A little comic relief

Internet ^ | unknown | unknown

[M. Peach]

Uh - Oh... Little Bobby & The Maxi Pads

My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet.

I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for special occasions".

Now fast forward a few months...

It's Easter Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!"

[Irish Queen]

Here is a true story. When my eldest son was about four years old, he learned a finger play in his new preschool. It goes like this:

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.

One fell off and bumped his head.

Called for the doctor.

the doctor said ...

that's what you get for jumping on the bed.

One afternoon while sons #2 and #3 were napping upstairs and I was in the laundry room in the basement, I heard the front doorbell ring. When I opened the door I saw the mailman hysterically laughing.

When He finally caught his breath he told me to check on my child in the living room. My little son was standing by the living room window chanting the "Five Little Monkey" rhyme while ...

snapping one of my husband's used condoms.

[M. Peach]

I'll bet your mailman never looked at you the same again!LOL

[potlatch]

I just spent 15 minutes going through my e-mail joke folders looking for one called The Pharmacist [I think], but no longer had it.

It was about two little brothers - the older one took the younger one to the Pharmacy looking for Tampex. The Pharmacist asked the older brother why they wanted 'that'?!

The big brother said he wanted to buy it for his little brother because on TV, they said it would "keep you protected [safe] all day"!!
Anyway, the original joke was cute!!

[ErnBatavia]

Yours reminds me of my ownself when I was about 10 - a classmate had come down with Polio (a very mild case from which he fully recovered, BTW)so I decided to make my very first purchase of a Get Well card.

Mom was puzzled when I got home with a Sympathy card; but it made perfect sense to me, since I was sorry that he was sick.