DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]

[franksolich]

Uh, this is only my opinion, but I take the stand that "saving" a DUmmie screenshot is the all-important goal here, no matter its size.

Just so someone "saves" it before the DUmmies delete it.

As far as I am concerned, the "saved" image could be as large as a football field, and we could live with it--the important thing is, that it gets "saved."

It appears you were the only person--anywhere, not just here--who had the presence of mind to "save" the bounced-check image; and I would rather that it ended up being "saved" too large, than not "saved" at all.

Size can be adjusted later; "saving" and displaying (one time) should be utmost priority, I think.

[KJC1]

Updated timeline (please copy, paste with additions & corrections):

Baltimore:

May 4: Undie lands in Baltimore
May 5: Undie allegedly visits w/ the doctor
May 5: Cashier's Check for $25k is issued from WA state

Ohio:

May 6: Undie flies to Columbus, Ohio
May 6: Cashier's Check for $7k is issued from WA state
May 6: Sfexpat2000 announces just over $32k is raised
May 7: Undie is in Ohio @ the DU meetup
May 8: Meet w/ some more DUmmies
May 9: Flew from Ohio back to Baltimore

Baltimore:

May 9: "Bowel flush"
May 10: Scheduled surgery date
May 10: Undie posts that Skinner has info to verify things
May 11: 12 Noon Undie posts that JH has been paid
May 11: 8 PM Undie posts that he wrote a "hot check"
May 11: Date on "diagnostic sheet" Undie later posted

[beandog]

I personally do no believe he was ever scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. I think it may have been a way to get the DUmmies to hurry up and send their money. If he was so deathly ill that they had to move his surgery date up from the original June 2nd to May 11th, the hospital would have made sure to move people around to get him in ASAP not wait until the "new" date of May 26th.

[rikkir]

No, I didn't write that. That comment was posted on the same day.
I put that up to show the plans for this have been in place for a long time. I have seen posts that said he was being checked for diabetes (blood sugar @ 562 I believe), hepatitis A, liver failure, and ingrown toenails for all I know. It seems that they (he definitely has accomplices) have been ramping up the level of the illness to draw maximum donations. Or the other possibility is that they have laid enough ground work with the other ailments to pull out the "miracle misdiagnosis", which allows Undie to keep the money because more tests are required.
The end seems to justify the means. The end being that the whole voter fraud conspiracy that he has been running around the country trying to dispute is coming down around his ears and he doesn't have a real job. How can he keep up this jet setters lifestyle that he has gotten accustomed to with out the funds to do so.
I think all he has to do (and I think it's working) is run this fund raising thing for about 2-3 weeks, in all the various places he has (different people keep sending money from these at least 123 requests) and good ol' Undie is set for life. Think about it, I read some one earlier in the threads estimated he may already be up to 300k in donations, and his lemmings are still at it as they believe he is falling short.
Mark my words. Sometime next week there will be a message posted that it was diagnosed wrong (thank God for those brilliant doctors at JH) and that the money that has been raised is going to be put in an account to allow Undie to keep doing the "tireless work for the disenfranchised voters" (that phase was in every one of the pleas for money that I've seen) that he has begun.
He may very well be sick. Being a homosexual has it's drawbacks. We all know that. Their lifestyle promotes disease. However I think the real need for the money is to keep the poster boy for "Diebold hacking" (saw that one on every plea also) flush so he can go on feeding the sheep who believe such nonsense. He has found a great gig and doesn't want to have to go back to Seattle and get a real job.
His timeline mistakes don't have to be solid enough for us. They don't care whether we believe it or not. The only people who have to believe are the ones who are donating. Based on what we have uncovered we can see something fishy, but not anything provable. As long as that is the case the people throwing money at him will keep on as they see what we are trying to do is bring down one of their icons, evil Conservatives that we are. At this point, nothing short of JH holding a press conference to say that it has been a fraud will prove it to them, and you know that isn't going to happen.
I think he has already accomplished what he set out to do.
JMHO. I think I'll go see if I have any tin foil.

[Barset]

bump

[beandog]

Maybe that's why they didn't do certified checks. I always thought a certified check was one of your own checks, that you write the amount and the person to whom the check is going and the bank certifies that the money is in the account and you can't spend it.

