Be ready.....
Posted on 11/02/2004 8:18:45 AM PST by PJ-Comix
Today’s Special Election Day DUmmie FUnnies editions starts off much earlier than I had planned. Why? Because yesterday I was suffering a bad case of the pre-election jitters. However, when I woke up this morning my mood completely changed since I am now secure in the knowledge that Bush will WIN big. However, the mood on the DUmmie site is now shifting from false optimism to downright gloom. You can see an example of DUmmie gloom on this THREAD appropriately titled, “I'm very used to having the American people disappoint the shit out of me.” And I think, DUmmie BurtWorm is correct since I am already laughing myself sh*tless at his DUmmie gloom. So take a break, relax, and enjoy this first of MANY special editions today of the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual, the doom and gloom DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while, laughing at their despair, the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:
I'm very used to having the American people disappoint the shit out of me.
[And Dan Rather will be experiencing a huge diarrhea attack tonight when the election results come in.]
I'm sorry, but election day has too often in my life been one of intense frustration over the profound idiocy of the American people. I'm in an angry mood. It's coming back to me that in 2002, I was misled into believing that an unusually large turnout for a mid-election was allegedly good news for Democrats. I think we all remember how bad the news was that day.
[BurtWorm is suddenly being splashed with a large dose of reality and it’s not a happy experience.]
Not intending to rain on anyone's parade, but elegies seem premature. We may be finding out that eulogies are more in order.
[And speaking of raining on parades, it’s now raining on heavily Democrat cities in a bunch of Midwestern Battleground States. With your eulogy tonight, would you like us to sing “Shall We Gather At The River” for musical accompaniment?]
Did you vote yet?
[Thus inquires Dummie molly of Burtworm, to which Burtworm responds gloomily:]
Not yet. You think that will help? The American people are going to have to earn back my trust. The American system is going to have to earn back my trust.
[No. It won’t help, BurtWorm. I want you to sit around on your ass all day waiting for the American people to earn back your trust. When they do so, they will send you a telegram. But no rush. If you miss voting today, you can always vote in the November 3 overtime election period tomorrow.]
Look - most of us have hope in our hearts - so if you want to be negative that's your business, but we don't need to hear about it today. OK?
[No, ,molly. I need to hear about it today. Burtworm is working wonders for my spirit.]
Did I say I was not going to vote? I voted in every other election that disappointed the shit out of me. I intend to vote in this one as well.
[And get the sh*t disappointed out of you AGAIN. But as I said earlier, Burtworm, you can always vote tomorrow in the special overtime election period.]
Most Americans feel they are doing the right thing when they vote for Bush.
[And DUmmie jpgray wins a Kewpie Doll for having the best moment of truth of the day!!!]
Hang your head in shame for posting that at this moment. How can you live with yourself?
[Simple. Burtworm can be happy in the knowledge that he is boosting the morale of the readers of the DUmmie FUnnies.]
Burt knows what kind of scams the GOP runs. Max Cleland shoulda won.
[Yeah, Cleland should have won but got knocked out by that silly little technicality of not having a majority of the vote.]
vote first, then bitch if you want....my two cents.
[Note to Burtworm: The special overtime election period is tomorrow.]
Burtworm, I've been thinking the same thing. We WERE told voter turn-out would produce Dem victories in 2002, and we got slaughtered. I need to remember this, not because I believe it will be the same today, but because it could be--and I don't want to go absolutely insane with depression if it all doesn't match our high hopes
[Shall we gather at the river,
Where bright angels he has brought,
With it's crystal tides forever
Flowing by the throne of God]
Exactly. Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Believe me, I don't want to be disappointed. It's the worst feeling in the world. But better to be prepared for the worst than to get socked, the way we usually are.
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
Look, I have no doubt there are a lot of Bush voters turning out too. we just need to stay ahead of them. Indications are that the new young voters will win it for us. I saw a lot at my precinct this morning here in NYC. It looks like the late break is to Kerry in Iowa and Ohio. Stay positive, but if you sense a weakness- move to correct it!
[Ere we reach the shining river
Lay we every burden down,
Praise our spirits will deliver
And provide our robe and crown.]
I agree with you BurtWorm. I hope to hell they get it right this time. It will be a tragedy if shrub wins. What will it tell us about this country????
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
BW, there is NO F'en WAY KERRY LOSES THIS ELECTION! BUSH IS A GONER, I AM POSITIVE OF THIS. I am not worried one bit, and I too was shocked by the 2k2 election results. It won't happen this time.
[Soon we'll reach the shining river,
Soon our pilgimage will cease,
Soon our happy hearts will quiver
With the melody of peace.]
Burt, I'm with you on your subject line. A majority of voting Americans can be colossally stupid and usually are. I've got to hope today will be an exception. But, I'm not betting on it.
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
And Reichert!
Great! Add me to the list, please.
Do people go to the polls in WA? Or is it all via mail like OR?
Crocodile tears are flowing for their anguish from me. :-)
Thanks for the Election Day levity.
Alot of us vote absentee, but we got to the polls. Unless it's a precinct with a small number of voters, then they do it by mail.
My husband HAND CARRIED our absentee ballots to Tacoma, to make sure they would get there.
Doom and gloom for the RATS....ain't it wonderful!!!
Note to DUmmie.......get your ticket to Canada ready....the bus is leaving soon....will meet you at the bus station to wave good bye at 9 PM Tonight.....see you there...LOL!
We don't need your trust and we don't need you.
That movie was actually based on a real hangin' judge in Oklahoma territory circa 1889. BTW, I also remember that last speech on the gallows by that preacher who murdered under the influence of alcohol. Remember that?
As a friend of mine said last night, we had to take four more years of clintoon -- they need to just buck up and shut up. We deserve four more years of Bush/Cheney.
No gloating until after Florida and Ohio are in Bush's column.
Thank you and don't forget to take a long shower to get all the slim off tonight.....
Best regards,
thingumbob
You're now on the PING List. BTW, now that it is raining rivers in Seattle and the Midwest Battleground states, I think "Shall We Gather At The River" is even more appropriate as the Election 2004 theme song.
Judge Parker.
I remember the preacher's speech and the other guy's last request "Tell him to shut up." :)
Thanks PJ! I so look forward to the DUmmie Funnies, especially today! We all need a humor break :-)
LOL! It looks like the DUmmie FUnnies has KILLED yet another DUmmie thread. The last DUmmie post on the thread was exactly one minute after this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies was posted. That is why I've learned to allow budding DUmmie threads to grow and nourish before I harvest them. This farmer is learning how to harvest DUmmie humor fruit at just the peak time.
ROFLOL!!!!!!
Please, please, please add me to your ping list for DUmmie FUnnies!
THANKS!
***Thank you and don't forget to take a long shower to get all the slim off tonight.....***
Don't forget the garlic neclace when you go over to DU . . .
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