Posted on 12/29/2004 3:22:34 PM PST by TheConservativeCitizen
From the moment a child is born there is probably no greater “universal truth” pounded into their head by society and culture than of the existence of a fat jolly man dressed in red who brings good little boys and girls presents each year and is rarely complete without his eight tiny reindeer. It is the one great myth that is inescapable. Stores, malls, songs, programs, teachers, relatives, as well as friends and neighbors rigorously propagate and enforce this little piece of fiction. While mostly harmless and enjoyable, the story of Santa Claus is unknowingly used and abused by many well-intentioned parents who otherwise are upright and honest. They insist on lying to their children that Santa Claus is real.
My wife and I have three young daughters and from the very first, we agreed that we would not lie to our children; that to instill proper values and traits in our children would require us to be consistent and honest with them. What we would tell our children about Santa Claus was to be based upon the idea that we wanted them to always trust us and that their faith in us to lead them on the path of truth would not be compromised. Most parents would agree and do attempt to instill such basic principles into the hearts and minds of their offspring. Then why do they insist on perpetuating the lie, that Santa Claus complete with chimney tricks and bag of toys is real?
The main argument seems to be that it would be taking the fun out of Christmas if children did not believe that Santa Claus brought them presents on Christmas Eve. As if the basis of Christmas should be a falsehood and that children would find this special time of gifts, goodwill, carols, and family a shallow shell without an unquestioning belief in Santa Claus.
What little extra fun they may have had as small children with such a story is usually far exceeded by the bitterness and anger that an older child feels when they discover the inevitable truth. It is often a harsh experience to discover that the magical Santa Claus and all the hype perpetrated in the most complete of conspiracies is nothing but a big, bold, naked lie. Even I was surprised at the deluge of stories of disillusioned, supremely disappointed, and frankly, pissed off children who suddenly realize those they trusted the most have misled them.
The next reaction children usually have is to question everything that they have ever viewed as true. What else have they been lied to about? Everything they have been told or taught is suddenly under a cloud of doubt and suspicion. The sting of the discovery that they have been lied to usually has some nasty and unexpected results. Christians should be especially concerned as they are susceptible to their children suddenly doubting the existence of God. Why should He be viewed any differently than Santa Claus? Just another mythical character portrayed as the truth by their parents.
Though such reactions are not universal, they are far more common and consistent than most would like to believe. As I conducted my usual informal field research for this column, even I was surprised by the consistency of the stories of the “Santa reaction” by my friends, customers, and acquaintances. Very few, it seems, have chosen the path that will not result in angry children, shattered trust, and a questioned belief system. How many times do we tell our children that it is wrong to lie but then by our actions signal that it is ok in certain circumstances or if it is about certain things?
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny should not necessarily be banned from the household and Western culture but properly presented as the silly make-believe characters that they are. Santa hats and tooth fairy pillows exist in the Huntwork household but not to the extent or at the expense of losing my children’s faith and trust. I humbly urge that you make it your New Years resolution not to lie to your children about Santa Claus next Christmas.
My children fully understand that Santa Claus is a made up character and I am secure in the knowledge that they have not had one less iota of fun or enjoyment this Christmas than any other child. The visit to the mall Santa and the occasional whimsical story or comment about Santa Claus was still very fun but he is understood to be “pretend”. He should not be seen as any different from a character in a cartoon, a person in a play, or a star of one of my imaginative bedtime tales; fun, enjoyable and entirely fictional.
Christmas should be a time to cherish and spend time with your family and friends as we commemorate the birth of Jesus the Messiah, the Savior of this world. He is the reason for the season and children should be properly taught that Christmas is not a season for greed and fairy tales but commemorating the Truth and cherishing the things that matter the most.
This is also how it has always been in our house. If we didn't want to believe, we were free to. I still believe... ;~D
No, because sometimes I believe in Santa Claus too.
Man, it must be a real joy to live in your house.
/sarcasm
What I wonder is, if children are young enough to not know where babies come from... how do parents explain the distinction of the virgin birth? I don't honestly recall at what age this became apparent to me.
