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Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Ductape to Privates...(A MUST READ!!!!)
Corona Times
| Feb. 15 2003
| Unknown
Posted on 03/06/2003 11:33:29 AM PST by Blue Scourge
Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Duct Tape Fears
Corona, CA - Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush.
Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.
"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."
Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair. After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.
"I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out".
Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed.
The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
Corona times,
TOPICS: Humor
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To: Blue Scourge
Go to the dictionary under LOOSER and you will find a picture of this fellow...
(extra "O" intentional for extra stupidity ;^)
21
posted on
03/06/2003 11:47:45 AM PST
by
mikrofon
(Pax Americana)
To: Blue Scourge
Hey, there are idiots offering themselves to Saddam as a human shield, this isn't that hard to believe.
To: Blue Scourge
So now I know who voted for Gray Davis
To: Centurion2000
To: Blue Scourge
He's claiming that he was forcibly taped.....
25
posted on
03/06/2003 11:49:25 AM PST
by
tracer
(/b>)
To: Blue Scourge
After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him. LOL!! YA THINK?! Hopefully the ingredients of the tape residue will leave this moron sterile. He doesn't need to be breeding.
26
posted on
03/06/2003 11:50:01 AM PST
by
TADSLOS
(Sua Sponte)
To: Blue Scourge
Any lawyer who takes his case should be disbarred.
27
posted on
03/06/2003 11:52:11 AM PST
by
the_doc
To: notorious vrc
"SUCKERS! Steven J. Bosell is a Phil Hendrie character!" DING-DING-DING! We have a winner!
No more callers please.
To: Blue Scourge
I live in the PRC and I haven't heard anything about this yet... I just pray to God this is fake because its too depressing if it's real.
You can't sue the president can you?
29
posted on
03/06/2003 11:55:20 AM PST
by
CaptainJustice
(Get RIGHT or get left.)
To: Pete-R-Bilt
hendrie ping!
30
posted on
03/06/2003 11:55:45 AM PST
by
glock rocks
(shoot fast. shoot straight. shoot safe. practice. carry. molon labe)
To: Blue Scourge
Funny, but not true..there is no Corona Times...the local paper is the Press Enterprise or the Daily Independent.
I'm from Corona/Norco, California. :)
To: RolandBurnam
It can't be. He was on the radio just they other day. (KFI640-AM in Los Angeles)
32
posted on
03/06/2003 11:58:06 AM PST
by
Redcloak
(All work and no FReep makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no FReep make s Jack a dul boy. Allwork an)
To: Blue Scourge
They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed. When men cry, in general they are unable to speak in coherent sentences. That's one way to tell if it's an act. The other is no tears, no water. One thing I really hate is all the fake bad actors, men crying without tears and carrying on conversations. I think we owe all this fake sobbing these days to Clinton himself.
33
posted on
03/06/2003 11:58:59 AM PST
by
Reeses
To: Blue Scourge
LOL this loser needs to follow directions he now has to put duck tape and plastic on and off his testicles and in and around his anus, to protect him from dumba$$itis.
To: GSWarrior
It could be true. There are a lot of wacky people out there filing frivolous lawsuits all the time
It's the Socialist Republic of California! This guy will be awarded millions if it makes it to the jury.
I know I'm warped, but in my mind this guy looks like Greyout Davis.
35
posted on
03/06/2003 11:59:56 AM PST
by
radioman
To: Blue Scourge
This is obviously a hoax. Newspapers report that people "said" things, not "sobbed" them.
36
posted on
03/06/2003 12:00:38 PM PST
by
xm177e2
(Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
To: Blue Scourge
This guy owns a business?
37
posted on
03/06/2003 12:03:22 PM PST
by
Tribune7
To: Hap; Bacon Man
Dip$hit ping!
38
posted on
03/06/2003 12:03:54 PM PST
by
Xenalyte
To: Blue Scourge
I can't breath!!!ROFLMAO
To: CougarGA7
AHH, the many uses of duct tape.
I guess we're not the only place the breeds a special kind of stupid. LOL!!!
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