Humorous.
Visions of sugarplums dancing in my head
Is this the soundtrack for "The Bipolar Express"?
POST-PARTUM AMNESIA: "What Child Is This?"
SEX ADDICTED - The second line is 'Joyful and triumphant'.
Do you honestly think that conservative people have no contact with family and friends that know mental illness...
I hope the moderator pulls this...if not, think about this post...try to go deep...I know it hurts but try...
The truth is down there...down deep.
METROSEXUALITY: "Don we now our gay apparel . . ."
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE FAMILY
(Robert Earl Keen Jr.)
Robert Earl Keen - 1994
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extention cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night
Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family
Feliz Navidad.
And that old standard from everybody's childhood, for the SADISTIC PERSONALITIES: "Good King Wenseslas looked out on the feast of Stephen, when a snowball hit his snout and made it all uneven......"
HYPERACTIVITY Jingle Bells ("Dashing through the snow...")
Barbra Streisand's version is particularly fitting. If you've ever heard it, you know why.
MASOCHISM All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
OEDIPAL COMPLEX I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
BEREAVEMENT ISSUES Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
INFERIORITY COMPLEX and PARANOIA: I Ain't Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas
That ain't right.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm MPD,
and so am I.
PYROMANIA Come Bring A Torch, Jeannette, Isabella
S&M FETISHISM A Slingride Together With You (dada
dadadadadadadadada *whooshCRACK* da da...)
TRIBUTE TO EXTINCT NY NEWSPAPERS: Hark, the Herald angels sing.....
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't after you. "He's knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He's knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!"
This posting brought me to a damn good website with bites of old songs. If this ain't a Christmas song it ought to be. Who is the lady singer? She was the harp in Disney's "Jack and the Bean Stalk" I recognize the voice..
http://www.minibite.com/oldies/itscold.htm
Dean Marting - Baby It's Cold Outside
I really cant stay
(but baby its cold outside)
I've got to go away
(but baby its cold outside)
this evening has been so very nice
(I'll hold your hands there just like ice)
my mother will start to worry!
(beautiful what's you're hurry?)
and father will be pacing the floor
(listen to the fireplace roar)
so really I better scurry!
(beautiful please don't hurry)
well maybe just a half a drink more
(puts some records on while I pour)
the neighbors might think
(baby its bad out there)
say.. what's in this drink
(no cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how.... to break the spell
(your eyes are like starlight now)
(ill take you're hat your hair looks swell)
I ought to say NO! NO! NO!
(mind if I move in close?)
at least I'm gonna say that I tried!
(what's the sense of hurtin my pride?)
I really cant stay
(baby don't hold out)
but its cold outside!!
I simply must go
(but baby its cold outside)
the answer is NO
(but BABY its cold outside)
(how lucky that you dropped in)
this welcome has been so nice and warm
(Gosh look at that storm)
my sister will be suspicious!
(gosh you're lips look delicious!)
my brother will be there at the door!
(waves upon a tropical shore!)
my maiden aunts mind is vicious
(OOH you're lips are delicious)
well maybe just a cigarette more
(NEVER such a blizzard before)
I've got to get home!
(but baby you'll FREEZE out there!)
say lend me a coat?
(its up to you're knees out there)
you've really been grand!
(I thrill when u touch my hand)
but don't you see?
(HOW can you DO this thing to ME?)
there's bound to be talk tomorrow
(think of my life long sorrow!)
at least there be plenty of advice!
(if U caught pnemonia and DIED!!)
I really cant stay!
(get over that old out)
(o0o0o0o0o0o)
ahhhhhhh
BUT BABY its cold.....OUT side!!
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT The Little Drummer Boy
COCAINE ADDICTION White Christmas
ALCOHOL ADDICTION Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
You better not shout
You better not pout
Im telling you why
Osama is coming to town
He knows he is not welcome here
He knows his day is done
He knows that lefties love him
But a righty owns a gun
So, you better watch out
You better not shout
Just blow his ass away.