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DUmmie FUnnies 04-12-05 ("kerry crap and the election")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 12, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/12/2005 7:05:20 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

It is almost three months AFTER the Inauguration and the DUmmies are still reliving the agony of their November defeat. They STILL can’t get over it as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “kerry crap and the election.” According to DUmmie theology, Kerry ran a better campaign than Bush and actually won the election. So I guess Teh-RAY-suh is now our first lady, right? Perhaps in the DUmmie alternate universe where they have created their own reality. In any event, it is quite hilarious to watch the DUmmies relive and agonize over the 2004 election. Nothing like a bunch of bile oozing out of their pores to make for some high comedy. As usual, the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Botox ooze out of Kerry’s pores, is in the brackets:

kerry crap and the election

[True. There was a lot of Kerry crap in the election.]

reading the board today, and then listening to jon stewart tonight talk about how bad a candidate kerry was. he had everything against him. he handle so many things well. he did the debates well. he ran his cmapaign well, in my opinion. he had crowds and they worked them. he had good speeches, and good plans for the country. and the media never showed his speeches or they did and then just tore him up, not ever what he said., plan plan doesnt kerry have a plan, no plan kerry, after he lays it out

[Kerry was about as good a candidate as is your grammar, DUmmie seabeyond. What’s the matter? Can’t afford a whole $5 for a new keyboard with a working cap lock?]

bush ran such a bad campaign. only certain people allowed in his speeches. he tripped up so many times. lousy debates and people raz on kerry now pissed at him for conceding early, i can hear that, though i knew election night it was stolen, and believe it today, i can see why he didnt fight it. i dont like it, but i can understand. but i didnt think he ran a bad campaign. he had the energy. the people working for him. at the end, bush people, their heads hung down. i saw as many kerry signs and stickers as bush in te panhandle of texas. my repugs knew bush was going to lose bush did not run a good campaign.

[Bush didn’t run a good campaign? Then that must not have been him I saw inaugurated on Jan. 20. Oh, and please send me a telegram when you finally learn how to write English.]

Ok and your were leading up to what? I know the bushitler stole this last election without a doubt...he was even here in AZ scamm'n with Calangelo eat'n at the Teepee. He's a weasling f*cking cheater, but guess we did all we could do to expose it to no avail. Short of a revolution, what do you suggest?

[Diebolds with new settings.]

i am not opposed to a revolution, wink. i just was watching jon stewart. he and another guy were saying how bad a candidate kerry was. i just dont think he was a bad candidate. i thought he was a good cadidate, with all he had to go against. my gosh, all the labels and what people wanted from him. i wasnt a fan, but i really grew to like kerry. no point. just stewart saying it on national tv gave me a bit of reality check.

[Wink. So you must support a bolshevik revolution, but not a Bolshevik Revolution my little cap lock deprived DUmmie?]

Looking back now I understand how hard it was for him. No fair coverage on the MSM, the SBV people, John O'Neil and his shit and how the media makes Bush look like a god. I saw that tonight and was kinda sad how Stewart was making Kerry to look like a horrible canidate. He was great I think as were all of them. They all would've had the same shit whether it be Howard Dean or General Clark. Yes, Kerry made a few mistakes and I think things could've been better but we were so attacked by the media and with the electronic voting machines and how OVER NIGHT the republican party were allowed to go into the polling places to challenge people.

[I personally threw out a dozen multi-hued mohawk haired MTVers from my local polling place. One can NEVER be too careful.]

And at least, if they steal the next election from us, let's go Ukrainian on their asses.

[And smash those nasty Republicans in the pocketbook with another “Not One Damn Dime Day.”]

i have been going to past music and trying to pull out the revolutionary music to copy onto tape for my car. (rocket launcher) so this summer i can get kids motivated. i dont need violence, no sir, not my thing. i prefer revolution in music and dance and outside and picnics with family and kids playing. marches. democrats are so cool, we should have the coolest of revolution. and we are way smarter

[Tiptoe through the Tulips on the way to the Winter Palace.]

