hey Hildy, your scenario is very apropos, the reality is almost no one would agree with scenario #2 and anyone who says different isn't being truthful, IMO, I mean would you want to financially and emotionally bankrupt your family?
and hey in Canada, we need that hospital bed eh?
just for fun at lunch today I took the contrary view with my 65 year old mother,
and she kept saying, my god, 15 years, that poor woman has been like that for 15 years, it is time to let her go and get some peace......my aunt has terminal cancer and she is just in the process of planning her funeral (she beat ovarian cancer once which was miraculous in and of itself but it came back, she can't walk because she has a huge tumour on her leg which can't be removed, my poor aunt, my cousin, her daughter died at age 23, she had cancer, lymphoma, beat it twice, needed and got a heart transplant after beating the cancer twice but then died of instant rejection - my cousin was a fighter and deeply religious)
of course my mother and I agreed that starvation was cruel and a good shot of morphine in a lethal dose would be a kinder way to let her go......
my cousin was dating a guy who had an accident and became quadraplegic, they were both in their late twenties, she hung in there with him for 4 years, which I thought was more than many married women in the same situation, esp at that age but then she needed more.......though they remained friends
Exactly what my hubby said Sunday.