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DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-04 ("How have you handled the past two months on a personal level?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/30/2004 5:22:54 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Remember the Robert DeNiro character, Max Cady, in the movie, Cape Fear? Well, right now, while reading this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level?” I feel just like that character when he was loudly laughing right behind a terrified family in a movie theater. The only difference is that instead of a movie theater, I am laughing LOUDLY at the Drama Queen pain the DUmmies are expressing over the election results. So, put on those really loud Hawaiian shirts, light up those cigars, and LAUGH at the self-pitying antics of the DUmmies. As usual, the pained DUmmie commentaries are in Bolshevik Red, while the… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!…comments of your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level? I said this in another thread: I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I can barely eat, and I've lost ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated. Is anyone out there feeling like this? Or am I just taking this too hard? How has everyone else been since the election? What is helping you through it?

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I know where your pounds went. I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I eat all the time, and I've gained ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated.

[And I move rapidly between jubilation and elation, and I feel vindicated.]

No, I know where her pounds went. I've been the same way. All I want to do is eat and I've gained 12 pounds since the week before the election.

[NEWSFLASH!!! The election has been over for nearly 2 months. It is safe now to lift your face from that bag of marshmallows.]

I believe that our country will overtly become fascist and to live in a society like that is not in my vocabulary. I have two teenaged sons, a business and a very comfortable home, and am torn about shedding my "stuff" and relocating, resisting (and possibly spend my years meditating in a camp somewhere), or will I not have the courage and become like those in Nazi Germany just accepting?

[Just to feed into this DUmmie’s paranoia, they should have a French voice making announcement over a loudspeaker on Inauguration Day in D.C.. Then, ala Casablanca, the French voice is replaced by a German voice making an announcement starting with “ACHTUNG!”]

I am continually nervous and frightened. I grew up in a democracy, and living under a dictatorship is something I never mentally prepared for. My heart races, my hands shake, my feet sweat, and I wake up many times in the night. It doesn't seem to get better over time, although the depression is gradually replaced by anger and fear.

[Have you caught jock itch yet?]

I feel like a German of the '30's. I wince and grimly look around me and feel... very uncomfortable. It's hard to focus on work, I feel like our whole paradigm is about to change.

[Paradigms SHIFT, not change. Get your DUmmie talking points right.]

When I saw the election turn during the night of Nov 2 & 3, I kind of went into shock. When I woke up the next morning and my husband told me Kerry just conceded, I felt like my guts had been ripped out. I'm NOT OVER IT!! And I never will be. But I know it's going to get a whole lot worse for our country before this nightmare is over. I feel like I've always been "married" to America, and then find out this "spouse" is a serial killer/rapist, on hard drugs, with a huge gambling problem that just wiped us out, before he ran off with my children into hiding, and his brother, the judge, just stuck me with child support payments that I can't pay, and I may go to jail if I don't come up with the money, which I can't, because I lost my job. << I know that sounds pretty melodramatic; but all those feelings of betrayal, desperation, injustice, hopelessness, outrage, insanity, loss, grief.... I feel them all at the same time.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I can't stand to get up in the morning without checking DU. I abandon my own message board to wait here for news. My fingernails - GONE. I forego make-up to check DU before I leave the house. Dishes tend to pile up for a couple of days now. I feel hopeless, disgusted, angry, motivated all at once. I email politicians and media people all friggin' day. My online friends are sick of hearing me talk about this stuff. I sleep until I can't sleep anymore, but still wake up too early. I am frustrated because people don't understand the magnitude of this or its importance. They don't know, and they don't want to know. I finally crumbled and cried (can't remember what development set me off; it was about 2 weeks ago).

[Somehow I get the feeling you WON’T be a New Year’s Eve Life of the Party person.]

And I am angry. I am angry that we are not taking to the streets like they did in Russia. I am angry that we do idiotic things--like standing in front on an empty house--when we should be taking our country back. Why are our leaders so ineffective?

[Don’t be so down on yourself. That freezing in front of Kerry’s empty townhouse bit was GREAT comedy relief!]

