DUmmie FUnnies 11-18-04 ("I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20")

Reading the posts in DUmmieland has become a very bizarre experience recently. The DUmmies are all abuzz about the recount in Ohio. To read the DOZENS of DUmmie threads on this topic, you would think the Bush margin of victory in the Buckeye state was officially only 136 instead of 136,000. And yet the DUmmies are already celebrating the “impending” Kerry victory in Ohio and his inauguration this January. So come with me upon a journey into the Heart of DUmmie Darkness where fantasy becomes reality when viewed through the lens of absolute desperation on this THREAD. As usual the reality challenged DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the bemused comments of your humble correspondents watching the comedy unfold from the galler is in the [brackets]:

I believe . . .that love is the answer, I believe that love will find a way. The politics of hate and fear will one day fade into the dark recesses of history. Someday.

[I believe that you will be sharing Doohickie’s slop bucket in his padded cell.]

I believe the same (when I am not freaking out at least!!). At the minimum I see * impeached over this debacle.

I trusted John Kerry enough to vote for him. I still trust him, more than anyone else, to uncover clandestine injustice (think BCCI, folks). And upon his inauguration, he will do the same kind of job on the terrorists. Just like Bush, they will never know what hit them. I know that he will do everything within his power to try to win this election. I don't need news reports to tell me he is working on the issue. If I learned nothing else from this election, I learned that John Kerry is a man of character and I have complete faith in him.

[If I learned nothing else from this election, I learned that DUmmies are living in a Fantasy World.]

Every word you wrote is what I believe, too. I trusted John Kerry enough to vote for him and I'm not about to give up on him. Character not only inspires faith, it also inspires ingenuity. I believe those working on this issue will discover a way to reveal the truth. I believe John F. Kerry will be inaugurated on January 20, 2005.

[The Psychiatric Review Board has gone over your file and has officially given you the following certification: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

I am going to hold on to my hope, wishes and faith with all my heart, soul and mind. I believe in John Kerry and John Edwards
I believe in Bev Harris and BBV
I believe Votergate will be covered by the MSM
I believe that many programmers will come forward to blow the whistle
I believe that election workers will confess
I believe that this administration will fail, and at the least Mr. Bush and his cronies will be indicted or impeached.

My belief is founded on my faith in the character of our next president, John Kerry. Peace to you. I appreciate your skepticism, and I don't blame you one bit. But remember this thread and others like it when Kerry takes the oath of office in January.

[Squeeze your eyes shut really tight and wish really really hard that John Kerry was elected president. MAKE IT SO!!!]

Kerry will not tell a soul. He will not tell the media, he will not tell George Bush. He will wait until he has every detail straight. Then he, Edwards and other prominent Dems will sneak into the White House, hide behind the sofa, and when W walks in, they'll all jump up and yell, SURPRISE!

I believe in the vast power of visualization too, with all my heart. Also, most of the world and at least 48% of the country wants Bush out... that is powerful energy. And good always wins over evil. (Not instantly... but eventually. And since he's already been in office for 4 years, it's time for the situation to correct itself.)

[To paraphrase Sgt. Hartman, even the Almighty Himself at this point couldn’t miracle Kerry’s ass into the Oval Office.]

What say we inaugurate him our president regardless of whatever else happens? We'll just set up our own federal government, the one for the smart people, and we'll pay our taxes to it and we'll just ignore that other one... the illegitimate one... and then I can finally go out of the house again...

I just have a feeling that we could all be in for the greatest, most pleasant surprise in history.

[I just have a feeling that you could all be in for the biggest, most horrible shock in history.]

All Omens Point to John Kerry Victory. Boston Redsox breaking the curse of the Bambino after 84 years. Some East Indian Astrologer said that Kerry would win the election, and that *'s signs show him on his way out. I BELIEVE !!!

[And the lunar phase is rising in Uranus and your chicken’s entrails have a favorable reading. I BELIEVE!!]

Logic tells me that Rove expected the election to be closer than it was. If exit polls had shown a close split then a Bush win would not have attracted any public notice. The fact that Kerry was gaining ground in Ohio is probably what prompted him to tell Blackwell to try to block exit polls in Ohio. When that didnt work he concocted the surreal theater event with the Bush clan and national TV election night. When that didnt work, he began trying to cover his tracks and give W. "plausible deniability."

[When that didn’t work, Rove tried to give you “plausible sanity.” When that didn’t work….]

I've firmly believed that for almost a week now. This will be proof there really is a God! And the bible-thumping 'moral majority' can be damned!

[I’ve firmly believed for almost a week now that you will be returning to atheism on Jan. 20.]

