Question for my Fellow Freepers...

March 23, 2005 | Hildy

[Hildy]

You are in your 20's, and you're visiting somebody in the hospital. You pass by a room where somebody is all contorted up, in a vegitative state. Would you say to your husband:

a)Honey, Don't ever let me live in that condition.

b )Honey, If I ever get like that, please make sure you do everything in your power, whatever the cost to you and our family, financially and emotionally, to keep me in that vegitative state no matter how long it takes. I want you to come and sit by my side every day and go home alone every night. I want to have strangers tend to my most personal needs. If I don't respond in four or five years, make sure I'm kept alive by a feeding tube in my stomach. And, most importantly, if you're not sure if I know what's going on around me, please err on the side of caution and keep me in that bed, indefinitely.

Remember, you're 24 years old. Which one would you pick?

[lonestar]

Here's a direct answer--

I just fed my 88 year old mother who has had Alzheimer's for 10 years. I then gave her water. If somebody doesn't feed her, she would starve. That will never happen in my liftime.

I don't know if she recognizes me or not. It doesn't matter because I know who she is.

[Hildy]

You obviously haven't been reading many threads here, have ya? LOL!

[Leatherneck_MT]

Cannot say that I would want my wife to starve me to death, but I have told my wife and others in my family to not keep me alive by artificial means.

If I cannot live without being hooked to a machine then I don't want to live at all.

However, I am going on record that I don't want to be starved to death. If THAT means staying hooked to a machine, then I'll stay hooked to the machine.

[Hildy]

Thank you for your response.

[the Deejay]

I have told my husband that if he ever starve me to death that I would haunt him till he the day he die :0)

Jokingly, I said same to my hubby one day and it scared him!! LOL!

He took me seriously. Too funny!

[llama hunter]

let us turn this around a bit

what if Terry had a living will etc, expressing her wish not to live like this, no argument whatsoever,

I personally don't think her parents would be any less upset or any more accepting of the reality, some people just can't let go - add the clashing of personalities between the husband and parents, then you wonder it is just a matter of who wins, and this poor girl is a pawn in a family squabble......

and hey, we've all seen it where families will try to ignore the express wishes of a deceased person......

not only would I myself not want to be a burden to my family, but I would want them to grieve my loss, remember me as a vital person, not some vegetable attached to tubes, wasting away, and more importantly I would want them to get on with their lives........whether they were necessarily ready to let go or not, who is, even when you know someone is going to die, it is hard to accept when you love someone, or maybe I just know my own family better than some....

here is one thing I haven't seen reported, when Terry was admitted to the hospital originally, and this may be clouded by this malpractice thing

were extraordinary measures taken to keep her alive then or not or did the doctors goof and cause her current state or what

[sweetliberty]

"Honey, I sure chose well years ago when I asked you to dance instead of your friend Hildy."

LOL!

[Hildy]

My question isn't about worth, it's about wishes.

[MarMema]

Well when you have direct experience, let me know.

[socialismisinsidious]

"end point" to be decided

frightening. you don't see the slippery slope in that statement?

maybe the church doesn't think that is okay to kill people, maybe the church knows that food does not equal health care, maybe the church knows that people still die "naturally"...unless you know of someone who is going to live forever.

Terri didn't "chose" her state either, she just is.

[the Deejay]

Ah jeez, I didn't think we were
talking about drowning.

[Hildy]

I'm not a Dr. so I relied on what the Dr.s said about the video and their opinion after examining her. I don't pretend to have a medical degree.

[Miss Behave]

Semper Fi, Leatherneck. I hope that all is well with you.

(He's given me permission to address him in that manner.)

[E-Mat]

So what percentage wanted to be starved as described in the following affidavit?:

http://www.wilkes-mchugh.com/schiavo/Affidavit%20of%20Kate%20Adamson.pdf

[Hildy]

No.

[M Kehoe]

Had I known I was gonna live so long, I'd a taken better care of my teeth. ~ John Wayne

I have a friend named Curtis. Met him in the Army >25 yrs ago. He's 6'7" about 240 lbs...and has no teeth. He's ugly too.

I hope he reads my post.

8^)

5.56mm

[teenyelliott]

I'm with you, Hildy. I would rather be let go, and let all my loved ones get on with their lives.

And I really don't care if someone hates me because I would rather be selfless.

[Hildy]

Let me explain that further. He was at home tended to by a hospice worker.

[Hildy]

I think you're in the majority.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Not with someone who is not already dying. I don't know how many times this has to be explained. But there is always someone with food in their tummy and water to drink that maintains that denying a healthy person food and drink is no big deal. And yes, she may not be mentally healthy but her body is just fine.

You go fast for five days and tell me it is not torture. I would not treat a dog this way. You would treat a human this way.