Posted on 03/23/2005 5:09:24 PM PST by Hildy
You are in your 20's, and you're visiting somebody in the hospital. You pass by a room where somebody is all contorted up, in a vegitative state. Would you say to your husband:
a)Honey, Don't ever let me live in that condition.
b )Honey, If I ever get like that, please make sure you do everything in your power, whatever the cost to you and our family, financially and emotionally, to keep me in that vegitative state no matter how long it takes. I want you to come and sit by my side every day and go home alone every night. I want to have strangers tend to my most personal needs. If I don't respond in four or five years, make sure I'm kept alive by a feeding tube in my stomach. And, most importantly, if you're not sure if I know what's going on around me, please err on the side of caution and keep me in that bed, indefinitely.
Remember, you're 24 years old. Which one would you pick?
I've viewed the video. Have you read anything about this case?
You've been through it?
It's not torture, it's an accepted medical practice. I don't know how many times this has been explained but somehow there's always someone who still maintains this stance.
"I don't know E-Mat, why don't you ask her..."
Eek! She recovered!
Hildy I recall being bashed by you over the Smart case.
If I recall correct ( not verbatim) you said you would rather hang with transients like those employed by Smart family over those of us FReepers who said we would never let transients work in our house near our kids.
Freepmail
I've not impugned you for your belief. You are completely entitled to your own opinions. However, you still seem to have an emotional investment in your being right, which I find curious. Now, this time, if you decide to respond, try to answer the question I asked instead of one you find easier to deflect.
Yes. What conclusions have you drawn from the video/s?
No, however I work in the medical field and have seen a lot of people in very bad shape from it. I also know the clinical aspects of the pathologies which arise from it.
BTW, she's now my EX of 17 years, perhaps I DO remember her saying she wouldn't want to grow old, fat and ugly. Well, she did. Can I put her out of her misery, now?
Isn't this enough right now to fight about, do we really have to go back to old arguments??? :)
Now we're discussing that old dehydrated story?
If you mean dehydration, it is a far more accepted practise to treat it and quickly.
hey Hildy, your scenario is very apropos, the reality is almost no one would agree with scenario #2 and anyone who says different isn't being truthful, IMO, I mean would you want to financially and emotionally bankrupt your family?
and hey in Canada, we need that hospital bed eh?
just for fun at lunch today I took the contrary view with my 65 year old mother,
and she kept saying, my god, 15 years, that poor woman has been like that for 15 years, it is time to let her go and get some peace......my aunt has terminal cancer and she is just in the process of planning her funeral (she beat ovarian cancer once which was miraculous in and of itself but it came back, she can't walk because she has a huge tumour on her leg which can't be removed, my poor aunt, my cousin, her daughter died at age 23, she had cancer, lymphoma, beat it twice, needed and got a heart transplant after beating the cancer twice but then died of instant rejection - my cousin was a fighter and deeply religious)
of course my mother and I agreed that starvation was cruel and a good shot of morphine in a lethal dose would be a kinder way to let her go......
my cousin was dating a guy who had an accident and became quadraplegic, they were both in their late twenties, she hung in there with him for 4 years, which I thought was more than many married women in the same situation, esp at that age but then she needed more.......though they remained friends
What is missing here is that in a serious conversation about this subject there is more to the statement than "I don't want to be kept in that state." What is missing is the BECAUSE...I can not imagine anybody having a real conversation about this without stating their reason/s. The main reason many people have stated for not wanting to be maintained as a "vegetable" is that they do not want to be a burden to their family. If Terri had this reason, killing her would be exactly going against her wishes, because this is breaking the heart of her mother, father and siblings. Would she really want that? Is it likely that would be her wish? Another reason often given is the pain. We are told Terri has no pain, so that reason is gone too. It REALLY matters what reason she gave. If she gave NO REASON, then it can't be considered a serious conversation.
Also - Sayng "I don't want to live that way" is not the same as saying "Kill me if I end up that way." For instance, you might be riding through a horrible neighborhood and say "I wouldn't want to live that way." It wouldn't mean you wanted to be killed if you ended up there.
When someone has a really bad day and says "Just shoot me" they do not usually MEAN it. Reasons matter and give context.
That's the other part of this that bothers me from a totally emotional standpoint. If he loves his wife so much that he wants to fulfill her wishes, does he think her wishes would include tearing the guts out of her parents? A guy called into Rush or Sean this afternoon and mentioned that. I agree. My MIL can be a miserable wretch, but if I knew that seeing her child die like that would hurt her, for the love of the child she bore for me to wed, I'd relent. UNLESS going against mom's wishes was expressly stated.
In addition I find it troubling that this case is based on hearsay.....
What makes you think that?
I am very sorry about your sister. I am happy that your sister got to know her granddaughter and her granddaughter got to know her.
"Never not even once did my sister complain, nor bemoan her fate."
My Mom had ovarian cancer, survived it...only to get esophageal cancer 5 years later, in her 60's. Like your sister, my Mom never complained. And my Mom taught me, like your sister taught you, how to live and love life. My Mom had faith and her family to help her through. My Mom had a feeding tube for the last 6 months of her life. We would never, never have suggested to remove the feeding tube, my Mom had nourishment till the end of her life here on earth.
As far as I am concerned, there is no A or B answer
Take Care, Two-Bits
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