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DUmmie FUnnies 03-07-05 ("Teresa Heinz 'openly skeptical about results from November election'")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | March 7, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 03/07/2005 3:40:16 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Teresa Heinz Kerry is BACK and NUTTIER than ever as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Teresa Heinz Kerry ‘openly skeptical about results from November election.’” TeRAYzuh now joins the DUmmies in their tinfoil hat theories about how the November election was fixed. TeRAYzuh’s nutty rantings along with the DUmmie ravings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the comedic entertainment value of Mrs. Heinz, is in the [brackets]:

Teresa Heinz Kerry "openly skeptical about results from November election"

Toward the middle of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer linked ARTICLE below:

COUNTING THE VOTES: Heinz Kerry is openly skeptical about results from November's election, particularly in sections of the country where optical scanners were used to record votes.

"Two brothers own 80 percent of the machines used in the United States," Heinz Kerry said. She identified both as "hard-right" Republicans. She argued that it is "very easy to hack into the mother machines."

"We in the United States are not a banana republic," added Heinz Kerry. She argued that Democrats should insist on "accountability and transparency" in how votes are tabulated.

"I fear for '06," she said. "I don't trust it the way it is right now."

[I hope this gets picked by more news sources. Teresa’s nuttiness must be out there for ALL to see.]

Wow, that is fricking awesome. If she's saying things like that she knows and so does Kerry. If they know all the top democrats know.

[And Teresa’s the only one with the nuttiness, uh I mean, guts, to say it out loud.]

Good that she is speaking out about this. Some action would be good too.

[Chewing on a leather strap between the teeth would be one such action.]

Ooooh! Go Teresa! I wish this wasn't jsut a local columnist. I googled it and this is the only paper running it.

[Don’t worry. The world will learn of Teresa’s latest brain fart via the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Don't worry--The RWingers will be all over it shortly.

[Hee! Hee!]

Nice to see we're not crazy after all...Well, in saying that, I am referring to those who ardently believe that this past election was hijacked from A to Z. Especially eerie to see her saying that she fears for 2006 and that she doesn't trust the way it is under the current system... We've got a whole hell of a lot of work to do people.

[If Teresa’s saying it, how could you be crazy? After all, Teresa has a reputation for being a font of sanity and rationality.]

The insane people are those who believe nothing happened and that the election was on the up-and-up. We are crazy with fear about what will happen in 2006, the insane think they have nothing to worry about. We do have work to do and it is nice to see that at least some of our leaders are not insane.

[Teresa Heinz Kerry---The new leader of the DUmmiecrats. They are in WORSE shape than I thought.]

I LOVE a woman who states her mind! Hopefully she will impact her husband!

[“Johnnie, you shmuck! I don’t care if you were a presidential candidate. You still have to walk the poodle at 2 A.M.!”]

Heck yeah! I love this woman. She "gets it."

[I WUV her! Please, Mrs. Heinz! Allow me the honor of rubbing Botox into your nekkid flesh!]

I won't vote again until it's honest and there is a paper trail. WE are a banana republic as far as I'm concerned until the current voting system is fixed. We certainly have a monkey for a president that will always be under a shroud of scandal.

[I agree. “WE” shouldn’t vote in the next election because the electronic voting machines have been fixed. Remember, “WE” won’t be voting in the next election. Spread the word around DUmmieland.]

I've been waiting for her to speak out on this. I hope she does a lot more speaking out, along with everyone else who knows what's going on. It may be a small paper, but it's a start.

[Today the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, tomorrow…..the DUmmie FUnnies!!!]

Too Bad her Husband didn't stick around...to see how it all came out

[Don’t blame him. He got a report of an early snowfall on the Aspen slopes.]

Good for Teresa.

[Invite her to join her son, Chris, who has done nothing in his life more important than serve as a rich paperweight, to post in DUmmieland. I would love to DUFU her directly.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; ketchupqueen; lurch; rats; sorelosers; teresaheinz
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To: jla

WHO CARES??

Geez DUmmies are stupid.


21 posted on 03/07/2005 4:00:19 PM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: DJ MacWoW
these machines aren't hooked to the internet nor one to another

That is, I believe, correct. They are stand-alone so can't be hacked into. Not even from the mothership.

22 posted on 03/07/2005 4:02:53 PM PST by Bahbah
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To: PJ-Comix

Point of information. The election is over, so she changed her name back to what she's always called herself: Teresa Heinz. She just tacked on Kerry so their marriage would look like less of a sham.


23 posted on 03/07/2005 4:03:28 PM PST by Politicalities (http://www.politicalities.com)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hopefully she will impact her husband!

I suspect that the impact will come from an empty gin bottle.

24 posted on 03/07/2005 4:04:06 PM PST by carlr
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To: Bahbah

Well, I recall one time the DUmmie "Andy Stephenson" had allegedly gotten into the computers storing the Ohio election results, and wanted to do something probably illegal--but then that story died, real quick.


25 posted on 03/07/2005 4:04:22 PM PST by franksolich (ask me for the links to ALL of the famous P.J.'s DUmmie FUnnies)
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To: Bahbah
That is, I believe, correct. They are stand-alone so can't be hacked into. Not even from the mothership.