[KJC1]

Totally 100% agree. I have captured a few things now, so that is the main point. I just need to learn to crop them for more user-friendly viewing. :^)

[hipaatwo]

Andy_Stephenson Donating member (1000+ posts)
Tue Mar-22-05 07:04 PM
Original message
I saw the pictures of my tumor today...



I have decided to call it "Bev".

It is very round and black...very scary looking. The Doctor has put off surgery yet again in lieu of more testing. I grow weary of all the tests. I want this fucking thing out of my body. Bev is not a welcome visitor and I want it dispatched. The Doctor assures me this will be the last round of tests...he better be right...I am this close || to calling all of this off...Finding a new Doctor...and getting the hell on with it!!! I am tired of all the delays.

Now, Termite is scheduled to go to Florida for a week and may not be here when I am going to need him the most. THIS SUCKS! GodDamnit! Why the fuck is this happening to me? Will Pitt get busy on that writing project we talked about. You may need it sooner rather than later.

Oh and so everyone will understand...I am going to sit in the garden for a while. I need the recuperative vibes. Sorry to post another rant...but I am damn mad and I am not sure I can take this any longer!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3325922


He already had a doctor, that wanted to perform surgery. He had no insurance and no money but he had a doctor and tests and cancelled surgery, yet again.

[franksolich]

In regards the photograph of the felonious Andy and his adult beverage, that is the DUmmie "meganmonkey" on the left, and the DUmmie "LiberalNurse" in the center.

[rikkir]

"Tue Mar-22-05 07:04 PM"

There you go, that pesky time line again. If this was posted on the date shown, why do we have posts with later dates that show all the other ailments.
Also how can someone who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a tumor seen at that time, have the strength to pose for those pictures earlier in the thread. From what I've read at this point he should not be able to get out of bed, much less jet back and forth to OH and have drinks with his buddies.

[commonguymd]

I agree with what you say. It is about much more than $50,000. This is professional fund raising and it is out there, everywhere.

This may very well be a retirement deal - with the clause you state: "Sometime next week there will be a message posted that it was diagnosed wrong (thank God for those brilliant doctors at JH) and that the money that has been raised is going to be put in an account to allow Undie to keep doing the "tireless work for the disenfranchised voters" (that phase was in every one of the pleas for money that I've seen) that he has begun."

[commonguymd]

As I am aware, there is nothing back as far as firm confirmation from Skinner yet. You do good work.

[KJC1]

GREAT FIND HIPAATWO!

That thread could be MAJOR.

Read Undie's comments throughout.

This is where the whole JH seed and money issue was born!

[rikkir]

"This is professional fund raising and it is out there, everywhere."

You can bet your Aunt Fanny that it is professional. He learned from the queen; Bev Harris.

[commonguymd]

Interesting that another site said he was in the hospital and just diagnosed with cancer in late April. I get so confused. I thought he was misdiagnosed with Hepatitus until that point in April.

see here:
http://gotv.blogspot.com/2005/04/andy-stephenson-anti-bbv-activist.html

here:
http://gotv.blogspot.com/2005/04/andy-stephenson-anti-bbv-activist.html

Randi Rhodes here:
http://www.therandirhodesshow.com/randirhodes/messageboards/index.php?showtopic=49660

and here where it says several weeks prior he had cancer:
http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=22

here:
http://www.seattlefordean.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=2023

Du - killed the original thread here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=356%201640&mesg_id=3561640

here:
http://shireen.forclark.com/comments/2005/4/30/231124/276/0/post

here they claim they had 36000 on the 5th:
http://www.opednews.com/hartmann_050105_save_andy.htm

[commonguymd]

well this kind of shoots that perhaps because this claims he did not have hepatitus on feb. 15th. like i say i am confused.

http://www.blackboxvoting.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=347

[commonguymd]

Here mr. Pitt says they had 25000 on may 3rd.

Within 100 hours, Andy Stephenson had the $25,000 down-payment he needed to save his life. It came as nickels, as dimes, as dollar bills, but it came.

[Barset]

This is gold. Did you down-load it from DU to a file?

[rikkir]

Notice that is the same post from my #661. Somebody reposted it to govtblog on April 23. I guess one of them discovered new source for cash. By that time they already had somebody questioning this (per the comment posted after).

[Barset]

More gold.