Posted on 12/29/2004 3:22:34 PM PST by TheConservativeCitizen
From the moment a child is born there is probably no greater “universal truth” pounded into their head by society and culture than of the existence of a fat jolly man dressed in red who brings good little boys and girls presents each year and is rarely complete without his eight tiny reindeer. It is the one great myth that is inescapable. Stores, malls, songs, programs, teachers, relatives, as well as friends and neighbors rigorously propagate and enforce this little piece of fiction. While mostly harmless and enjoyable, the story of Santa Claus is unknowingly used and abused by many well-intentioned parents who otherwise are upright and honest. They insist on lying to their children that Santa Claus is real.
My wife and I have three young daughters and from the very first, we agreed that we would not lie to our children; that to instill proper values and traits in our children would require us to be consistent and honest with them. What we would tell our children about Santa Claus was to be based upon the idea that we wanted them to always trust us and that their faith in us to lead them on the path of truth would not be compromised. Most parents would agree and do attempt to instill such basic principles into the hearts and minds of their offspring. Then why do they insist on perpetuating the lie, that Santa Claus complete with chimney tricks and bag of toys is real?
The main argument seems to be that it would be taking the fun out of Christmas if children did not believe that Santa Claus brought them presents on Christmas Eve. As if the basis of Christmas should be a falsehood and that children would find this special time of gifts, goodwill, carols, and family a shallow shell without an unquestioning belief in Santa Claus.
What little extra fun they may have had as small children with such a story is usually far exceeded by the bitterness and anger that an older child feels when they discover the inevitable truth. It is often a harsh experience to discover that the magical Santa Claus and all the hype perpetrated in the most complete of conspiracies is nothing but a big, bold, naked lie. Even I was surprised at the deluge of stories of disillusioned, supremely disappointed, and frankly, pissed off children who suddenly realize those they trusted the most have misled them.
The next reaction children usually have is to question everything that they have ever viewed as true. What else have they been lied to about? Everything they have been told or taught is suddenly under a cloud of doubt and suspicion. The sting of the discovery that they have been lied to usually has some nasty and unexpected results. Christians should be especially concerned as they are susceptible to their children suddenly doubting the existence of God. Why should He be viewed any differently than Santa Claus? Just another mythical character portrayed as the truth by their parents.
Though such reactions are not universal, they are far more common and consistent than most would like to believe. As I conducted my usual informal field research for this column, even I was surprised by the consistency of the stories of the “Santa reaction” by my friends, customers, and acquaintances. Very few, it seems, have chosen the path that will not result in angry children, shattered trust, and a questioned belief system. How many times do we tell our children that it is wrong to lie but then by our actions signal that it is ok in certain circumstances or if it is about certain things?
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny should not necessarily be banned from the household and Western culture but properly presented as the silly make-believe characters that they are. Santa hats and tooth fairy pillows exist in the Huntwork household but not to the extent or at the expense of losing my children’s faith and trust. I humbly urge that you make it your New Years resolution not to lie to your children about Santa Claus next Christmas.
My children fully understand that Santa Claus is a made up character and I am secure in the knowledge that they have not had one less iota of fun or enjoyment this Christmas than any other child. The visit to the mall Santa and the occasional whimsical story or comment about Santa Claus was still very fun but he is understood to be “pretend”. He should not be seen as any different from a character in a cartoon, a person in a play, or a star of one of my imaginative bedtime tales; fun, enjoyable and entirely fictional.
Christmas should be a time to cherish and spend time with your family and friends as we commemorate the birth of Jesus the Messiah, the Savior of this world. He is the reason for the season and children should be properly taught that Christmas is not a season for greed and fairy tales but commemorating the Truth and cherishing the things that matter the most.
It's not lying ... it's just an incomplete explanation. Santa Claus is a total fiction. I don't think children's believing fiction is a serious problem, although we have not chosen to emphasize Santa Claus.
Something the hard right and the hard left have in common: insisting that children never be allowed to have a fantasy life.