I thought I had read that. Thanks.

*wonder if her mothership is shaped like a bottle of scotch?*

26 posted on 03/07/2005 4:06:49 PM PST by DJ MacWoW ("Are you cops? FBI" bad guy, "I'm currently unemployed" Tony Almeida of 24)
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To: franksolich

Probably because someone from the DUFU sent his ravings to the justice department or the CIA or their senator!


27 posted on 03/07/2005 4:07:01 PM PST by luvie ("THE ROAD OF PROVIDENCE IS UNEVEN AND UNPREDICTABLE-YET WE KNOW...IT LEADS TO FREEDOM!"GWB 2-2-05)
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To: PJ-Comix

The Left is beyond loonie-they are stark raving mad.

They have all the power of rational thought found in a lynch mob.


28 posted on 03/07/2005 4:07:06 PM PST by F.J. Mitchell (When the left hates you, rejoice, for you are right!!!!!)
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To: LUV W

Yeah, and I don't remember if that was an edition of the DUmmie FUnnies or not; I don't think it was, but it was discussed in the DUmmie FUnnies.


29 posted on 03/07/2005 4:07:58 PM PST by franksolich (ask me for the links to ALL of the famous P.J.'s DUmmie FUnnies)
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To: franksolich

I don't think it was a title of a DUFU, but I remember it being discussed and someone saying that they were linking it to the authorities. Maybe ole Andy got a visit late at night!LOL! Could be why he has been so "sick" lately!


30 posted on 03/07/2005 4:13:32 PM PST by luvie ("THE ROAD OF PROVIDENCE IS UNEVEN AND UNPREDICTABLE-YET WE KNOW...IT LEADS TO FREEDOM!"GWB 2-2-05)
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To: carlr; PJ-Comix
Hopefully she will impact her husband!

Like a rotten wisdom tooth.

(Oh, wait, she already does.)

31 posted on 03/07/2005 4:14:01 PM PST by EllaMinnow
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To: DJ MacWoW

LOL still, in DUmmie conspiracy land anything is possible!


32 posted on 03/07/2005 4:18:18 PM PST by gidget7
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To: PJ-Comix
News flash for "Teresa Heinz" You will never be first Lady. We love Laura toooooo much!
33 posted on 03/07/2005 4:23:32 PM PST by just me
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To: DJ MacWoW
Whatever the shape, her mothership beamed her up many many years ago, and replaced her brain with a tinfoil hat, before sending her home.
34 posted on 03/07/2005 4:23:36 PM PST by gidget7
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To: DJ MacWoW

This just in, from DUmmieland.

One wonders if the poor guy is going to get any responses (none yet) to his rather, uh, esoteric questions about subjects on which the DUmmies surely are woefully ignorant.


kamqute (260 posts) Mon Mar-07-05 07:11 PMOriginal message
I need help with a couple of things

a. What major companies that make wooden stuff use lyptus wood?b. How do you lobby a power plant? I live in Illinois, where in addition to nuclear, we use a lot of coal--I want to push for co-firing.c. Does anyone know anywhere you can get culinary advice on using reflector-cookers, particularly sugar-cooking?Thanks!

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35 posted on 03/07/2005 4:24:55 PM PST by franksolich (ask me for the links to ALL of the famous P.J.'s DUmmie FUnnies)
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To: jla

Maybe someone could do a song parody on your Faye quote, "Still crazy after all these months" using Still Crazy After All These Years.

She thinks Kerry will be president after all? C'mon!


36 posted on 03/07/2005 4:25:36 PM PST by Theresawithanh (2005! My resolution: FReep even MORE this year!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
very easy to hack into the mother machines."

OKAY !!!!! 2222 Spaced Idioticity !!!

37 posted on 03/07/2005 4:26:04 PM PST by Deetes (Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick "))
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To: PJ-Comix

Tuh-Ray-Zah was such an asset during the campaign, I can't imagine why we had not heard from her sooner.


38 posted on 03/07/2005 4:29:47 PM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: DJ MacWoW; PJ-Comix; Bahbah
particularly in sections of the country where optical scanners were used to record votes.

What a moron! The optical scan machines are the most reliable, with something like .13% error rate (compared to 7% for punchcard and 1% for touchscreen). Additionally, the optical scan has the paper trail the tin-foil-hat brigade is always harping about.
39 posted on 03/07/2005 4:30:58 PM PST by visualops
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To: franksolich
kamqute

a. What major companies that make wooden stuff use lyptus wood?b. How do you lobby a power plant? I live in Illinois, where in addition to nuclear, we use a lot of coal--I want to push for co-firing.c. Does anyone know anywhere you can get culinary advice on using reflector-cookers, particularly sugar-cooking?Thanks!

Aw geeze! Do you suppose TeRAYzuh shared her special raisins?

40 posted on 03/07/2005 4:33:48 PM PST by DJ MacWoW ("Are you cops? FBI" bad guy, "I'm currently unemployed" Tony Almeida of 24)
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