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[BigWaveBetty]

Good Morning!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

How weird is this!! I was thinking about bad jokes I used to tell and was trying to remember the pun about the Seseame Street Bus that I posted about 2 years ago, and while I was thinking you were making a pun thread.

It's cosmic baby, very very cosmic.

[Timeout]

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson," that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader.

"That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet carrying the Rev. & Mrs.Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

[MaeWest]

BWB, what a fun start to a new thread!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

Dam!

[Endeavor]

HEY BWB - you made me laugh. Thanks, I needed that.

[Keeper of the Turf]

Have you ever wondered:

- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

- What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

- Is there a life?...

- Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

- In Arkansas, if you divorce your wife, is she still your cousin?

- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

- What's another word for synonym?

- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

- Why do they report power outages on TV?

- What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

- Is it possible to be totally partial?

- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

- If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

- Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

- If you pull the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?

- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

- Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

- If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

- Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment; but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes-why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

- What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

- If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

- If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?