled or bottled. This was when the distillery was built.

233 posted on 06/13/2005 6:40:36 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN
Anchient =Ancient.... sheesh
234 posted on 06/13/2005 6:43:30 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN

I didn't think it was distilled then, just trying to give you more info to tell me what I have here. LOL.
Thanks for your help. One day I may crack it open. Will remember your advice also.


235 posted on 06/13/2005 6:43:48 PM PDT by gate2wire (We Honor Those Who Serve---WE REMEMBER--Thank you)
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To: SCALEMAN

If it was distilled in 1887, would it still have a tax stamp. Only kidding.


236 posted on 06/13/2005 6:47:46 PM PDT by gate2wire (We Honor Those Who Serve---WE REMEMBER--Thank you)
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To: gate2wire
didn't think it was distilled then, just trying to give you more info to tell me what I have here

It was 12 yrs old when it was bottled. If someone gave it to you in '92 it was probably distilled in 79 and bottled in '91. Should be pretty smooth.

237 posted on 06/13/2005 6:47:49 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: ReeWalker

"the pain was better than hurting and being sick to you stomach."

Next time, ask for phenergan to go with the pain meds. It is for nausea. That is what I had to take after this last surgery because the Lortab was making me sick. It does make you drowsy. Mixing it with a narcotic will definitely let you get some sleep. LOL!


238 posted on 06/13/2005 6:49:48 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: gate2wire
One day I may crack it open. Will remember your advice also

Should be enjoyed neat or with a small amount of ice. I will wince if you say you are going to water it down, and will hunt you down if you mix it with anything.

239 posted on 06/13/2005 6:50:15 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN

"will hunt you down if you mix it with anything"

Don't worry, I promise not to.


240 posted on 06/13/2005 6:52:17 PM PDT by gate2wire (We Honor Those Who Serve---WE REMEMBER--Thank you)
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