I don't know what I believe anymore but I sure as hell can VISUALIZE this nightmare ending with the real winner, John Kerry, being inaugurated the 44th President of the US.

When Kerry gets in...He needs to appoint Bev Harris, Greg Palast, Keith Olbermann, Ralph Nader, David Cobb, and Michael Badnarik to the cabinet!

[When Kerry gets in…he needs to appoint Bev Harris to Secretary of Mental Health.]

People are saying that we don't live in the real world, but a world of "conspiracies" No ... It's Faith, and with that we can create our own reality !!! No one can corner the market on faith ...

[And no one can corner the market on crack. Yes, take another hit from that pipe and create your “own reality.”]

I want to believe and see him and Edwards be sworn in as president and vice president respectively. Even though many of America looks like it has moved on preparing for four more years of Shrub.

[That’s because the rest of America hasn’t entered the crack inspired reality you have created for yourself.]

I believe you are losing touch with reality. Anyone who thinks that Kerry will be inaugurated needs to see a shrink. Seriously people, this site is starting to look like conspiracy nut central. Face reality: IT'S OVER.

[I regret to inform you that your disgusting descent into reality will likely result in your expulsion from DUmmieland.]

You don't have to believe it if you don't want to...But there is a real chance that the recount will flip Ohio. Regardless of what Kerry said, there are at least 200,000+ uncounted ballots that almost certainly favor him. It depends on how many provisonal ballots are accepted, and how many of the spoiled ballots are valid. A recount will answer those questions, and possibly expose MASSIVE fraud. I'm not saying it's very likely, but it could still happen. Until that chance is gone, I REFUSE to move on.

Imagine Kerry at the podium, after it has been proven that he really did win Ohio, Florida, New Mexico, and who knows how many other states, and he says 'They said I was a flip-flopper, and you know just this once they may be right, I said I conceded, but I changed my mind.' Then visualize him at his inauguration party with the Dixie Chicks singing 'Landslide' right beside him on the stage. Sorry, I just can't let go of those images, because it's really what was supposed to happen. I believe it will.

[You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mindlessness; a journey into a wacky land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead-- your next stop . . . the DUmmie Zone!]

I still believe that Kerry will be inaugurated in January. Bush cheated. That much is obvious. Ask people at random, online or in real life, who they voted for. 9 times out of 10, it's Kerry. I don't understand how the majority of people you ask can claim they voted for Kerry, yet Bush wins both the popular vote and electoral vote? That isn't even taking into account that Bush is the most hated man in modern history. The entire world hates him, and America showed more hatred for Bush over the span of his presidency than it has ever shown any president. There were incredible movements in favor of getting rid of Bush... hundreds of organizations formed. Just take a look at sorryeverybody.com. It's overwhelming. I just don't get it. It's not POSSIBLE that Bush won fairly.

Can I live in your reality? Mine sucks. Well, most things are really, really good about it. But the "Bush" thing is a major bummer. I'm all up for switching onto a more reasonable timeline.

I BELIEVE! January 20, 2005 WILL be the day John F. Kerry is inaugurated as President of the United States.

[I BELIEVE! January 20, 2005 WILL be the day El Presidente Ezequiel is inaugurated.]

[You might consider calling the Suicide Hot Line on Jan. 20. The number is 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

My feeling... based on the internets, is that verifiable allegations of fraud are just around the corner. I have no way to know, but I have a feeling in my gut that Bush will be implicated. I have no data other than the stuff on DU and other sites, but the feeling is there. That little breeze that kicks up between the calm and the storm.

I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20.

I believe Douglas Adams will be haunting you for using the Hitchiker's Guide logo as your sig, you bigot socialist twit.

[I believe Dummie Doohickie will be instutionalized on Jan 20.]

You're wrong. It won't take anywhere near that long...

I believe . . .that love is the answer, I believe that love will find a way. The politics of hate and fear will one day fade into the dark recesses of history. Someday.

Wow, that's beautiful. Did Michael Moore write that?

If I learned nothing else from this election, I learned that John Kerry is a man of character and I have complete faith in him.

Sure, and Dubya has legions of crack whores. Gimme a break. Benedict Arnold had better character than John Kerry.

I believe that many programmers will come forward to blow the whistle I believe that election workers will confess

PJ, you left off the rest of the confession:
"I believe in events occurred, even though there is no evidence they did, and thousands of people would have to be involved.
I believe my country is stuffed full of fundmentalist whack jobs, but the majority of them voted for Kerry.
I believe in the Tooth Fairy.
I believe I'm having a nervous breakdown, but Michael Moore called me and told me I'm sane as rain.

Moreover I believe in the power of visualization. MAKE IT SO!!!

