Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan
Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.
The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.
Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.
Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.
"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.
"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.
"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.
"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."
Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.
Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.
The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.
Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.
In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.
The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.
That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.
I just listen to what my married friends tell me. Even those who are happily married tell me to avoid it like the plague.
I couldn't have said it better! I would be hard pressed though to find news items of a positive nature especially in dealing with good marriages and/or relationships.
That makes no sense. Sorry.
It was not my intention to make this into a "hate woman thread" - but rather make it a "waste of government money" thread. My apologies that it turned out otherwise.
Regards, Ivan
Well I'm divorced (and getting annulled). But that doesn't mean I don't want to get married again someday. Certainly, I'm more cautious about it, but there is no reason to engage in the kind of anti-woman rhetoric one sees from time to time. Yes, there are nasty women out there. There are nasty men too. And nastiness is common. Marriage is a shelter from this, or at least it should be.
Regards, Ivan
Seriously though, what do women have to gain from the "give the man free milk and don't even hope he'll buy the cow" co-habitation (that liberals love so much) that they can't get from marriage?
How very interesting...
I'm American, white, happily married to my knight in shining armor, mama to the sweetest 12 year old on earth, cleaner of toilets and washbasins, mistress of the laundry and tiller of the vegie garden. My hubby and daughter are #1. I love it! I know hundreds of other ladies in my community who feel the same way. :o)
Thanks for the link..good article! : )
Beautifully said Ivan! I've been divorced for two years and my anullment will be final soon and I really didn't have any hope of finding someone that shares my morals and values..well I was wrong. I did find him and I have never been so happpy. Thanks for the "anti-woman rhetoric" comment as well..too much generalization in regards to both men and women.
I don't know you personally, you're right. But what you show yourself to be on FR with your women hating posts, marriage hating posts, and generally hateful posts altogether on marriage, family and relationship threads...you have issues.
I hope you have a good New Year, BB. Further, I hope you find some happiness in your life.
If you dont like my posts, you are invited to ignore them. I wish you a Happy New Year as well, may you find some HUMOR in your life.
Are you aware that EVERY cat owner thinks that they are the one-in-a-million case where their cats don't smell?
LOL!
I would advice an independent auditor in your case.
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