He attempted to triangulate his positions too much, and cost himself much energy; he didn't realize soon enough that the Swift Boat Liars would gain traction; he needed to weave the strands of his postions into a stronger rope, etc., etc. But on the whole it was a winning campaign. Unfortunately, to take office, he needed a very large margin (by presidential election standards), say 5-6 percent at least, to overcome the vote thefts all over the country. We'll never know what the real vote was -- I'm thinking about 51% K - 48% B, but that was a small enough gap for the traitorouspigf*ckingslimedogs to close. They've got the mechanisms of the vote firmly fixed in their hands. To win nationally, we're going to have to swamp their ability to steal elections.

[ALL your Diebolds belong to US!]

Bush won, because Rove spent 4 years planning this fix. It will catch up with them...

[…in the Year 2525 if Man is still Alive.]

I still want this man to be president some day. I do wish the American people would get their collective heads out of the asses and stop looking for a guy they can have a beer with but never will.

[Next time around, Kerry will sign his Form 180 to prove that the Swift Boat Vets were liars. He’ll sign it because he PROMISED he would. It will happen any day now…or maybe any year now.]

How in the name of hell was Kerry a bad candidate? His crowds were tremendous, there was a real feeling of elation in the air on election day, bush was told by Karen Hughes that he was losing, you could see all the signs of a Kerry win.

[So are you mad that you didn’t get an invite from Susan Estrich to her Kerry Victory Party?]

It was GOP shill Byron York who dumped on Kerry while Stewart humored him. Then, of course, York blamed Michael Moore and MoveOn, next. Completely inconsistent, they will SAY ANYTHING to get rid of Kerry, Moore and MoveOn, so they blame all three. They know damn well they had to pull every lie they could, control the media and rig the machines to force themselves back into power. Then they say Kerry was just a bad candidate.

[Funny but James Carville who helped run Kerry’s campaign ALSO says he was a bad candidate.]

Kerry was far to "polite". I agree with a lot of the positive points you bring up. But he really didn't run AGAINST Bush nearly hard enough. He couldn't even bring himself to call Bush a LIAR, in spite of all the evidence that Bush lies so habitually every day that Nixon looks kinda honest by comparison! Kerry didn't fight back nearly enough when outrageous lies and slanders were published about his Navy service in Vietnam. Even people in Vietnam said those lies were outrageous.

[Too bad Kerry waited too long to promise to sign Form 180 to prove those were outrageous lies. But now that Kerry has definitely promised to sign Form 180 sometime in the future, he has put that issue to rest…once he takes care of the mere formality of actually signing it.]

I sure hope Kerry doesn't try to run in 2008. We'll need a Franklin Roosevelt to save America by then! Actually, Barbara Boxer would make a great President in such a crisis, but unfortunately I don't think a woman would have much chance of being elected. Well, she'd make a great vice President too!

[Karl Rove has already designated Hillary as the Democrat ’08 nominee. You cannot defeat the will of the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

Of course anything can happen from now until 2008. For all we know at 2006 we could win back the majority and have impeachment hearings for the whole Bush administration and put in Kerry and Edwards. One can dream.

[One can dream of an entirely NEW constitution since our current one provides NO PLACE in presidential succession for either Ketchup Boy or the Breck Girl.]

The "stolen election" crap is sour grapes.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I thought he did fine, but "Rat-F*cker" Rove...is a master of deceit. His cronies are a pack of parasites. No matter how adept Kerry is, the Rove machine is so corrupt, that a man as upstanding as Kerry is could - or would - never stoop to that level. There were times when I almost wished he had, but the truth of the matter is, Kerry is a man of honor, and Roveco. are a bunch of maggots.

[Rove has determined that your next nominee will be Hillary. You don’t like it? Live with it! Nothing can stand in the way of the Rove Machine.]

Kerry's parents raised him well. You can see that today and in the movie "Going UpRiver." His parents must be proud.