Captain Picard is NOT amused.

I believe it too. I am not going to give up hope

The only way you guys will get him in is with a coup, and then you'll be giving up your brains when we red county types get our guns and blow them out for you.

Not that the DU morons could pull off a coup...

Then he, Edwards and other prominent Dems will sneak into the White House, hide behind the sofa, and when W walks in, they'll all jump up and yell, SURPRISE!

When the Secret Service finishes with them, what's the protocol for all those state funerals? Seriously though, Kerry is focusing on snowboarding and not ticking Ter-Ray-Zuh off any further, pulling off a coup is the last thing on his mind.

Even the crazy people are right sometimes.

Perhaps, but this ain't your sometime.

And good always wins over evil.

Not always. See the years 1992-1999, for instance.

What say we inaugurate him our president regardless of whatever else happens?

Well heck, make him King of the World while you're at it.

BTW, can you imagine Kerry taking that phone call? "Hi, we're calling from DU, and we'd like you to be inaugurated even though you lost by 3,500,000 votes. Great idea or WHAT?"

We'll just set up our own federal government, the one for the smart people, and we'll pay our taxes to it and we'll just ignore that other one... the illegitimate one... and then I can finally go out of the house again...

1. You won't do it.
2. If you did, you wouldn't be able to go out of your house because of all that lead flying in your direction.

I just have a feeling that we could all be in for the greatest, most pleasant surprise in history.

You're all going to get dates?

All Omens Point to John Kerry Victory.

Correction: All but 2. They're called the Electoral College and the Popular Vote.

Boston Redsox breaking the curse of the Bambino after 84 years.

Yeah, the Sox winning the Series means a Democrat from Mass will be the next President. That's why they won it in 1960.

This will be proof there really is a God!

Yeah, not babies, or complex biological structures or His word, but John Kerry being President. Uh-huh. Seems to me that would be proof there's a Satan.

And the bible-thumping 'moral majority' can be damned!

Yeah! Just because DUers stand for a philosophy that killed 200 million people last century doesn't mean God's not down with them! Blasphemist twits.

People are saying that we don't live in the real world, but a world of "conspiracies" No ... It's Faith, and with that we can create our own reality !!! No one can corner the market on faith ...

If we really could create our own reality, I'd have banished DU from the Universe a couple of years ago, minimum.

Seriously people, this site is starting to look like conspiracy nut central. Face reality: IT'S OVER.

He'll be gone by noon tomorrow.

But there is a real chance that the recount will flip Ohio.

Sure, just like there's a real chance of Pauly Shore winning the Nobel Prize for physics.

Regardless of what Kerry said, there are at least 200,000+ uncounted ballots that almost certainly favor him.

Pulled out of his Magic Cambodian Hat, no doubt.

A recount will answer those questions, and possibly expose MASSIVE fraud.

Sure, just because we're 16 days out from the election and nobody has found any doesn't mean that there isn't any. Wish really hard!

Then visualize him at his inauguration party with the Dixie Chicks singing 'Landslide' right beside him on the stage. Sorry, I just can't let go of those images, because it's really what was supposed to happen. I believe it will.

I can visualize you getting thorazine...in suppository form.

Bush cheated. That much is obvious.

Sure, just like the existence of the Tooth Fairy is obvious.

Ask people at random, online or in real life, who they voted for. 9 times out of 10, it's Kerry. I don't understand how the majority of people you ask can claim they voted for Kerry, yet Bush wins both the popular vote and electoral vote?

10 to 1 this twit lives in Manhattan. Or, people are just telling him what he wants to hear because the wild eyed look scares them and they can tell from it (and from the distinct scent of crack on his clothes) that he's a DUer.

That isn't even taking into account that Bush is the most hated man in modern history.

By you guys maybe. Hey, keep making Michael Moore the face of the democratic party, that will keep you winning elections!

The entire world hates him, and America showed more hatred for Bush over the span of his presidency than it has ever shown any president.

Just because a few of you idiots made Bush=Hitler signs doesn't mean America hated the man. Very few of us smoke crack.

There were incredible movements in favor of getting rid of Bush... hundreds of organizations formed.

And all their money went down the toilet: BAWOOOOSH!!!

Just take a look at sorryeverybody.com. It's overwhelming. I just don't get it. It's not POSSIBLE that Bush won fairly.

"All my loser friends voted for Kerry, so he must have won!"

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON KERRY!!!!

Even when Hillary runs in '08?

Yeah, that sounds like a solid case to me, a bunch of crack users sitting around talking about conspiracies that they believe are proven by their lack of evidence. Good show guys, now we know why you're liberals.

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