Dems Vote to Deport Schwarzenegger

Counterjab ^ | 04/24/2005 | Chris Davis

[writer33]

Washington — In an embittered and highly contested vote, Democrats—along with a few Republicans lawmakers—voted to deport Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, R-CA. In his bigoted speech to the Newspaper Association of America last week, Schwarzenegger claims to have misspoken after using ill-advised, typically conservative, racist comments.

“It’s a federal issue,” Schwarzenegger said. “And the only thing I can say and add to this is, really, close the borders. Close the borders in California, and all across Mexico and the United States.”

Critics pounced, stabbing him in the back and kicking him while he’s down, and Schwarzenegger apologized the next day. He blamed faulty English for the gaffe, and said he was for “securing the borders” instead. In his recant, Schwarzenegger added, “Yesterday was a total screw-up in the words I used. Because instead of closing, I meant securing. I think maybe my English, I need to go back to school and study a little bit.”

Democrats huffed and puffed, almost blowing the house down over Schwarzenegger's alleged malapropism — "the governor's words are an embarrassment," scolded state Treasurer Phil Angelides. “Something has to be done about our vigilante governor.”

“We have a terrific relationship with Mexico," Schwarzenegger said. "I filmed four movies in Mexico and I love to go on vacation to Mexico. We have a great trade agreement with Mexico.”

Lawmakers didn’t listen to Schwarzenegger’s pleas, bringing hate legislation to the floor of Congress. “I don’t care what he (Schwarzenegger) says,” noted Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “My vote counts and I say deport him.”

Barbara Boxer, D-CA, also jumped on the bandwagon, berating Schwarzenegger and giving a yes vote. “It sounded like there was a little swastika in those comments,” she screeched. Like father, like son I guess. “We’ve got to do what’s best for our nation and send him back to Austria.”

The fevered debate on The Hill lasted almost 15 minutes before voting commenced, happily throwing Schwarzenegger to the wolves and deporting him back to Austria. “We can’t allow these bigoted remarks to go unchallenged,” commented Olympia Snow, R-ME. “There’s a new tone here in Washington and we can’t reach out to Democrats with Republicans like this.”

“First, these menacing minutemen and now this from Schwarzenegger,” said Gov. Christine Gregoire, D-WA. “I fully support the action by Congress. I think it’s great. We’re much more diverse here in Washington.”

Despite the protests from Schwarzenegger, the U.S. Justice Department plans to storm the mansion, kidnap Schwarzenegger in the early morning hours and place him on a plane. In order to make sure we have this right,” noted Sen. Clinton, D-NY. “We’re bringing in Janet Reno to help us clean house in Sacramento.”

[b4its2late]

LOL!

[writer33]

Glad you enjoyed it, b4.

[ScorpiusInvincitatus]

Thanks, I like ranting. I got the satire, but I can't help getting up on the soapbox and raving wildly when the opportunity arises.

High regards,
Scorpi

[Hot Tabasco]

Shameless ghost vanity post ping......

[writer33]

Shameless ghost vanity post ping...

I hate all of you people. You're so mean and nasty. You conservatives. :) Hehe!

[writer33]

Like I said, "Nice Rant, SI."

[MurryMom]

I knew the headline was too good to be true!

Seriously now, when did the Dems ever deport anybody? It's Dubya constantly trying to silence opposition to his failed attempt to abolish SS by excluding dissenters from most of his publicly funded meetings. If President Clinton had tried such cynical and dishonest tactics Rethugs would be shouting the I-word again.

[Libloather]

Seriously now, when did the Dems ever deport anybody?

RATS have always had a selective memory loss problem. We fondly call it - Hillaryitis...

It's Dubya constantly trying to silence opposition to his failed attempt to abolish SS by excluding dissenters from most of his publicly funded meetings.

I've noticed that a few of the RATS are coming around on the idea of private accounts. They don't have much of a choice. Even your impeached *Bubba recommended them. (There is medication for your disability, ya know.)

If President Clinton had tried such cynical and dishonest tactics Rethugs would be shouting the I-word again.

If *Billy Jeff's found guilty of selling pardons, we've already got the paperwork filled out.