Nervous, irritable....a bit withdrawn, smoking too much, weird sleep patterns. I think I've lost weight; I know I'm vitamin-deficient in all sorts of ways, not much appetite. I know I don't laugh as easily as I did before the election. I know I'm not taking as much pleasure in fun silly things as I used to. Likeminded people help. The 'Return of the King' EE helps; oddly enough, so does exquisitely depressing music like Leonard Cohen and Nick Drake and Richard Thompson. (And sometimes 'Dr. Strangelove...' and Sabbath's 'War Pigs') Drafting endless letters to various political figures (two of which have actually gotten e-mailed) seems to briefly alleviate the symptoms.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

It's been hard, frankly. I get a white hot surge of rage sometimes. What the hell is wrong with this country anyway? I live in Southern California. People in the red states hate us. They've got political power, thanks to the effing Electoral College. I've got relatives in Texas who are laughing up their effing sleeves. Where the hell are all the Democratic leaders? We gotta DO something about this. This sucks.

[Have you considered a Prozac overdose?]

I feel like I'm in the f*cking Twilight Zone. There is this big smelly Elephant sitting in the corner of my house but I can only talk about it with a few people. I think realizing the major media outlets have completely gone to the dark side is what really hit me hardest. I was a basket case for the first couple of weeks after the election - little sleep, distracted and feeling like I was going nuts, but since then I've learned to deal with this new bizarre reality I find myself in. Thank god I found DU. My wife has also helped calm me down a bit. I've never been one for conspiracy theories and this election fraud issue has always just seemed like elementary connect the dots - which is why seeing so many people in denial of it just boggles my mind.

[That big smelly Elephant sitting in your house just left one hell of a big pet deposit on your floor.]

dazed and confused...starved for the truth...angry, passionate, patriotic, fearful,determined, anxious and ready to fight like hell for the dignity and integrity of our vote! So much to deal with...it has truly been one hell of a ride...

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I REALLY needed Kerry to win the elction, for me personally as well as for the country and the world. I hoped that getting GWB out of office would free me so that I could move on with my life. I live alone and have isolated myself terribly. I have been utterly unable to work or do anything to either be productive or make any money for over 2 years now. I have been hanging out in places where I sometimes/often see no hope for myself.

[Those heroin shooting galleries do tend to have that effect on you.]

Depression, preoccupation, nightmares, distraction, apathy, misery, hopelessness, insomnia, poor eating habits, social avoidance, repeated thoughts of expatriation and various and sundry other personal upsets.

[So where’s the downside for you?]

i am pissed though at being called idiotic yesterday on TV by Novak. if you missed crossfire, he called "us" in other words believers idiots. and said the recount is over and so it the election - and we are all looking for Kerry to come to our rescue. its things like that that bother me. that make me think every word we type is being looked at. all of this will be repeated by some moron on a freeper board. and taken out of context. makes me crazy.

[Hee! Hee! And may I place your name on the DUFU Ping List, DUmmie roenyc?]

I will never give up! Yes, I've put on weight, I'm drinking heavily and smoking pot when I can find it. I'm on antidepressants and stomache medicine. I vary between anger, sadness, and a numbness that pervades my soul. I have 2 Kerry, 2 DU, a Bush Knew, a What Mandate?, and a Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry bumper stickers on my car and I will continue to taunt the ignorant Bush voters with their stupidity and remind them of their responsibility for the next 4 years of fiasco at every opportunity.

[Take another hit on that pot and INHALE deeply.]

must we air our dirty laundry to the freepers can't this be posted in the lounge, where the freeps might not venture?

[You must! You must!]

I try to tell people that this election was not fair & free....They say.."I did not here this on the news" .Then I tell them the news is owned by corporations and its in there best interest to keep the king in power bla bla bla .....they ask were is John Kerry? I keep screaming but no one wants to here me , they tell me to GET OVER IT .....I know in my heart I'm not nuts and neither are the rest of us who are convinced of the fraud . Yet most people have no idea what happened and how the election system is set up. For many you vote, they count votes then there's a winner. I really think ignorance would be bliss..once you learn the facts about this its hard not to be totally effected.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

it didn't sink in until the electors were certified. i was sure that the truth would set us free, and gulped down the truth every day here at du. i was sure we would be saved. but, once those electors were certified, it sank in. just in time for christmas. i had a horrible holiday, and took the family down with me. i am so torn. i fight within myself all the time to keep my sense of self. when you are the mom of 5 kids, that is already hard. but i have taken the misdeeds of the * administration personally. this is my country, and it feels like my kids have grown up to be axe murderers. either this is my country, and it is my duty to be a part of how it acts, or it is not my country any more. lose, lose.

[“I BELIEVE that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20!!!”]