I've already raised my children. The tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have not resulted in any hatred or distrust of Mom and Dad but they do get annoyed when others tell them how to raise their own kids.
<< Something the hard right and the hard left have in common: insisting that children never be allowed to have a fantasy life. >>
Really? I've never seen that. Ever.
Of course, I see the obvious distinction between encouraging children to pretend and use their imaginations, and telling them boldfaced lies ("Yes, honey, there really is a Santa Claus; and every Christmas Eve, he comes down our chimney...").
Dan
Work harder. You can do it. What is the third option between liying to a four year old, and telling him everything that can be said about sex and reproduction?
Dan
Parents can raise their children however they like. Wasting an entire column over Santa Claus indicates that Mr. Huntwork has too much time on his hands.
We never did Santa Claus (my mother frequently threatened us with death if we spoiled things for other children, though) and then my littlest brother, who has Down Syndrome, went to private school... well, when they take you to see Santa and tell you there's a Santa and Santa comes to see you, you just believe.
So now our family has a tradition: Mom and Dad and siblings give the toys and books and DVDs. Santa? He brings pants. The "Santa Pants" are a highlight of our Christmas celebration, as they're wrapped badly and usually mis-addressed... we do tell the little guy we're leaving the fire on overnight just in case anyone comes down our chimney, but he doesn't believe it.
It's really kind of sad to see how much he wants to believe in Santa even though we've told him better.
Bitter, angry and disillusioned children?
What planet are you from.
In our house Santa is subservient to the Nativity, but he has a place. And when the children have each discovered in time...at about age 10 or 11, that Santa does not exist, they have crossed another bridge to adulthood. They immediatly try to shield their smaller siblings from this "adult" knowledge.
Chilldren have so few rites of passage in this culture peopled by the perpetual children in adult bodies. Let them have benchmarks.
How do you define "lying," then? I define it as telling someone to believe something you know is not true.
To the Christian, it is wrong to lie, period, regardless of whether one can convince oneself that "it won't hurt" (cf. Exodus 20:16; James 5:12). That one is lying to a trusting child adds a special element of treachery and cruelty to it.
Dan
OK, Dan. Whatever.
This is how my parents also handled the "Where do babies come from?" question.
So if your 8 year old practices away at the piano and you have to grit your teeth, you tell them that? If your little one draws a cow that looks like a house do you tell them that? If your teenage daughter is chubby and has acne, do you tell her she's pretty?
Read post 25, and then try a little harder and you tell me. Are the only options baldfaced lies on the one hand, or all the truth that can possibly be told, on the other?
Dan
I must have missed that part. And so did my own children.
You're welcome to your beliefs as I am mine. But I don't think saying things to people such "try harder" means much. I don't debate beliefs. I was curious as to what you would do in those situations.
>They insist on lying to their children that Santa Claus is >real.
Why I'm offended by these nincompoops!! Calling me a liar! Santa Claus is alive and well and in my house happens to look like me!
>I for one was not crushed when I found out the truth about >Santa Claus.
I was told when you stop believing in Santa, he stops coming. I was 29 years old the last Christmas I had with my mother and still got presents from "Santa".
I continue this with my children. My oldest has an idea, but plays along for fun.
Ever heard the name, St. Nick? Well, he's an actual person who really lived and isn't a myth. The guy in the red suit and the reindeer are based, in whole or in part, off artists' and poets' work, but there is no myth to St. Nick.
He was born of some means, but his parents died when he was fairly young. He became a minister and started a habit of giving to the poor. He gave almost everything he had, and everything he could get, as gifts. He did indeed dress up in a disguise and, while I'm not sure exactly about climbing down chimneys, he at least in one instance, did leave gifts in stockings that were hanging to dry by the fire place.
I'm told that more churches in Europe are named after Nicholas than any other person other than Biblical characters. I send out a letter every year at Christmas retelling the (entire) story. You don't have to lie.
There is a sanity clause, Virginia.
And this author needs it.
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