[Especially the part where Kerry spent Christmas in Cambodia in his Swift Boat fighting the Khmer Rouge…or was he supplying them?]

they are pigs. no moral. will do anything to f*ck us. perverted. be a rape, the grossest of rapes. they are that filthy

[The Deliverance hillbillies are gazing upon one of your orifices with great hunger oh cap lock deprived one.]

I wish he would go after the SBVT assholes.

[Don’t worry. It will happen as soon as Kerry signs his form 180. It will happen any day now…or any year now…well, sometime in this millenium…maybe.]

I remember reading an article of an interview with Kerry's ex-wife Julia. She was talking about how she and Kerry still talk and how he really wanted to go after the SBVT people but according to her the DLC wouldn't let him go after and the DLC wouldn't let people bash Bush at the convention because it might turn people off.

[Kerry desperately wanted to sign his form 180 but it was the nasty DLC that kept him from doing so. They have puppet strings attached to Kerry that controlled his every move. And, of course, the DLC has strings manipulated by Puppet Master Rove.]

that night of the convention the memo was out and all the repugs covering the democratic convention and the media were balsting they had better not say anything mean, they had better not be tough.

[better not use a keyboard with a working cap lock.]

I agree with you--the only asset Bush had is Rove and Kerry's biggest problem was not responding early enough to the swift boaters which dominated the news in September.

[At least Kerry has finally responded to the Swift Boaters with a DEFINITE promise to sign his form 180 at some point in the future…maybe.]

Kerry wasn't a bad candidate, but his campaign was PATHETIC. Right from the start of it when they f*cked up the balloon drop at the convention and his brother was all bent out of shape cursing the happenings. "Why aren't the f*cking balloons coming down?!?" If that wasn't a sign of things to come, I don't know what was.

[The balloon drop! Of course! It was the botched balloon drop that doomed the Kerry campaign from the get-go.]

So many times they hesitated and ignored the Swift Boat F*cks until it was too late and the damage was already done. Not saying anything was almost like admitting the liars were right.

[Yeah. All it would have taken was Kerry’s signature on his form 180 to prove that he DID spend Christmas in Cambodia as was seared, SEARED into his memory.]

So many times they had him do STUPID publicity stunts in the late stages of the campaign like dressing up in camouflage to go out goose hunting of all things! Oh, sure, all the gun people are going to fall for that one, like it's not too obvious or anything.

[I was sort of partial to the Bunny Wabbit Sperm Cell Space Suit myself.]

Too many times they advised him to stress the word KILL in his speeches. How many times did we have to hear him say, "I'm going to seek out the terrorists wherever they are and KILL them!!"

[“I’m going to seek out my campaign and KILL it by wearing a Bunny Wabbit Sperm Cell Space Suit.”]

Too many times his advisors had him deliver the type of message that came off as being self-serving and insincere. Who was the IDIOT that advised him to make his famous Mary Cheney is a Lesbian remark at the end of his debate??

[Janet Reno?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2004election; dummies; johnkerry
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To: Dashing Dasher
Bwahahahahah! That was my favorite election picture. I just wish I was playing safety on that play......
81 posted on 04/12/2005 8:49:56 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("If Stabenow were any bigger a roadblock, she could halt traffic on all of I-75.")
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To: Dan from Michigan

My other favorite is the one where he is trying to kick a football, or the one where he was try to head the soccer ball, or the one where he's trying to kiss his wife, or the one where he and Breck Boy are hugging tight, or the one.........

Well, you get the picture!


82 posted on 04/12/2005 8:55:19 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.)
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To: beckysueb

Semantics. The MSM to them is Rush Limbaugh. LOL


83 posted on 04/12/2005 9:36:02 PM PDT by Nataku X (Food for Thought: http://web2.airmail.net/scsr/)
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To: PJ-Comix
[…in the Year 2525 if Man is still Alive.]

Right. That's it. You've asked for it, then. :)


84 posted on 04/12/2005 9:48:07 PM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-G-d, PRO-LIFE..." -- FR founder Jim Robinson)
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To: speed_addiction

Speed, that dance animation was hilarious!


