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Democratic National Committee Explores Ways to Genetically Alter Ideology of Babies -(humor break)
http://www.underneathpolitics.com ^ | 12/27/04 | underneathpolitics staff

Posted on 12/27/2004 7:27:31 PM PST by IllumiNaughtyByNature

WASHINGTON DC - While watching a television special about parents eventually being able to decide what color eyes and hair their babies are born with, Democratic National Chairman Terry McAuliffe had a thought. “If parents will be able to order a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, why wouldn’t they be able to order a liberal baby?” the Chairman said. “Even if they didn’t want a liberal baby, we could give them one anyway.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: agoodchuckle; funny; humor; kindaliketheonion; laughalittle; readbeforeyoupost; someonewillgocrazy
Doctors don’t believe, however, that it will ever be possible to decide the ideology of a baby before he or she is born. “When we talk about playing God and customizing babies, we are mainly talking about physical attributes,” said Dr. Philip Shelby of the Genetic Research Laboratory in Duluth, Minnesota. “We couldn’t make a liberal baby just like we couldn’t make a communist baby. And believe you me, the Russians were trying to make communist babies during the height of the Cold War – filthy animals.”

Despite it looking bleak, Mr. McAuliffe can’t stop picturing a world in which all the children were uber-liberal. “Just think about kindergarten,” the Chairman said. “No more kids hoarding the crayons. The strongest kids would take them all and distribute them evenly amongst the weak. Or, would have no problem if the teacher took them away from him or her and passed them out evenly among the weak. Either way, society wins.”

The Republican National Committee has been silent about making liberal babies. Chairman McAuliffe thinks they are using their vast resources to build a lab, and have been trying to make conservative babies for years. “If they succeed with their plan, the gap between the rich and the poor will be much greater,” he said. “If we succeed the country will just be one huge middle class, which is the way the framers of the constitution envisioned it.”

Dr. Shelby thinks that if science was to try and create liberal babies, they might accidentally make some mentally retarded babies early on, a thought that caused Mr. McAuliffe some serious consideration. “Would they be liberal retarded babies, or conservative retarded babies?” the Chairman asked. “Cause if they were liberal, it would make the Special Olympics much less competitive. Everyone would get a gold medal, and that would be great!”

/humor break

1 posted on 12/27/2004 7:27:33 PM PST by IllumiNaughtyByNature
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To: K4Harty

Ah, a humore break indeed.


2 posted on 12/27/2004 7:31:19 PM PST by The Teen Conservative
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To: K4Harty

"The Republican National Committee has been silent about making liberal babies. Chairman McAuliffe thinks they are using their vast resources to build a lab, and have been trying to make conservative babies for years."

Dang! Terry's on to Karl Rove this time! I heard Karl started this during the 2000 elections.

(LOL! Good post!)


3 posted on 12/27/2004 7:33:35 PM PST by Theresawithanh (It's the waning days of 2004, don't wait, make your resolutions now!)
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To: K4Harty

I thought babies were born liberal - a huge appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other!


4 posted on 12/27/2004 7:34:19 PM PST by GenXFreedomFighter (So he smirks. So do I. What of it?)
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To: GenXFreedomFighter
That has got to be one of the best posts I have seen here in all my ....er....couple months!

Nice post. I am going to bookmark that for future plagiarism...er...I mean reference. :o)

5 posted on 12/27/2004 7:46:23 PM PST by IllumiNaughtyByNature (Never underestimate the power of a cacophony of Cowbells played in unison...It shocks the mind.)
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To: Theresawithanh
I heard Karl started this during the 2000 elections.

Well, now this may have started further back than that.

Young voters are heavily influenced by their parents' political views. Abortion has been wiping out millions of voters each year since the 1970's that would be born to liberal parents. The survivors are now reaching voting age. Conservative parents produced children and helped shape the voting habits of the next generation. The red state numbers may be increasing by accidental design.....

6 posted on 12/27/2004 7:56:17 PM PST by myprecious
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To: K4Harty

That's ok, I paraphrased that from the best ... Ronald Reagan.


7 posted on 12/28/2004 6:47:50 AM PST by GenXFreedomFighter (So he smirks. So do I. What of it?)
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