I was on the freeway on my way to work thinking Kerry wouldn't concede until ALL the votes were counted, my sister calls me and said he conceded. I was so upset I turned around and didn't go to work that day. All I could do was cry for the next few days. Then I got very angry at Kerry and Democrats, America and our political system. I withdrew from all action committees, TrueMajority, Moveon.org, etc. I decided that I would not do anything political ever again.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

Not going out. No movies. Spending very little money. Feeling like the bad guys are winning and the Fundies are on a rampage. Playing video games - World of Warcraft is very immersive and I don't think about the Real World. Feeling helpless and wishing there was something more substantial I could do other than give money to places. Wondering where do we go from here. No matter what happens it will not turn out well - at least for some time.

[Perhaps you should consider posting to one of those dopey “I BELIEVE!!!” threads.]

. Feeling powerless SUCKS. I haven't been able to concentrate since the campaign got going. Every time I settle down and try to get some work done, there's a voice in the back of my head, saying "That criminal is still in the white house, whattaya gonna do about it?" and "He's going to destroy SS and you're mom's gonna be moving in with you," and "How can we prove fraud, can it be proven, how can you relax if it happened?"

[It sounds like the Son of Sam is talking to you.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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Comment #121 Removed by Moderator

To: PJ-Comix
Why are our leaders so ineffective?

Because your "leaders" are nothing less than socialist/communists in a Capitalist Society, Numbskull.

Socialism was tried in this nationn many years ago. It didn't work then, it won't work now.

A FREE U.S.A. is what made this nation great --- IF we can keep it free!

122 posted on 12/31/2004 3:54:44 AM PST by Budge (<><)
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Comment #123 Removed by Moderator

To: Repub4bush
The Dummie "argument" on exit polls, for those who haven't been paying close attention to the loony bin over the last seven weeks, is the following (as presented in the Arneback lawsuit):

(1) Exit polls are perfect to within less than one percentage point.

(2) People never lie to exit polls.

(3) The registration information which determines who to interview in exit polls is an accurate reflection of who voted on election day.

(4) Third world countries use exit polls to determine whether there was voting fraud.

Brilliant, eh?

I would hope the average sixth grade student could rebut this steaming pile of..... :-)
124 posted on 12/31/2004 4:29:01 AM PST by cgbg (A new song for the Dummies--Brain Dead in O-hi-o.)
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To: Straight Vermonter
"It must be hard being a liberal. Having the occupant of the Whitehouse determine your happiness must really be a drag."

Having the loser determine your happiness must really be a drag.

The 'all-about-me' self-centeredness of these people just blows me away...

125 posted on 12/31/2004 4:52:31 AM PST by pigsmith
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To: PJ-Comix

Here's a lovely new posting to this thread that I Just spotted.....

"My husband likes to point out how many hours I spend surfing DU or listening to AAR since 11/3. I've abandoned alot of my other interests. Some days I feel as though I'm just holding on for some shred of hope for our country.

I was stopped at a red traffic light on my way home from work today, waiting behind a big, shiny Escalade plastered with "Bush/Cheney," "W04" and "One Man/One Woman" bumper stickers. The biggest and most obnoxious of these graphic eyesores read, "I'm PROUD that BUSH is our President." I wanted to ram my car right up the driver's ass, get out and call her an ignorant, arrogant, self-blindfolded follower of the biggest failure of a President this country has seen in my lifetime (along with a few other choice words I can't print here). I didn't, of course, but the point is that what I would have laughed off two months ago now makes me want to shake the living sh** out of the perpetrators."

How apropos that the stickers were on an Escalade....prolly jacked this precious thing's BP up 12 notches at least.....


126 posted on 12/31/2004 4:54:00 AM PST by NRA1995 ("Yew jes' go and lay yore hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan & Ah think yer gonna fin'lly understand")
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To: valuesvaluesvalues

"I wonder what kind of weapons a PINK MILITIA would use?? Spitballs?"

The Attack Of The Pink Peeps!!!!!!


127 posted on 12/31/2004 4:55:41 AM PST by NRA1995 ("Yew jes' go and lay yore hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan & Ah think yer gonna fin'lly understand")
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To: PJ-Comix

Good work again PJ, have fun with the Latinas, youve earned it buddy.


128 posted on 12/31/2004 5:41:21 AM PST by PubliusEXMachina (Ashely's Story)
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To: valuesvaluesvalues
How cynical. Hillary wanted what was best for her party. How dare you accuse her of....

Nah, I'm not buying it either.

