DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take? Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism
Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis
Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis
Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives
Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med
Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps
I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful
Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis
Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:
migraine prophylaxis:
singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)
petadolex (an herb)
co-q10
migraine prn:
zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)
stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)
allergy prophylaxis:
nasonex
allergy prn:
semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain
flexeril- 50-60mg daily
prednisone- 10mg every other day
ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:
Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral
As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma
Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down) Cymbalta (an SSRI)
Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)
Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)
I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]

[decal]

Apparently there's not a pill out that cures stupid...

[Lx]

Soma (carisoprodol) is an excellent muscle relaxer. I've taken it when I hurt my back and it works wonders.

[Jackknife]

I spent today at Gettysburg.

Devil's Den is so beautiful this time of year!!!

[Purrcival]

NIGHT OF THE DU ZOMBIES . . . . . . . THEY CAME FROM THE BASEMENT . . .

[dirtbiker]

They're taking so many meds, it's changing their body chemistry, causing negative chain reacions in their brains, causing acute liberalism.

Michael Savage has always maintained that liberalism is a mental disorder, now we have proof....

[Lx]

Is that really a picture of Goodboy?
If so,
1) Why let someone take such a gay looking picture?
2) Why would you publicize it?
I can understand taking a prank photo but that's really weird, freakshow!!!!

[PJ-Comix]

This thread topic seems to be popular so I will let it ride until tomorrow when I will put up a new DUFU edition.

[dirtbiker]

Flexeril is also a muscle relaxer, used to quell muscle spasms in the back. THIS much could stop your heart!

[Jackknife]

I've never heard of methadone being used as a chronic pain medication. I think I'd run the other way if any Doctor prescribed that for me.

Only Elvis' Dr. Nick would prescribe methadone for pain. This DUer is lying to his fellow DUmmies. Lying to everyone around you is one of the many side effects of being an active junkie.

[SCALEMAN]

the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." I hear you . Because of beer I lost my job, my home, my wife, my kids, my self-respect... but I think I'll give beer one more chance!!!

Is that you Homer Simpson?

[SCALEMAN]

Most surprising thing was waking up the next morning WITHOUT a hangover

The longer it is aged in wood casks, the more of the hangover causing ingredients that are leached out. But it won't solve the cotton mouth caused by the diuretic properties of alcohol.

[gate2wire]

"Is that you Homer Simpson?"

No, but I just left rehab early, couldn't take it.

Kept thinking...rehab is for quitters...rehab is for quitters...

[imskylark]

"Flexeril is also a muscle relaxer, used to quell muscle spasms in the back"

I love flexeril. I've only taken it a few times but it sure relaxes those spasms. Luckily, pilates keeps my back stretched and I haven't had problems in a long time.

[Purrcival]

...and doesn't Ditropan help manage lack of bladder control? (gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!)

[SCALEMAN]

Is that you Homer Simpson?" No, but I just left rehab early, couldn't take it. Kept thinking...rehab is for quitters...rehab is for quitters

I almost posted that to PJ on his comment about Colt 45 being the precurser to rehab, then thought better, then regretted not doing.. then popped an upper.. 3 shots of scotch and .... uhhh what were we talking about?

[PJ-Comix]

Colt 45 is the drink that is most often drunk out of paper bags in back of the small groceries that sell it. I often see Colt 45 drinkers in the early AM huddled together in the back of those markets.

[Purrcival]

You need to compile a parody book or CD -- or maybe PJ will include your parodies in the DUFU book that Mary Matalin (or some enlightened publisher) will publish.

[SCALEMAN]

Thanks. I notice that Glenlevit doesn't mention that they were bought out by a French firm some around a year ago.

Each single malt has it's own particular taste and none are the same. Oddly there is a restrained in Joplin Mo. (of all places) that used to have the most extensive stock of single malts I have ever seen. The most expensive (don't remember the name) was $45/shot. Needless to say I never tried it.

[Purrcival]

Frankly, I like the commercials for the anti-depressants that tick off a laundry list of possible side-effects like nausea, diarrhea, abdominal pain, headache, etc., etc....but the main selling point is that it has a "low risk of sexual side effects".

[SCALEMAN]

Colt 45 is the drink that is most often drunk out of paper bags in back of the small groceries that sell it

Same here in Stl. The same stores that sell single cigarettes. Someone on the city council tried to get that stopped several years ago, but the hue and cry from north city nipped it in the bud.