DUmmie FUnnies 11-30-04 PM Edition ("WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU....")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 30, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

The DUmmies are so far gone into fantasy that it takes a very special thread to grab my attention in the auditioning process for the DUmmie Funnies. I believe I have found such a Dummie discussion so completely divorced from reality that it deserves to be honored with a DUmmie FUnnies edition. I therefore present to you this hallowed THREAD appropriately titled, “WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU....” Yup! It’s an absolute guarantee that Kerry will enter the White House this January. Therefore as a public service I again list the Suicide Hotline number for the DUmmies to call this Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON. As usual the DUmmie Delusions are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, still amazed that the DUmmies continue to eagerly swallow the bunkum, are in the [brackets]:

WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU.... Kerry will be in the White House as long as we keep up the pace we have been at the last few weeks. We need to keep the emails going, keep the protests going...as long as we do this more and more leaders will fall in line as they see the movement grow.

[Oh thank you, DUmmie tbuddha, for posting this! But even more practical than sending out emails is to close our eyes real tight and visualize out own reality of a Kerry win.]

I can't say this enough:

1) Protest, Protest, Protest

If you have time to attend any protest in your area, DO IT. Get out there. Especially in Ohio and Florida. We did one in CO and it made the news. IT puts a face to this that people DO CARE about this election for all to see.

[Visualize, Visualize, Visualize.]

2) Email, Email, Email

Use our talking points (see below). Send to local media. Send to national media. Send to congressmen. Send to friends and family. Post in various blogs. Bookmark as many sites you can and put them all in a "stolen election" folder for easy reference. Save good articles as Word docs for cut and paste later.

[Wish, Wish, Wish.]

TALKING POINT: We have mountains of evidence of fraud. From voting machines that counted extra Bush votes to voter suppression and intimidation. We have hundreds of incidences that republicans used. Every established indicator of fraud that we have is showing that this election was STOLEN.

[Of course there was intimidation. All those young voters inspired to go to the polls by Rock The Vote were intimidated from voting due to having to wait more than 10 minutes on the lines. You can’t expect them to wait that long when they have the important Rave club scene to get to.]

Pound these republicans with the message. Thank Jesse Jackson for putting his ass out there. He needs our support. We have a huge lead on the truth right now and as long as we keep our talpking points out there, OUR talking heads on the TV will get the message out better in the coming weeks. But we have to protest too. And if they try to stone wall in court, we'll protest there too.

[And don’t forgive to send oodles of cash to Bev Harris. She is working diligently for us by coming up with new marketing plans for her Vote Fraud documentary.]

"Be the steamroller, not the asphalt". Personally, for me it's not enough to see Kerry inaugarated in January. I want Bush in the Hague for the war crimes he has commited, where he can sit and play spades all day with Saddam and Milosevic.

[“Be a toilet, not a turd.”]

I wish I had your confidence. Perhaps it's the loss of energy from fighting this vicious cold, but I'm quickly running out of steam. It all seems like such a done deal at this point. *primal scream*....if I had the strength that is.

[Forget Primal Scream. I find that smashing my head against a brick wall works wonders in getting my confidence back.]

Yes, I thought Kerry would win in a landslide. How are we going to get him to unconcede?

[By getting him to enter a Deconcession Chamber for a couple of hours.]

I don't know your ultimate goal but mounting evidence points to the fact that Kerry, indeed, won by a landslide if you remember that the Republicans manipulated the results in 3 states that are worth 52 electoral votes!

[And that’s an established fact! There is no proof but we don’t need no stinkin’ proof!]

As soon as the votes are there I'm pretty sure he'll accept the presidency.

[“Hi John Kerry! We are here to tell you that the votes you need to win are out there somewhere. So you can go ahead now and accept the presidency.”]

Oh my God, it would be so sweet if Kerry won this election after all...especially so I can tell all the freepers I know to kiss my liberal ass!!

[Go ahead and gloat just like you did on the afternoon of Nov. 2 when the exit polls showed Kerry winning.]

