Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan
Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.
The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.
Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.
Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.
"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.
"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.
"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.
"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."
Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.
Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.
The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.
Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.
In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.
The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.
That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.
You've never been married and you're bashing it???
Ohhhhhhh pleeeeeeease
*L* ... you're having fun huh??
GET OUT .. OK .. now I'm jealous ..
I don't understand why they study failed marriages to learn how to improve marriage statistics. It would make more sense to study happily married couples and find out what they are doing right.
I couldn't have said it better! I would be hard pressed though to find news items of a positive nature especially in dealing with good marriages and/or relationships.
My wife and I? We found out a long time ago that there are things we will do, and there are things we won't do. And even moreso, there are things we simply hate to do, but will, because were in it TOGETHER, and WE are the only way WE can survive..
Thank God for my wife, she made a good man out of me, and I made an honest woman out of her...
Don;t know why I am compelled to say this, buttt...., Dealing with anything means good communication. If a couple finds "something" they cannot talk about within their marrige/relationship, there in lies the seed of their demise. Communication means everything. "The" couple may not see eye to eye, but they may see a way to work thigs out. I know it has been our case (and believe me, we stared down the double barrell end of a divorce and managed to recover)
..okay...enough from me...Later all...
I once thought unmarried men in their 40s were the most pathetic creatures on earth. I was wrong. They're even worse off in their 50s. Yes. The baseball cap is on backwards. The sports are on TV. The fast food is in the lap along with a gander at cheap porno. They're useless even to themselves.
When found in the kitchen, they make not a sound.
YOU: Good Pizza beats it by a mile. Heck, BAD pizza beats it by a mile.
How do you know? It sounds like you haven't experienced good marriage. You need to have experienced both to make the comparison. Now, this is coming from a pizza lover, so I know of which I speak!
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