129 posted on 12/31/2004 5:50:16 AM PST by Darkwolf377 (Mobius Consistency Strip: I was for George W. Bush before I was for him.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hee! This is the first DUmmie I have read all the way through. This is so stupid. Don't these people know Kerry is relaxing in a mansion somewhere and doesn't give a rip about them? Talk about a waste of energy. But I'm glad they stood in the slush outside Kerry's empty house. I've been chortling about that ever since I saw the picture. That is a classic.
130 posted on 12/31/2004 5:55:51 AM PST by A knight without armor
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To: PJ-Comix

Man, this is great. I REVEL in your suffering, DUmbasses.

-Dan

131 posted on 12/31/2004 6:03:11 AM PST by Flux Capacitor (NIXON NOW!!!)
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To: hattend
Okay, I'll bite...why is a hot mama like that an ex-wife? Was she a psycho, Lorena Bobbitt wannabe?

She was very unfaithful. Had numerous affairs and in the ebd, she and her lover paid to have me killed. Her hitman wound up getting shot in the chest and neck by me, using HER Taurus 9mm, ironically.
132 posted on 12/31/2004 6:11:53 AM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: Straight Vermonter

----It must be hard being a liberal. Having the occupant of the Whitehouse determine your happiness must really be a drag.----

Man, no kidding. The happiest, most productive years of my life were during the Clinton Administration. I hated the bastard, but the knowledge that he was president in no sapped my will to life, as seems to be the case with these sad little freaks. I was certainly not happy on that November night in 1996 when he was re-elected, but I just figured "well, we'll see you bastards in four years" and got on with my business.

It never even occurred to me to curl up into a little ball and starve myself for the rest of the year, or to get out of my car and scream at people with "Clinton/Gore" stickers on their VW's.

I love following politics. But there's a fine line beyond which it takes over your life and dictates your day-to-day mood. The difference between Freepers and DUmbasses is that we're tethered enough to reality to recognize what's important.

As for these other losers.... well, let's be grateful that their crushing depression won't let them leave the house and potentially hurt anybody, and that they have the combined mental capacity of an ashtray.

-Dan

133 posted on 12/31/2004 6:22:17 AM PST by Flux Capacitor (NIXON NOW!!!)
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To: Boomer Geezer
they'll be suffering from Post Inaugural Stress Syndrome Every Day! [I just added the "every day" ... I think it fits in nicely :) ]

I *love* it! Thank you for making my morning. :-)

134 posted on 12/31/2004 6:24:52 AM PST by dansangel (Thank you Veterans past and present!)
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To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle

There's one sane person on the thread who is pointing out to the wingnuts that a Democrat pollster on mysterypollster.com has completely debunked the notion that the exit polls are more accurate than the vote. All the DUmmies are attacking this person as a freeper and claiming that the Democrat pollster is a freeper plant. It's priceless.


135 posted on 12/31/2004 6:26:34 AM PST by slane
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To: PJ-Comix

This was HILARIOUS! Yesterday while driving to work I saw a woman driving a car with a handmade sign in back window that said 'Bush Means 4 More Years of Hell'. I laughed and wondered to myself if she was a DUmmie!


136 posted on 12/31/2004 6:45:19 AM PST by usmom
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To: PJ-Comix

Good lord.

Pathetic losers, each and every one.

They almost make me want to cry........ (Not)

BBWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHAAAAAAAAAAA HHaaaaaaaaaaaaa


137 posted on 12/31/2004 6:51:23 AM PST by roaddog727 (The marginal propensity to save is 1 minus the marginal propensity to consume.)
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To: usmom
...a handmade sign in back window that said 'Bush Means 4 More Years of Hell'. I laughed and wondered to myself if she was a DUmmie!

It's 50/50 that it was a DUmmie -
Dummies have Computers, and therefore maybe, possibly a printer (and drugs) and would have made a really cool sign with paisley and peace signs and smiley faces and pictures of Che on it.

Handmade signs are ... well, still hilarious!

;-)

Suicide Hotline... 1-800-BUSH-WON

138 posted on 12/31/2004 7:24:07 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Because I fly, I envy no (wo)man on earth. - Anon)
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To: PJ-Comix
live in Southern California. People in the red states hate us. They've got political power, thanks to the effing Electoral College.

That's all anyone needs to know about the 'rats. Period.

139 posted on 12/31/2004 7:41:17 AM PST by Chad Fairbanks (I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass)
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To: Repub4bush

A friend and I saw a bumper sticker teh other day that said "Like Father, like son. One Term!"

We thought about finding a little "... or not!" sticker to put under it, but we didn't find one... ;0)


140 posted on 12/31/2004 7:50:10 AM PST by Chad Fairbanks (I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass)
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