HYPERACTIVITY Jingle Bells ("Dashing through the snow...")
Barbra Streisand's version is particularly fitting. If you've ever heard it, you know why.
MASOCHISM All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
OEDIPAL COMPLEX I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
BEREAVEMENT ISSUES Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
INFERIORITY COMPLEX and PARANOIA: I Ain't Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas
ALIEN ABDUCTION SYNDROME: "I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In"
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: "The Twelve Daves of Christmas"
AARGH! That is one of the WORST! It will just plain drive someone crazy! Our military needs to use that one for terrorists!
JOHN KERRY'S DISEASE: "O Tanning Balm"