The last few weeks have sucked ass, waiting for counts to be certified and not being able to do much. But we're getting close to the time when we find out the truth. We know how the MSM work. WE HAVE TO BE LOUD TO BE HEARD!!!! We have to TAKE TO THE STREETS in Ohio this weekend and our state capitols nest weekend. Look what's happening in Ukraine! We have to talk to people we know - everyone - so that this theory stops being tin-foiled! WE KNOW THIS IS REAL!!!!!

[WOO! HOO! The Moronic Convergence happens this weekend!]

[granite]

A lot of us blue staters are red all the way through... I moved to this very red part of southern California from the South Bronx in '76. I worked at the Chase Manhattan Bank at NY Plaza and watched them build the WTC. My family and my sister and brother-in-law work in the financial district. I miss NY and look forward to another visit, albeit by automobile. One million Californians who voted for Barbara Boxer voted for George Bush. I believe that the democrat machine has been stuffing ballot boxes with dead and relocated union members for decades. I think that now we have accurate voting and less fraud, we have reversed their cheating ways. I belonged to the IBEW union for two months in 1974 and still get mail going to my old residence in NYC where I probably voted for Clinton, Clinton and Kerry.

[Chad Fairbanks]

My cats do that too LOL... Cats are weird. (which is probably why I like them)

[Feiny]

They are a sad lot....demented & sad.

[6ppc]

DUmmie bump!

[69ConvertibleFirebird]

...mounting evidence points to the fact that Kerry, indeed, won by a landslide...

LOL!!! Hmmmm.... Why do they never bring this evidence of a Kerry landslide out in the open for the public to see? Or, at lease show the evidence on their Dummie site? Demoncrat Fantasy Land continues to have no need actual evidence, simply claims of evidence. LOL!!!

How are we going to get him to unconcede?

This is so funny!!! LOL!!! Maybe have Algore "unconcede" for Kerry?

[Poohbah]

When Bush is sworn in on January 20th, I think these guys will start looking up Louis Beam's concept of "leaderless resistance."

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Piss off a DUmmie. Copy my tagline into yours. If 100,000 FReepers all have this tag, surely lurking DUmmies can't ignore it.:)

[annyokie]

Welcome! You have a lot of company. I voted for Carter and Anderson and finally saw the light with Reagan when he won his second term.

[granite]

That would be funny, but disingenuous

[infidel29]

Two children, call them FRank and DUane, are playing in the park. FRank has a truck, DUane has a stick. While playing, DUane breaks his stick, then cries that FRank has a truck. DUane thinks, in his tiny, underdeveloped mind, "if I can cry and whine and stomp my feet loud enough, long enough, and hard enough, 'protest', the truck will become mine. Then I will be happy."

So he commences to pitch a bitch. What is the result?

Nothing, the truck still belongs to FRank, reality hasn't been altered, time hasn't been reversed to back when DUane had a toy. DUane actually gets taken home and gets grounded for causing a scene and embarrassing his entire family with his childish outburst.

FRank on the other hand, makes new friends who also have trucks as well as cars. Since FRank just looked at DUane as a complete dork for his outburst, he gets elected to be the leader of the entire park. All the kids come to be his friend, and he then allocates all the cars and trucks to his best friends so they can play happily. The other kids most of whom sided with DUane, all vow to go play in another park, and rail against FRank for giving all the good stuff to his yes, men.. I mean friends.

[Truth Table]

They now have viagra so I think they have changed the term to to 2.5 minutemen...

[Libertina]

too funny!

[Libertina]

I missed the November "surmise" - that is also good. But the de-consession chamber just tickled my funnybone ;)

[Libertina]

LOL I just won't go there ;)

[cgbg]

I have a suggestion for your marvelous Dummie Funnies web page.

I know you want to publish this stuff and be famous some day, but to do that you will need some cold hard cash.

So how about selling Kerry Inaugural Tickets to the Dummies? :-)

[cgbg]

why do they never bring this evidence of a Kerry landslide out in the open?

You obviously have not read the academic studies on the psychotic personality or you would know the answer.

If the Dummies revealed this secret information it would provide clues that would put their sources inside Diebold in mortal danger. ;-)