Boy, can you imagine if I had the audacity to question the tooth fairy or the existence of the jolly green giant? All hell might of broken loose. Relax people. Santa really is 'just pretend'. I know that is a hard pill to swallow. Maybe no one actually got to the part where I talk about the trips to the mall Santa and the tooth fairy pillows. One can have fun with the character of Santa without having to spin some attempting to convince your children with fantastic yarns about how he and his eight tiny reindeer will undoubtedly be making a landing on the roof Christmas Eve. I do enjoy the discussion though. (:
Fight on Free Republic!
I'm not really sure what distinction you are trying to make here. You came out pretty strongly in your initial post. Santa is a universal truth pounded into kids heads. Children are forever scarred by the ultimate revelation of the truth. Parents are branded as liars, and not to be trusted. Then in this post you backpedal saying it's OK to pretend about Santa.
IMHO, a child under 5 or so is not ready to understand the details of God except that God is: good, love, the creator, etc. Also, that there are a whole lot of people involved in the God thing because because my son sees them in church every week. Before we can start working with semantics, we need to have a syntax.
A child has no understanding of eternity, a soul or death. From my own experience, that last one is probably the most troubling realization every child will face. Am I lieing to my son in that I haven't told him that everyone eventually dies? I found out on Christmas Eve, that our cat is on her way out. Was I lieing when I didn't immediately pass on this news?
To me there is lieing and then there is selective revelation of the truth commensurate to the ability to understand. True understanding comes from within. I am only a guide.
Only my oldest (13) knows the details of conception. For the others, it's been sufficient to say that God was the Father of Jesus, and that St. Joseph was not His father physically. I think just about every child knows someone who has a stepfather, or is adopted, so the understand the difference.
If a child hears "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the Child to be born will be called Holy, the Son of God." over and over and over, he can assimilate the fact that there's something unique about the origins of Jesus, without knowing how ordinary babies are conceived.
You don't want a conversation, that's your affair.
Dan
/sarcasm
Oh, I know! Isn't that just an awful picture? Think of it -- parents who've proven that they don't have to LIE to their children for the kids to have fun! A whole month of celebrating the glorious truth of Christ's birth, with family traditions, games, activities, trips, gifts, laughter, songs, prayers, readings, worship -- and not even ONE lie!
What kind of living, screaming Hell must that be for a child?!! Someone should call CPS!
/ contempt for a culture of lies — and so-called conservatives who embrace it
2. I disagree with the article. Having become an adult, I now wholeheartedly believe in Santa Claus.
My son is 6. He believes in Santa Claus because of the culture around him. I won't encourage it because Santa is not an important part of Christmas; I don't discourage it because it is not an error. If he asks me if he exists, I will say "yes". If he asks me if he is coming down the chimney this year, I'll say "Let's sleep by the fire and see if he does or not."
And that, friends, is truth-telling.
Let me guess Mr. Huntwork's middle name. Could it be,,, Stick in the mud?
You're the one who chose not to answer my simple questions in post #32. I simply stated I didn't want to debate. I was just curious as to what you would do in those situations. Instead of giving advice or answering, you assumed to know what I thought and your reply was arrogant. Perhaps I would have agreed with you, but now you'll never know. You ended the conversation and now I truly do.
All because I asked you to do a little thinking, instead of responding to a setup. Conservatives are supposed to believe in work. Sad. Whatever.
Dan
Thanks for the laugh.
Completely at your expense.
Somebody who never got a pony.
That must be it. That's what scars you for life... Turns ya into a bitter person, seeking out people to scowl at and belittle for entertainment.
It sure as heck wasn't Santa Claus that does that to a guy.
No, I point them towards happyness.
I think it is safe to say that anyone who feels so emotionally abused because his/her parents "lied" to him about Santa, has more "issues" than he/she is letting on.
Why don't you answer him? Answer: Because he cornered you.
Yikes. Where have you been?
Dan
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