Posted on 01/05/2022 12:08:35 PM PST by algore
Jeremy Clarkson has been left with a painful injury after trying to herd his cows into a barn.
The former Top Gear host, 61, bizarrely claims that one of the animals on his Diddly Squat Farm in Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire, has a vendetta against him after kicking him in his nether regions.
As a result of the cow nestling its head between Jeremy's legs, the TV personality - who showcases his farming antics on Amazon Prime show Clarkson's Farm - is nursing "smashed testicles."
Comparing the cow to famous martial arts icon Bruce Lee, Jeremy has named the strong four-legged friend after the Enter The Dragonactor and added that sustaining the sore parts has been the "lowest point" in his farming career.
He claimed to The Daily Star, that one of the herd has "an interest in killing" him before telling: "They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly.
"Having failed to connect with her hoofs, she put her head between my legs and then raised it smartly."
"I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date. Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles."
(Excerpt) Read more at mirror.co.uk ...
There was a guy on the ship I was stationed aboard, his handle was “The Mule”... lost one at the petting zoo...
Having said that, Clarkson gave a pretty good review for the model X in another episode.
Frank Zappa was a genius.
I think he made up lyrics as the mothers all played along as just an excuse for killer guitar solos.
Bollocks.
5 Fingers of Death?
“Kung Pow” I believe....
Yeah I had bought it but don’t know if I still have it. Thanks!
Found it
This brought back memories...Went to Family faarm as a 8 year old...They bought me a pellet gun. It was fun learning how to shoot... For some reason a bull was mounting one of the heifers’ Those things hanging down and swingin’. I decided to take aim and fired away hitting said bull square where I was aiming...That big guy chased me around that barnyard and never forgot and every time we came that bull would stalk me... I thought I was gonna die. that was 60 years ago LOL
I was in the milking room at my wife’s uncles farm when a cow went out of her way to stomp on Uncle Ed’s hand. He winced and then grabbed a shovel and smacked the cow on the head as hard as he could.
“Next one I slaughter will be you”
If’n that were me, I’d be sharing steak dinners with family and friends until “Bruce Lee” is just a bad memory.
Of course, I’d probably do whatever it took to avoid having a wild animal put its head between my legs.
Ouch
Mangled Genitals Ping??
Friday Silliness ??
Karma??
LOL
lmao
Yup.
Clarkson has reviewed Tesla since and was quite impressed .
Correct.
That sounds cultish. lol
Best video caption fail of the year.
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