85 posted on 04/12/2005 9:59:06 PM PDT by Scothia (If you pray for rain, prepare to deal with some mud.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
mr. e. e. cummings, ladies and gentlemen.

ROTFLMAO!!! Perfect! :)

86 posted on 04/12/2005 10:07:33 PM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-G-d, PRO-LIFE..." -- FR founder Jim Robinson)
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To: Flux Capacitor
"The DUmmie Underground: the Partridge Family of the musical revolution. -Dan"

Oh, come on, they're the Cowsills of the musical revolution.

87 posted on 04/12/2005 10:45:21 PM PDT by Darkwolf (Yankee Agnostic Free-Speech Advocate)
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To: PJ-Comix

A commedian I saw tonight from Iowa said that while he volunteered for the DNC it was like eating that ol' batch of fish sticks in the back of your freezer when what you really wanted was a pizza in there.

"He wasn't the other guy"


88 posted on 04/13/2005 12:39:25 AM PDT by weegee (WE FOUGHT ZOGBYISM November 2, 2004 - 60 Million Voters versus 60 Minutes - BUSH WINS!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
And at least, if they steal the next election from us, let's go Ukrainian on their asses.

Better yet, move to the Ukraine! Permanently

89 posted on 04/13/2005 4:32:38 AM PDT by jslade (People who are easily offended......OFFEND ME!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Bump for a Form 180. Good thing we're not holding our breath on it.


90 posted on 04/13/2005 4:50:15 AM PDT by aBootes
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To: postaldave

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #649.


91 posted on 04/13/2005 4:50:23 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: river rat
Welcome aboard, PINGEE #650.

Note to Mary Matalin: Biggest PING List on the Free Republic. Let's extend the popularity to the GENERAL PUBLIC with a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories).

92 posted on 04/13/2005 4:57:59 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The next time I watch Woody Allen's "Everything You Want To Know About Sex," I will be looking to see if the sperm cell sitting next to him is John Kerry.


93 posted on 04/13/2005 5:02:43 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: 537cant be wrong
you should write your humble comments when tired more often. they all were pants wetters. great job P.J.

The funniest thing is that the DUmmies think I spend HOURS working on each of these DUFUs. The fact is that I look at a DUmmie post and reply with the first thing that comes to mind then on to the next...boom..boom...boom. I usually spend more time LOOKING for a DUmmie thread to DUFU than the actual DUFUing itself.

94 posted on 04/13/2005 5:10:16 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I have been sitting here trying to think of my response to this bit of mindless nonsense. I had thought about commenting on how the only concrete election irregularities anyone found were to the advantage of the Democrats. Then I thought about having a little fun with the Democrat obseccesion with "stolen" elections and the Dark Lord Rove.

However I find myself simply weary with these relectlessly delusional conspiracy-theory lunatics. Lets get on with this revolution that they are always threatening and have at it once and for all.

95 posted on 04/13/2005 5:56:04 AM PDT by An Old Marine (Freedom isn't Free)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry had a plan? Kerry laid out his plan?

Next they'll say he was in Viet Nam.

96 posted on 04/13/2005 6:28:17 AM PDT by N. Theknow (DUmmies: So low on the food chain they have plankton bites on their butts.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Shouldn't we start to call Rove The Wizard?


97 posted on 04/13/2005 6:50:08 AM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (Public Enemy #1, the RATmedia.)
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To: weegee

A "commedian" must be a communist comedian.


98 posted on 04/13/2005 6:57:51 AM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (Public Enemy #1, the RATmedia.)
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To: cripplecreek

I'm goin up the country
Where the water tastes like wine!


99 posted on 04/13/2005 2:04:12 PM PDT by NonLinear ("If not instantaneous, then extraordinarily fast" - Galileo re. speed of light. circa 1600)
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To: PJ-Comix
You have to be here just before the second.

LOL! An ambush of the obvious in the early of the evening! Thank you!

100 posted on 04/13/2005 3:11:43 PM PDT by TheGeezer
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