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Why women have less to gain from marriage
The Daily Telegraph ^ | December 30, 2002 | Sarah Womack

Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan

Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.

The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.

Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.

Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.

"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.

"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.

"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.

"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."

Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.

Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.

The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.

Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.

In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.

The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.

That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.


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My tax money at work, I suppose. Common sense is apparently not common these days.

Regards, Ivan


1 posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan
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To: BigWaveBetty; widgysoft; Da_Shrimp; BlueAngel; JeanS; schmelvin; MJY1288; terilyn; Ryle; ...
Bump!
2 posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:47 PM PST by MadIvan
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To: MadIvan
Looks like an absence of love.
3 posted on 12/29/2002 5:19:14 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: MadIvan
Sounds about right.
4 posted on 12/29/2002 5:19:53 PM PST by Happygal
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To: MadIvan
Having just done three loads of laundry and mopped the kitchen while my better half watches the umpteenth James Bond movie, I must ask why no one consulted me? I would have been happy to explain this for a tenth of the fee this group was paid. LOL!
5 posted on 12/29/2002 5:20:58 PM PST by Miss Marple
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To: Miss Marple
No kidding!
6 posted on 12/29/2002 5:23:38 PM PST by Aggie Mama
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To: Miss Marple
This should be a fun thread....:-)
7 posted on 12/29/2002 5:24:25 PM PST by Dog
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To: Dog
LOL! I AM SICK OF JAMES BOND MOVIES!! They run that darn marathon every holiday, and Mr. Marple will watch the same thing over and over and over...AAARGH!!!
8 posted on 12/29/2002 5:25:51 PM PST by Miss Marple
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To: MadIvan
From article: Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.

Is this because the divorce laws allow women to cash out just like in America? And why is it that this study used divorced couples as the study group? Did they consider conditions before marriage?

9 posted on 12/29/2002 5:27:18 PM PST by Diplomat
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To: Diplomat
I wish I could tell you - this is all new to me. However this is a pathetic excuse for not giving me a tax cut, I should say.

Regards, Ivan

10 posted on 12/29/2002 5:28:23 PM PST by MadIvan
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To: MadIvan
What a crock.

No one suffers from marriage more than men.

The day that women don't wish for marriage is a day that we single guys will turn into a national holiday. The only thing that a man can get out of marriage is an invoice from the state on behalf of his dependants who expect lifetime support in exchange for not having to stick around and watch them grow old.

Best to avoid the whole ballgame.

11 posted on 12/29/2002 5:30:17 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: Miss Marple
That's ok. Trill has had to put up with the wonderful smells coming out of the kitchen with absolutely nothing to eat to follow. grin! It's stock day!

BTW, I don't even let Trill mop in my kitchen.

/john

12 posted on 12/29/2002 5:30:40 PM PST by JRandomFreeper
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To: Miss Marple
My other half insists he must watch them all even though he has all the movies on DVD! Talk about being driven crazy!
13 posted on 12/29/2002 5:30:56 PM PST by pubmom
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To: Miss Marple
I hate the James Bond marathons too, because they get in the way of the Star Trek TNG marathons.
14 posted on 12/29/2002 5:31:38 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: Miss Marple
So what the heck does Mr. Marple do to earn his keep? Surely this is not an everyday situation. Just something you guys do on Sundays maybe?
15 posted on 12/29/2002 5:31:59 PM PST by SBprone
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To: BuddhaBoy
LOL!!!!!
16 posted on 12/29/2002 5:33:57 PM PST by Dog
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To: Dog
You should hide in a corner and watch and let us guys that are practiced at dodging crockery take the lumps. ;>)

/john

17 posted on 12/29/2002 5:34:13 PM PST by JRandomFreeper
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To: JRandomFreeper
LOL!
18 posted on 12/29/2002 5:34:45 PM PST by Dog
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To: BuddhaBoy
I'm sorry you've had a bad experience with marriage. Wow! It doesn't have to be like that.
19 posted on 12/29/2002 5:36:17 PM PST by cantfindagoodscreenname
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To: MadIvan
Well then, the Solomonic solution for men and women is to avoid marriage like the plague. Nice to see agreement between the sexes.
20 posted on 12/29/2002 5:36:49 PM PST by guitfiddlist
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